PLEASE!! PLEASE!! I need help... I am going to freak out!!?

Question

my husband is out doing drugs again!! I have a four month old... what do I do? I don't have anywhere to go. He does cocaine and end up spending about $1000 in a night and we have no money! He owes the Irs $20,000 AHHH help! I can't stop crying. I don't know what to do about my baby! WHY? Why? AHHH PLEASE HELP ME!!

Answer 1

Yeah, you need to leave him now. Don't you have friends/family that can help you?
There are also agencies in your city that can help.
Good luck.

Answer 2

I hate to tell you this. All rational decisions have to come from you. You need a life and need to give a life to your child. Your husband is not going to get any better, in fact he'll get worst.

You will see possessions disappear. You must find family or friends that will take you in , or if you own you've got to put him out. This is an old story that has been told countless times before. The street is full of homeless men that used to have families and jobs, some even doctors or lawyers.

Your husband is in a whirlpool that is sucking him down.

Get your self a social worker who will help you with your transition. You must plan. Don't tell your husband until after you've gone and for your child's sake , get a restraining order.

This may seem extreme at this juncture but today is the first day of the rest of your life. You don't have to go through this alone. Seek help and go.

Answer 3

First get a grip on yourself. You CAN do this. Many of us have. I had three kids when I finally just took the leap and decided I had to try, sink or swim, and guess what? I swam. It wasn't easy, but you owe that baby a better life than this. No doubt, you need to get away. Find a friend, relative or someone willing to let you stay while you look for a job. If you don't have a place to go, look for a women's shelter in your area. If you stay where you are, your baby has a hellish life ahead, and you could both wind up dead in this atmosphere. It's sink or swim, Girl. What are you gonna do? It's ALL up to you!

Answer 4

You do have somewhere to go. Ring up a domestic violence refuge, tell them what you are enduring....they will help you. Ring up the Salvation Army, tell them you need urgent help...someone will come to you. You do have things you can do, you are not stuck. But you have to ask for help. You have to let people know what your situation is. Your baby is at risk and if you are not careful and you dont do something to protect your baby, social services could well take your baby away from you. These are the risks you are taking by allowing this situation to go on any longer.

Surely you have a friends place you can go to tonight...pack a bag for you and your baby and dont be there when your husband gets home. Maybe he will take the problem seriously and go into drug rehab if he knows you have had enough. Whilever you complain about his habit, but do nothing about it, then you are virutally giving him permission to keep on using.

You must know by know that a drug addict lives for drugs and its only when he gets off them totally will he see and act with a clear head. He will be high when he gets home so you cannot talk logic with him. You need to distance yourself from this situation for a while. You most definitely should not be there when he comes home. There are places you can go and there are things you can do. You just have to stop stressing, get your head in order and realise this situation is totally unacceptable and YOU are the only one who can change it.

I really am sorry you are in this situation, its a horrible place to be, but for you and your baby's sake, you really have to take matters into your own hands. You have to calm down and think of other options and you have to think now. Dont be there when he gets home. What about your parents? I bet if you rang them they would come pick you up. There has got to be options......you just need to find any one of them.

Good luck.

Answer 5

I understand how hard this is for you right now but please try not to stress!!
If I were you I would get out of there as fast as possible. This man is dangerous and is not fit to be a husband and especially not a father. Don't you have parents or grandparents that you could go live with for a while?
You really need to show him that you are serious about him not doing drugs. This is not a good environment to start raising a child... for the baby please run fast and try to start a better life for you both. If your husband decides to be clean the rest of his life than he is welcome back... but for right now it seems to me like he will spend the rest of his life in jail soon...
Please make a smart decision!

PS: if you have no where to go, try finding refuge in a church, people there are always willing to help anybody and they will give you a safe and warm place to sleep.

Answer 6

Is there family close-by that you can move in with temporarily? If so, I would do that and then get a job so you can support yourself and your child because he doesn't sound as if he will be any help. And if the IRS stuff was after you married, that is your bill too. I would file for sep. now before he accrues any more debts. You need to remove and your baby from this situation immediately.

Answer 7

You have a baby you need to think about. That's all there is to it.

Your husband is obviously sick and needs help. You probably said 'in sickness and in health' at some point in your wedding vows, and directing him to get help is not the same as abandoning him. He needs help, but he needs to be the one to get it. Unfortunately, most addicts won't get help unless it's court ordered.

Therefore, you need to think of you and your baby and do what you need to do. If he is spending a grand a night on coke, how are you able to buy formula & diapers for the baby? You know what you need to do - you just need to do it. Be strong and everything will work out.

Answer 8

I think you cannot do something about your husband addiction anymore since he's back to it again.
Do you love your baby their in your womb? If you do,then you have to focus yourself. You have to give your baby a better life.You would not want her/him to be expose on the kind of life that you are having right now with your husband,right?

You have to get out of there and start a new life with your baby. Find a job and make sure that you know what is your goal in life right now....

Who knows you can find somebody else out there that is more worth it than your husband....

Answer 9

GET DIVORCED ASAP!!! Or at least a legal seperation. If he has all these financial problems, you need to get away from them. Even if you two stay together, as far as the IRS is concerned if you two are married then you are BOTH responsible for the bill. So as long as you two are just dating or living together, they cant hold you responsible, but ONE of you needs to be free from that debt. He needs to get help, if he refuses or wont go, you need to think of the baby and leave him asap. Good luck

Answer 10

You better contact the local authorities immediately about him and his addiction beforethe idiot gets caught and the authorities confiscate everything you have and your baby goes to child services for months. This is extremely serious so contact them NOW before something happens. Think of yourself and your baby because he isnt, so dont worry about him. He llprobably get arrested and court ordered to get professional help for his problem which is probably the best thing for him. The law and other groups are there to help you thru this but you got to call now. Good luck

Answer 11

First of all, I know its a very difficult situation, but you need to try and calm down. You have to be brave for your child. Second of all, you need to get a divorce with this guy. It seems to me that he really doesnt care about you or your child as horrible as that seems. If he really cared, he would help you out. Thirdly, I would talk to a lawyer about this. You can get a court case against him and then he will have to pay you the money back. You will be ok. You just need to be brave and strong. You deserve MUCH better than him. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. God bless you! <3 if you want to talk you may e-mail me. God bless you and your child. good luck! You will be in my prayers.