1. My wife who I love very much seems to have a histroy of just giving up than to stand up and fight for herself;
2. Her ex husband beat her, locked her up in the closet receiving a 3 year restraining order
3. Her ex husband has custody of their son because he threatened to make her life a living hell
4. After this she became a stripper for almost a year because he filed child support against her and she needed away to have income to support and survive
5. Her self esteem was low at the time
6. She became pregnant and gave the child up for adoption
7. We started as friends going to Church
8. Her esteem is very high and she wants to make things right
9. However she is still submissive to her ex and ask for me to stand up to him for her
10. She's strong but not against him
11. What can I do I want her to be a fighter because I'm not always going to be there
12. She loves me very much and only asked her ex for the divorce after separation of two years but not her son
2007-03-27 10:09:02 · 7 answers · asked by truegenarius 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you wanted a wife with a backbone, you should have married one with a backbone. You don't get married hoping to change someone. She is what/who she is.
2007-03-27 10:13:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Are you my husband?
I have also had a past like your wife and yes she is a strong person but when her ex abused her he took so much away from her and in her mind (even though they are not together) he has a part of her self worth and her self esteem.
She would need to go get some counseling and you would need to support her until she is able to support herself. Try to be understanding with her, she may not even know what is going on.
2007-03-27 18:02:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its sounds like you knew who she was when you got married. When you got married it ment you loved her and you would deal with her baggage. You cant expect to change a person, especially someone who has gone through as much as she has. And call me old fashioned but i think as the husband and MAN you should protect your wife, emotionally and physically, that means from her ex husband. You are her life partner, help her through this rough part in her life. She will see that she can trust you and her confidence will grow. You knew what you were getting yourself into when you got married now you need to stand firm to the vows you made when you married her. Good Luck to the two of you.
2007-03-27 18:04:09 · answer #3 · answered by Raquel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just cause you meet an ex stripped at church doesn't mean she's going to be a perfect wife. And if she can't stand up for her own child, you have a large problem. She has to learn to love herself first before she has anything to give to you. Godloveya.
2007-03-27 17:20:55 · answer #4 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard.. it seems like your wife has been through a hell of alot.. and I'm sorry for that. Your wife may need to speak to a doctor. She must have so much bottled inside of her.. and her fear of being happy and standing up for herself is holding her back. Maybe suggest maybe an appointment and going with her. Good luck!
2007-03-27 17:15:52 · answer #5 · answered by Mel and Ed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there anything that you haven't or don't want to change about her?
You can't just UNLEARN a behavior!! You have to totally change the way you think. But be careful, she might just stand up to you too! By the way...she married you just the way your are too...her saviour! Don't expect her to see you as anything else Prince Charming!! Or, you could try kick boxing (for her, not kick box the ex!)
2007-03-27 17:19:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not understand all of the numbering, you lost me there. She sounds like a mess, and so do you. You guys should really get along good.
2007-03-27 17:22:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋