At first, did your feelings come in stages?

Question

Girl, Late teens
Earlier this year, I started to kind of have feelings for this girl and couldnt stop thinking about her. I had just met her, but I immediatly started to ask if I were gay. I had been looking at women before and remember how beautiful and kind they were, but I thought that was normal. But after about a few months I got really frustrated with the girl and now I dont even talk to her, and I dont know why. I thought it was just a phase, but I still looked at women the same way.
Then, until recently, I started to really think something would work out with one of my boy friends. It was great. But now I am not so sure. There is another girl that I cant stop thinking about. And I think she's perfect. I just love being around her and looking at her.
Has anyone else gone through this back and forth thing? Its awkward for me, that I cant decide.

Answer 1

Hey Lady-

I think it does come in stage. I'm a man in his 30's and my girl is in her 20's. She is discovering things about herself that she didn't realize were there. she has found herself to be very attracted to women of color, and she is realizing that she is probably bisexual. I say probably b/c she is still figuring out what's up. It makes it even more difficult when you have this insane, judgemental judeo-christian upbringing, one that condemns love between people, with parents who claim to be christ-like but promote hate. My girl has also let me know that she would like to see me hook up with a guy. I'm not freaked out by that in the least. I think that consenting adults should be able to do what they want. If you want to love on a Lady, do what you gotta do. You will definitely not be judged by us.

Answer 2

I went through it. When I finally had my first girl experience I wanted more and more, but I was thinking about my family etc. Coming out was not going to be a good thing so I would meet a guy, date, but want to be with a girl and just go back and forth.

Answer 3

Yes it typically does happen in stages. I was involved in solely heterosexual relationships up until i was 17. Then i had my 1st girl/girl encounter and i LOVED it. But then i dated another guy for awhile and was happy but couldnt completely get women out of my system. Then i slowly but surely began to become more detached from men romantically. And now i am what I am....a lesbian. So yea, its normal to go thru stages. I just went with what made me happy and what just felt right.