I met this guy who I want to be in a relationship with. We are friends for now until he breaks it off. They have been together for three years in a long distance relationship and see each other once a month, and make sure to plan holidays together. He says he is at a point where they have to break up or move and neither will move but otherwise they are fairly serious but something has to give. He used to visit her more than vice versa but as of July will not be able to. I am moving to his area in June. He hasn't told me he will definitely end it with her but says he is considering it b/c it just will not work b/c of the distance and he is not even sure she is the right woman for him. He calls me every night and is helping me relocate and live close to him. Does it sound like he and I have a chance at becoming a couple or do I not stand a chance against a three year relationship?
2007-03-27 09:40:23 · 6 answers · asked by LDR02 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Who knows if you have a chance or not. You haven't revealed enough about the situation for any accurate assumption to be made. Additionally, people are a strange creature. Some of the apparent best matches never see the light of day.
Either way, something for you to seriously think about is that if he does end it with this girl would you be his rebound? Ending a relationship for geographical reasons instead of no longer being in love are vastly different aspects. I suggest you move for yourself, live for yourself, and if things progress with him in a relationship manner than good. If they don't than you haven't risked anything and will have no regrets.
2007-03-27 09:47:04 · answer #1 · answered by b0red2tears 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm happily married to someone who was seriously involved in a long distance relationship when we first met ... so I can't say it never works out. But, our happy ending aside, it was incredibly painful. I hated that my "friend" could let me hang out there. I'm not sure if I'd make the same choice again.
Without knowing the whole story, I'd say this: chances sound pretty good that he's already moved on from his current girlfriend, but is either too scared or too uncertain to make it official. So I wouldn't say you should just walk away from your friendship.
But - I'm guessing you're younger - if he does break-up with a long-time girlfriend, I'd be surprised if he's ready to immediately get into a serious relationship with someone else.
If you don't already, I'd focus on building a solid network of friends and family in whatever place you call home - a network that doesn't focus on your dream guy. Give him space, and see what happens. Sometimes, it does work out ...
2007-03-27 16:54:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to give your friend some space.. and a lot of it. He's not sure what he wants right now, with his own relationship. He needs time to get all of that sorted out, before he even considers being in a relationship with someone else.
Long distance relationships are tough, and they may be in a bit of a "rut" right now. You never know, things could be perfectly fine with them.. and he's just using you to vent his frustrations.
Either way it goes.. give the whole thing some time. You don't want his interest in you to be because you're local, and more of a convienence.
For now, you need to be his friend.. and not worry about the "what if's" as far as the two of you are concerened. Keep in mind, that for now.. he has a girlfriend.
2007-03-27 17:21:30 · answer #3 · answered by arkiegirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a chance. Please be very carefull with this type of situation. Most long distance relationships you cannot see the direct result of an action it takes some time before it truely shows up. In other words before you two hook up make sure, the other women is history, and not bookmarked for later use.
2007-03-27 16:46:02 · answer #4 · answered by Niko 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you could have a chance, but then you have to wonder. I would stay platonic until he is completely broken up..I also would make sure I am moving for the right reasons. If he doesn't break up with her then what will you have when you get there. Think it over..
2007-03-27 16:45:09 · answer #5 · answered by jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure you have a chance, just don't jump into it, or force yourself on him. He probably needs to make a clean break, and take some time for himself, or as a friend with you before starting something serious. GL
2007-03-27 16:44:41 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋