i am muslim and most men want to have sex when it is serious. will that mean i wont have anyboyfriend
2007-03-27 09:26:57 · 24 answers · asked by ney-ney 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I'm sorry to say that the guy is probably going to want to have sex with you. But that doesn't mean they need to act on that desire.
However, would you want to continue dating someone who doesn't respect not only your religion but your wishes? If he won't wait, he's not worth it, and you're better off knowing that early on.
This doesn't at all mean that you won't have a boyfriend. There are good guys out there. I'm guessing that as a part of being muslim, you also need to find a muslim partner, or someone who would consider converting to Islam (please, if I'm wrong, don't be offended). Aren't they under the same restrictions against premarital sex? They can want it all they want, but abstaining is the 'gift' given to your God/ the religion / the community. Not pressuring you is part of the respect that they give you as a woman.
Take heart, there are guys out there who will be suitable for you. Best of luck, I hope you find one!
2007-03-27 09:37:50 · answer #1 · answered by melanie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That depends on the guy you're dating. You can't control what he wants, nor should you try. Any guy worth your time and truly cares for you will not make having sex an issue.
It's also best to avoid extremely intimate situations. It's very hard for most of us guys to get "very intimate" and not get stimulated. All that stimulation and no sex can become very frustrating.
Please remember that not all guys are the same and not having sex will not mean you won't have any boyfriends. If nothing else, it should give you a good pool to choose from.
:)
2007-03-27 16:55:25 · answer #2 · answered by â??Markâ?? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are going to take your Muslim beliefs seriously, it would help to date a Muslim who is also serious about his beliefs.
But any future boyfriend you have will have to give you the respect you require. It may be easy at first, but the deeper and longer the relationship is the more he will want to have sex with you. The right man will ask you to be his wife before disrespecting your terms.
2007-03-27 16:40:57 · answer #3 · answered by J*D*M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Girl~
I was 28 years old and still a virgin when i got married ( I am 34 years old now, been married to the love of my life for almost 6 years and we have two boys) and I am proud of it. The thing I did was when I went on the 2nd -3rd date I told the man that I was saving my self for marriage. And my husband thought that was great and married me 3 years later. A wonderful, good man will honor your wishes and will be honored to marry a virgin!
Keep strong and you will have a boyfriend and a very good marriage because you saved your self!
Jennifer
Redding, Ca
2007-03-27 18:45:22 · answer #4 · answered by LITTLE 1 :o) 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No it won't mean that you won't have a boyfriend...ther are men in this world that will respect your wishes. If he doesn't then he's not worth your time. If being a virgin when you get married is important...then you need to find yourself an honourable manthat will respect your wishes. Be open and upfront from the beginning with them that you won't be having sex until you are married.
2007-03-27 17:11:46 · answer #5 · answered by mommy_2_liam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, I admire the fact that you want to stay a virgin until you get married because of your religion - it takes dedication, especially as you go through puberty and begin to have more and more sexual urges and frustrations.
Unfortunately, you have to remember that a lot of men out there think with their trousers before their heart or their head, and you will be lucky to find one that will respect that. But be rest assured, there ARE men out there who will respect your decisions and your wishes it might just take some time to find them.
When you start to date a new guy, obviously you're going to have to get to know him. Not straight away but perhaps on the 3rd or 4th date, bring up the subject of your religion and without overbearing him with it explain what it means for you. This is when you bring in the "i'm planning to remain chaste until I get married". He might not react the way you want him to, but explain to him that this is an important thing for you. If he's willing to accept it and you for who you are then its worth pointing out that he would still be sitting at that table with you trying to get to know you, indicating that sex isn't at the forefront of his mind and thats all he wants from you.
Disasters might be instore for you, all women date an idiot or two, but just remember to be upfront about it. Putting it off or letting the guy think that they might have sex with you at some point in your relationship (pre-marriage) isn't fair on them or yourself. Honesty is the best policy.
2007-03-27 17:59:49 · answer #6 · answered by afterbirth07 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are men out there that will agree with your morals. You will find one. If they can't respect that simple request, you shouldn't be with them to begin with. Admittedly they are hard to find, but if you look for them in the places that you feel most comfortable, you will likely find someone who shares your values. That will be the basis for a strong, long-lasting relationship. I'm sorry I don't know alot about your religion, but I think if you met a man at your mosque or whatever, he would be more likely to share your values. Just be strong, and patient, and the right man will come along.
2007-03-27 16:40:38 · answer #7 · answered by Lesley M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no not at all. they have to respect your religion and your wanting to be a virgin until marrige, if a man leaves you as you want to be a virgin he doesnt want anything else but sex, when you do find a man he will totaly respect you and your wishes and everything sex doesnt have to make people connect it is better when it is making love any ways dont worry you wont be boyfreindless
2007-03-27 16:37:43 · answer #8 · answered by 12121212 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no--i mean yeah some guys these days care about having sex and thats all they want and your gonna have some that wont stay true and will leave oyu because of it-- but if the guy really loved you he would want you to be comfortable and happy and if waiting is what makes you feel that way then he'll stay true... GOOD LUCK =)
2007-03-27 16:46:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make it clear when you start dating or before you start dating that you want to keep your viriginity. I know it might scare away some guys, It's happened to me, but I have found a great guy who is willing to respect my boundaries. That is how you can gauge why a guy wants to date you. If he says no and leaves, he wants you for your body, lust. But if he agrees to let you keep your virginity and still date, he respects you as a person and is way better. ;) trust me.
Good luck girl.
God bless you
K.K.
2007-03-27 21:45:08 · answer #10 · answered by Kurious_Kat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋