My fiance and his mother suddenly have signed up for karate classes together. We have one child and she has one also. The class is two nights a week and guess who gets to watch the kids! I wasn't asked! I think this is all inconsiderate to me! Am I just being self centered? I feel excluded and I feel like I wasn't thought of at all....Thoughts?
2007-03-27 09:26:28 · 18 answers · asked by Nancy W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You have the right to feel the way you do which I don't think is self centered it is just like what you said "FEELING LEFT OUT"....That was inconsiderate and thoughtless of them to just assume you wouldn't mind to baby sit and not to include you in the class.....I am sure your feelings would of been different if they had handled it differently and asked instead of assuming....I would be honest with your fiance and tell him the truth that your feelings are hurt because you feel left out.....He needs to know how you feel or it could fester and cause resentment down the road...At least it will make him aware of not to exclude your thoughts and feelings on other issues and situations that may arise later in life.......
2007-03-27 09:40:02 · answer #1 · answered by daydreamer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's wrong to assume it's the mother's fault. Maybe her son told her it would be fine with you. You need to talk to him. He should have talked to you about it. You won't get an answer until he tells you what he was thinking-or not! It does occur to me that your fiance would probably not question(or feel "excluded") if you took a class with your mother and didn't ask him. Try to put yourself in his shoes and ask yourself the same questions-sometimes things look clearer.
I believe a babysitter may be an option or better yet-they have to watch the kids(or maybe his Mom would watch both kids) so you-or you and your fiance-can take a class another time.
2007-03-27 09:42:30 · answer #2 · answered by Middleclassandnotquiet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. You have every right to be upset. Your being excluded and being put on the spot by having to babysit . Why not sign up for a class that you enjoy and have them watch the kids? Little taste of their own medicine. Maybe they will think twice next time they decide to pull something like that.
2007-03-27 10:01:35 · answer #3 · answered by Missi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is not any longer something incorrect with desirous to place your self first now and then. that is a controversy of self-care, quite than self-centeredness, and is on the subject be counted of your vanity, if that's what you're fairly finding for. a million. take the time each and every day to do something purely for you. Make it something which you fairly need to do and brings you exhilaration. 2. have faith which you're fairly worth it! You should look after your self and accomplish your desires. 3. undergo in ideas a time once you fairly enjoyed your self, and practice that self-love on a daily basis, with on a daily basis affirmations. undergo in ideas, we can't quite love others except we previous love ourselves. i'm hoping this helps.
2016-12-15 10:15:39 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are ENTIRELY in the right !!! At the very least they should have asked ... your soon to be mother-in-law, because she is in effect contracting you as a sitter for her child, and your fiance because he should respect the fact that you are not the "automatic baby-keeper". WHat about respect for your partner and recognizing that she may want to spend this time just with her son ... or maybe even go WITH you to the class.
2007-03-27 09:35:53 · answer #5 · answered by Rob 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm married with 2 young boys.
sounds like everyone is being a little selfish. they should have discussed their plans with you first to set a schedule. however, i'm sure you know, you must make the sacrifice to always be there when your kids need you, however you deserve a night or two out per week and let your fiance watch the kids.
2007-03-27 09:34:34 · answer #6 · answered by Diggy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well y dont u suggest u want to take classes also,if u really aint into the karate ,then i think its more of a natural compromise,but if u r dont hesitate jump in and deal with the kids through babysitter or something ....
2007-03-27 09:30:11 · answer #7 · answered by reifguy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I'd relax, this is what folks do for each other. I would, however, take up an extra activity myself, and ensure they look after the child one night a week too, that'll give you a very good idea of where you stand. ;)
2007-03-27 09:34:18 · answer #8 · answered by Unicornrider 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are right you should have been asked to join them in taking classes or if you did not join them then his mother should have asked if you would be willing to babysit for her. Talk to them and tell them that is not right that you should have been asked to either join them in taking the class or asked to babysit .
2007-03-27 09:37:18 · answer #9 · answered by sassy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It should not have been assumed that you would be the baby sitter. They both should have talked to you about this before signing up for the classes.
I think you should sit down and talk to them about this. Without emotion, just fact.
I'm afraid if you don't put your foot down now, there may be issues later.
2007-03-27 09:31:47 · answer #10 · answered by Blue 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋