for some reason i feel more naturally attracted to white men, than black men, i dont like feeling this way i feel like i should like my race of men equally if not more than any other race. i dont know hot to make sense of how i feel, i think it is because of the really bad experience i had with a black man, my 40 yr old cousin was molesting me and what nott when i was lil girl. maybe this has scarred me in different ways. i thought i was fine and wasnt traumatized from the situation. maybe i have been this whole time. can anyone help me????
2007-03-27 09:23:03 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
i know i should get help for the abuse, but i am asking if others think that maybe that is the reason i dont feel as attracted to black men
2007-03-27 09:34:46 · update #1
The wonderful thing about there being so many different races and colors of people is that you have a variety of choices, and you can select a person you are most attracted to. Some men find Asian women most attractive, and some find African women most attractive. It is personal preference.
Perhaps you were traumatized by your experience with your cousin, and you have feelings of mistrust toward your own family members. We are taught to associate ourselves with our color. This can have unwanted and unforseen consequences later. If you consider black people in general to be a part of your "family", then I can see how you might associate black men with what your cousin did, and be unattracted to them.
Please try to disassociate the person with the color. One person did a bad thing to you. If you were both white, it wouldn't change the nature of what he did, would it? Not all black men are child molesters, are they? And not all white men treat women with dignity and respect, do they? You are a person who happens to have an attraction to a certain look, and that look is found in white men. Nothing wrong with it. However, if the attraction is based soley on color, because of a traumatic experience, this may manifest itself again later, in ways that hurt more than just you.
For instance, suppose you marry a white man and have a son with him. Suppose your son is dark skinned. Will your aversion to black males affect your feelings about your son? Will you find him unattractive, or lacking in some way?
I urge you to seek professional counseling to deal with this.
2007-03-27 09:43:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It certainly could have something to do with it but your cousin's skin color is not the issue here--you do need to get some help to get to the bottom of the molestation.
As far as your preference, were you attracted to white men at a young age? Which celebrites do you think are attractive? Are most of them white or lighter skinned? This might clear things up a little bit. It's perfectly fine to like a different race but not to like a different race for the wrong reasons. It doesn't sound like you have anything against your own race.
Good luck to you w/the molestation issue. I'm sorry that happened.
2007-03-27 16:59:50 · answer #2 · answered by fun_purple_beach 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to develop the ability to see people as individuals. What happen if you meet a white man that does something bad to you.
I would highly suggest counseling for the issue with your 40 yr old cousin and getting the ability to differentiate between him and every other black man on the planet.
2007-03-27 17:14:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to a professional therapist not us on here. We aren't experts at this sort of thing. All I can give is "pop" psycology since I'm not a professional. So my theroy is due to your trama as a child being molested has made u think black men in general are scary creatures. But keep in mind I'm not a mental health professional. So go to talk to someone who is. Not us internetters.
2007-03-27 16:29:54 · answer #4 · answered by missgigglebunny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with being attracted to white men, but you might want to get some therapy about the molestation.
2007-03-27 16:35:59 · answer #5 · answered by Nerds Rule! 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There's nothing wrong with being attracted to white men, but yeah, you might need some therapy for that.
2007-03-27 16:30:29 · answer #6 · answered by John L 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
your molester's race is hardly the issue here. You need psychiatric help. You don't think you were traumatized? Your post says otherwise. Good luck- try to get help.
2007-03-27 16:29:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry to hear about that. :(
Heads up!...here is nothing wrong with being attracted to a certain race.......
just dont compare every black guy to your cousin.....
2007-03-27 16:43:39 · answer #8 · answered by venom! 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋