Recently divorced of 22 yrs. Fell out of love 2 yrs into my marriage. Waite 6 yrs to have children one of ea

Question

Thought having children would help. Started cheating 10 yrs into my marriage to the end. Have great kids 17 yr old girl and 15 yr old boy.Both excellent in school and in activites. Their father is a wonderful man, great provider, & best father. I don't want to keep cheating. The reason I left was I met back with my 1st love & he moved back across country to be with me. I feel I really do love him but can't get rid of this guilt of leaving my family. I left by x the house, his retirement, cars, everthing & only took a few things. Left the kids with him so they wouldn't have to go through more change. I visit 3 & cookk for my family 3 days a week and pre-cook for 3 more. I miss my house I designed I other things as well. The hot tub & pool. I over the yrs tire to tell my x I needed more affection & wanted to do more but the try only lasted a day. TV was his life & to go to bed @ 2 or 3 am. We never traveled so I bought our fun. I pay him 200 to keep living there for our kids. Why guilty

Answer 1

You feel guilty because you cheated on your husband AND because you left your marriage for this other man. Any decision to end a marriage should be based on it's own merits, or lack of...not because there's another person waiting.

Answer 2

I apologize upfront because this one's kind of harsh but here it goes:

You feel guilty because of how you got here. Had you divorced twenty years ago, this wouldn't even be an issue. Had you divorced when you started cheating on him, then you probably could have squared it with yourself back them. But, you were out of love with him two years in and started cheating 10 years into the marriage and carried the betrayal for 12 more years. Do you somehow think he didn't suspect something was wrong? Why do you think your ex would want to spend time with you if he did? I can tell you from experience watching TV until 2 or 3 in the morning probably made him just numb enough to deal with the pain of his wife being in love with someone else. What would make him want to go on vacation with you if he felt that you weren't really into him. You left a wonderfaul man, great provider and the best father of your kids and your kids for that matter for some guy who could knock it out of the park for you? Don't feel guilty. What you did to remove yourself from the equation of his life was probably the most loving thing you've done for him in 20 years.

Answer 3

sure, your ex-spouse probable has somebody new in her life. it particularly is a perplexing element to do, yet attempt to understand that even whilst a guy and a womon love one yet another, get married and function babies, divorce does ensue. She probable nevertheless loves you too, yet might desire to not stay married to you and stay with you interior a similar homestead (or vice versa). each each now and then is particularly is for the final for all worried. it particularly is greater durable so which you would be able to 'circulate on', yet you ultimately will and you would be ok. provide your self of venture via not clinging to what might have been.

Answer 4

You stood in front of God and your family, vowing to love and be with your husband until death. You made a very serious commitment, one you could not fullfil. You cheated, for years.. and you destroyed your own family with your actions.

You should feel guilty.

Answer 5

sounds like you have actually found out that you do love your husband, and miss your family life. You did not say anything about your 1st love and how things were going with that....so the analysis is only one sided.....you mainly only talked about your x, so I think you miss being the family you once were.

Answer 6

the guily will wear off over time...but you feel guilty for living so many lies

Answer 7

You should feel guilty..
You are guilty..
Shame on you...

Answer 8

because you cheated