When I think about being pregnant and giving birth I feel very fearful. How can I get past this? I really want to be a mom. I have a great husband, a stable marriage, and a wonderful life. We have so much to offer a baby; if only I can get past this.
2007-03-27 08:33:17 · 21 answers · asked by sunnydaydreame 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
I dont' know how much it will help, but try to remember that every woman feels that way at some point (I remember, when I was about four months pregnant, I decided I wanted the baby, but I didn't want to give birth.)
Labor and delivery in the movies and tv is somewhat different than labor and delivery in real life. I never even had the urge to tell my husband I hated him or to call him any kind of ugly names (I do remember telling my sister to stop talking at one point, though, but you know, it just needed to be said). And, as weird as it is to think it, with as much pain as you can go through in labor, what they say is true: once you fall in love with your baby, you forget about the ordeal.
Plus, pregnancy is nothing to be afraid of, either. Think about it: it is the one thing that you can do with your child that NO ONE else in the world can do. You're the only person who will ever feel that child moving within you. It's that way by design, I think, so that when the baby is born, there is an automatic bond. Yes, your feet swell up, and you'll get backaches, and you'll gain weight, and after nine months you'll want it to be over, but after it's over, I bet you'd miss it.
I don't know, I just don't think pregnancy and childbirth are anything to really be afraid of, because they are means to an end.
If it's just not something you think you can overcome, you may want to look into a surrogate mother, or adoption. It sounds like you really have a lot to offer a baby, and there are SO many babies out there that need someone to love them. I also don't believe all the hype about how you never love adopted children as much as you could love your own. You CHOSE that baby.
Hope this helps in some way.
2007-03-27 08:48:36 · answer #1 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
CONFRONTATION
This is how you'll know if you can even get over this issue.
Ask yourself what exactly scares you. Make a list of everything that does.
See which things on the list is a rational fear and what are irrational.
The irrational ones, tell yourself to get over them b/c you're an adult now (unless it's a phobia, etc or have some psychological link to it, then u need to deal w/ that tactfully).
The rational fears,...confront them.
Until you no longer fear them. If you still can't get past your fears,...try adopting.
If you really want to give birth to a baby, maybe then you could let yourself go through the course without thinking it so much through and take things as they come.
Take baby steps, ...hey how cute was that "baby steps".
Deal with things as they come, and before you know it, you would have had passed a lot of issues.
Good Luck.
2007-03-27 08:44:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok well pregnancy does suck FOR SOME PEOPLE! Just don't let people sugar coat it and don't let people tell you it is the worst thing ever! Because it is different for everyone! Don't be scared though! It is really an experience that everyone should experience for themselves. Me for instance. MINE SUCKED! I was sick for 5 months straight! But once that was over it really wasn't bad. Labor..It isn't the worst thing that people make it out to be. I really didn't mind it. Dont be scared to ask them for more drugs seriously! And DEFINATELY get an Epidural! I had three doses of it. My labor was horrible I had complications but I would do it in a heart beat to hold my baby all over again! That is the best feeling in the world! Nothing compares! When they look at you for the first time you just have that bond that you can not have with anything or anyone else! So really dont be scared it is an amazing thing! Truely an art! Good luck and I hope this helps!
2007-03-27 08:47:59 · answer #3 · answered by Amanda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fear of being pregnant isnt easy to tell with. I like you, was scared to death of getting pregnant, wasnt sure if I was ready to be a mom, even though I new deep down I was. I love kids, I have an amazing man, who already has a daughter, and I see his love in her, and I new he'd make an amazing man, but I was still worried.
There is no real answer, u just gotta put your fears behind you, just trust yourself and your relationship u have with your husband.
I recentley found out I was pregnant and from the moment I found out, all my fears went away. What your going though, is nothing more then cold feet, like at a wedding.
2007-03-27 09:07:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't have wanted to miss out on the joy of pregnancy-- feeling the baby move within me, seeing my body nourish and nurture a new life from a microscopic size to a fully matured newborn. Even birth, with all of its discomforts and intensity, was a miraculous experience. I'll never regret having my babies.
DON'T try to get over your fears by watching the Baby Stories and BirthDay shows on Discovery channels!!! They can be useful perhaps for prospective moms and dads with a bit less fear, in showing what to expect through the birth process, BUT they are graphic, and I think would probably be more scary than helpful for you.
Still, if you can't get over your fears with positive thinking and educating yourself on the pregnancy and birth processes, consider counseling, and also consider adopting a baby or child.
2007-03-27 08:51:57 · answer #5 · answered by LaundryGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 28 weeks pregnant right now. It is a beautiful thing. A lot changes during this time and it is a little stressful, but I believe in the end it will all be worth it. You will be bringing a little being into this world that is part of you. I love being pregnant.
2007-03-27 08:40:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I had a difficult pregnancy the only thing that got me though was thinking what the outcome was going to be. A beautiful baby that my husband and I created out of love. It really helped. Once you become pregnant the fears change, it is a scary ordeal but you have to focus on how much you are going to love on that baby!
2007-03-27 08:39:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, being pregnant is scary and you are very well right to feel this way. But it is a marvelous and miraculous thing to feel the baby move for the first time and everytime afterwards. Labor hurts! But it's different because the excitement of seeing that little bundle of joy on the other end (of labor) makes it easy. Also, epidural's are wonderful!
2007-03-27 08:41:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way to get over fear is to face it. so face your fear, be pregnant. Good luck, if you've passed that, then fear is definitely not a factor for you.
2007-03-27 08:37:32 · answer #9 · answered by eaglejhon99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a baby is a wonderful thing...the fear is normal for a first time parent, but trust me once you feel your baby move and know that there is a life inside you..it is a wonderful thing. Try talking to a child birth counselor...they can calm you fears and let you know how you can relax. GOOD LUCK
2007-03-27 08:39:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anita G 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋