Thank you everyone who gave all the wonderful information to help me help my kid sister who married a so-called "ex-gay" who cheated on her with a man. He has gone back into the ex-gay programme to deal with it. But now I that I have seen the facts, I am more scared for my sis and VERY angry!
These programmes cost money if you are doing it "live-in" like he does. Money they do not have. Right now, my baby sister is on the verge of a nervous breakdown! She has two little ones to raise! This is just not right! All other forms of therapy or rehab must get approved by a recognised board and there is documented evidence these programmes have a HIGH failure rate! In fact it is not endorsed by ANY recognised American board of medical health professionals.
I don't understand why is this being allowed to continue! It makes false promises! It hurts not only gay people but the straight women and men who marry them plus the kids
Who else has this happened to?
What can do do to stop it?
2007-03-27 08:02:09 · 10 answers · asked by pixie_pagan 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Who else has this happened to?
Well a few hundred thousands I am willing to bet.
What can we do to stop it?
We need to get the gay people, families, wives, children etc. that have been taken in by this whole thing and get them to lobby for a stop to this.
I have been looking online and it seems there is already a strong activist force among gay people to stop these ex-gay programmes. However I think it is the STRAIGHT people who need to realise that it could be THEIR sons or daughters or even THEM who might end up married to a person who is trying to be something he/she is not. And those who have already been betrayed by this thing must come out and speak up!
It might be a little humiliating admitting your husband left you for another man, but you can help hundreds of women avoid the same mistake and gay men from deluding themselves and these programmes from taking advantage of people's desire to fit in because they fear persecution, exclusion and condemnation.
2007-03-27 08:15:21 · answer #1 · answered by jessicabjoseph 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have your sister get a divorce. Tell this man that he is gay and should simply stop pretending he isn't. Those so called groups you're talking about mostly are just scams to steal gullible peoples money. Sometimes it's hard to except u who are. It sounds like this poor guy is going through a hard journey to discover this but evidently in the end he will except himself in the end. I can't really think of what else to say so I'll leave this at this.
2007-03-27 15:29:37 · answer #2 · answered by missgigglebunny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As long as the USA continues to have a strong fundamentalist Christian background to all of the political parties, the government is going to turn a blind eye to these types of things. It's the Moral Majority and their cohorts who are backing these "clinics". So probably the best you can do is try to lobby the government and see if you can turn it into a hot issue until they can't ignore it.
2007-03-27 15:07:58 · answer #3 · answered by charmedchiclet 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your exactly right..it's just another way to get your money. The sad thing is people actually GIVE their money to these "programs" thinking they will recieve the "help" they need. There isn't a dang thing you can do about it, I'm afraid. There is always going to be someone willing to pay and keep this company in business.
2007-03-27 15:07:29 · answer #4 · answered by happyfacemommy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not me,
But mny dad di leave my family for anothr woman, so sexuality doesn't garuntee a painfree life.
that is a really dumb generalization. Just cause he did it doesn't mean every ex- gay man will.
If that's the case then can't I say every man is going to leave his wife for a psyco russian woman, and in the process condone the russian to kill his daughter?
2007-03-27 15:07:20 · answer #5 · answered by danksprite420 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No reputable program would guarantee its results (.) period.
Especially with the powerful and imperious domain of human sexuality.
My sympathy and condolences for your pain and upset; but, as the medical 'club' doesn't recognize homosexuality as a disease or disorder, they can't endorse or oppose a proprietary or church based approach in the attempt to help those who want to make this enormous change.
Feet first, first time !!! Oh wait..that's from Florida, don't dive in the water head first...wait, again, it is apropos...IF you don't 'lay with other dudes'...THEN, you don't fall into that particular hell hole.
2007-03-27 15:10:35 · answer #6 · answered by Bill S 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Every program has a potential failure rate.. Divorce him and move on for the best of your children...
2007-03-27 15:05:09 · answer #7 · answered by Its me!!! :) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is very ignorant of you to put down such programs when not every man who has physical and emotional attractions to members of the same sex want to have such feelings, predominantly for personal reasons, including their religious faith and wanting to live a normal life of having a family. programs like this exist to help such people and they do not need to be stopped but respected, just as you are inherently respected for being straight. they may not choose to be gay, but certainly there is help for them if they want to cope with unwanted feelings.
who cares if its not recognized by any medical health boards? it's a sensitive subject that can easily be interpreted as discrimination when meddled with, so of course no medical health board wants to be held liable as being discriminatory by supporting change. for the most part, it was the civil rights movement and affirmative action that has allowed this issue to be handled at the publics on discretion.
do the gay men who don't want to be gay a favor and respect their right to seek change. i'm sure there are things about yourself 'mentally' that your subconscious has control over that you wish otherwise!
ps... and you can all go ahead and give me a thumbs down rating because i lived this from personal experience and have been chronically depressed for over a year, and with enough cognitive behavioral work, ALMOST all things are possible. i can accept some things being immutable like mental retardation or getting terminal cancer, but get over it and accept that i am walking evidence that with diligence, patience, and persistency, you can become almost anything you desire, including straight, or gay if you don't want to be straight which is stupid because why be something nearly everyone mocks? that's like saying you want to be 600 pounds overweight with no legs and crooked teeth. Tough crowd but oh well, peace out!
2007-03-27 15:11:09 · answer #8 · answered by SouthCali4LifeSD 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Gay is Gay is Gay. Please tell your sister unless she is willing to sacrifice majorly, she should leave her husband. He is gay, no amount of "therapy" is EVER going to change that. He will continue to find men attractive and probably act on it.
2007-03-27 15:10:26 · answer #9 · answered by flow_mj 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if your gay no amount of rehab is going to change that.
2007-03-27 15:07:44 · answer #10 · answered by alexhotpenis 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋