Thank you everyone who gave all the wonderful information to help me help my kid sister who married a so-called "ex-gay" who cheated on her with a man. He has gone back into the ex-gay programme to deal with it. But now I that I have seen the facts, I am more scared for my sis and VERY angry!
These programmes cost money if you are doing it "live-in" like he does. Money they do not have. Right now, my baby sister is on the verge of a nervous breakdown! She has two little ones to raise! This is just not right! All other forms of therapy or rehab must get approved by a recognised board and there is documented evidence these programmes have a HIGH failure rate! In fact it is not endorsed by ANY recognised American board of medical health professionals.
I don't understand why is this being allowed to continue! It makes false promises! It hurts not only gay people but the straight women and men who marry them plus the kids
Who else has this happened to?
What can do do to stop it?
2007-03-27 08:01:39 · 5 answers · asked by pixie_pagan 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Don't be so hard. I hope that this man did not intentionally set out to hurt your sister. With the stigma about homosexuality, especially among the religious community, it is no wonder that so many people try to "change" their sexual orientation to be what many say is "normal". This man probably really hoped that he could find happiness living a normal married life with a wife and kids. He probably tried to live this life only to find out that it is a lie and was hurting him (and her and their kids) more than he could bear.
This therapy may help people deal with past sexual abuse or other mental issues that a person may have. It does not "cure" what is not something to be "cured"
It stops when we all understand. I am a Christian and I am straight. However, I know that God (through Jesus) said that the 2 laws to live by are 1-love God and 2-love your neighbor. That is what matters. It is simple. If anyone can say that and mean it, it is all that matters.
These so called Christians need to pay more attention to their own lives (judging, envy, gossip, etc) - maybe they can create programs for that instead.
Thanks for letting me share.
2007-03-27 08:17:55 · answer #1 · answered by SheTigger2 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
People cover up what and who they really are to fit in with society. As sad as that is, many people who are gay live the "straight" life to try and fit in and make their lives easier because of the hate and ignorance that is out there.
Her husband is not an "ex-gay" he is bisexual. You cant "cure" being gay, as it isn't a disease. you cant escape from it. All you can do is make a conscious effort to not act on the impulses or turn your life fully towards it. If he is still interested in men, but still loves his wife there is nothing that she will be able to do about it. The main thing now is she has to step up and find out what she wants the rest of her life to be like.
He is going to have to admit what he has done and accept his failings as a husband (cheating). Either he can walk away from the marriage and stay friends or commit himself 100% to her and his family.
But understand, like i said before- being gay isn't something you can "cure"- its not a disease- its a personal life choice that one makes for themselves. Either they accept and deal with the urges or they drop them.
Also just because he is the way he is does not mean he cannot be a parent to his children. They will have to work together to raise those children with or without being together.
2007-03-27 08:13:10 · answer #2 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow..bummer. I mean I never really wondered about this in real life, because I saw this sort of thing on "The Simpsons" (I know, probably not the best comparision to have right now) and I'm like, "Why the hell would anyone would want to fake it?" besides the obvious "Oo, I have a girl AND a guy giving it to me."
First, I'm pretty glad to hear that you accepted your sister's sexuality and that you love her so much you'd care about her. Second, it just all goes back to lying in general. People have their personal reasons to lie about whatever, and so either they don't know they're hurting others or they're being plain selfish. Grr...stupid ex-gays.
2007-03-27 08:50:38 · answer #3 · answered by Banana Hero [sic] 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It's not a "myth". People can overcome it, like any other developmental disorder. But it's extremely difficult, and the success rates are probably very low.
2007-03-27 08:13:58 · answer #4 · answered by The Truth Hurts! Ouch! 5 · 2⤊ 6⤋
I always heard that 50% of gay men were born that way and the other 50% got sucked into it.
2007-03-27 08:09:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 7⤋