My mother in law is staying in our house because she is taking care of our 3 month old daughter, she would ussually stay all week and go back to Mexico on friday afternoon, and come back sunday night, but two months ago she lost her green card and she is in the process of getting it back, so for the past 2 months she's been with us all week and on weekends, and it's starting to get to me, every time we go out she has to come with us, and if we dont take her she has a smart remark, about us never taking her with us, and that she gets bored to. this weekend we went to the movies because our oldest daughter wanted to go, my husband invited her, and she said NO i dont like going to the movies, you guys are going to the movies because you know i dont like to go, that way you dont have to take me. It's starting to cause problems between me and my husband. Am i wrong?? Help please
2007-03-27 07:52:44 · 13 answers · asked by lily 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your husband needs to sit his mother down and talk to her about her behavior. Maybe its time to replace your babysitter if she continues to act like a child. If I were you, i would find more places she didn't like to go and keep going there.
2007-03-27 07:59:38 · answer #1 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Word of advice let some stuff go. I would not be fighting with my husband over this. Soon she will be in her own home. I know you need a little space but, I would see if there is a neighbor or some place she can go on the weekends maybe a center or something where she can make some friends and leave you to some alone time. Also you need her to take care of your 3 month old so I would not look to make things harder on yourself.
2007-03-27 08:17:11 · answer #2 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your mother-in-law is getting what she wants. You need to tell your husband to talk with her about her behavior. She needs to know that she can't always tag along with you and your family because you want to be alone. She is already giving out smart remarks to you, which show signs of her behavior. If it is not her way, then she gets upset.
Your husband needs to have that back bone and tell her that her behavior is inappropriate to act like that, especially in front of your kids. With her remarks about 'you guys are going to the movies because you know i don't like to go, that way you don't have to take me', she is feeling sorry for herself and again got her way because your husband didn't tell her anything after what she said. Or did he?
Right now, you just be polite and if your husband doesn't speak up to her, then you tell her something, but be polite about it. This will also teach your children that this type of behavior is not tolerated in the home. Otherwise, if you let her get away with it, you are teaching your children that it is okay to behave this way. Hopefully, she will get the hint. Remember, this is your home too and you have the right not to hear her smart remarks. Once she gets her green card, she needs to leave. And do thank her for visiting and for taking care of your 3 month old daughter. (smile)
2007-03-27 08:30:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok here is my opinion.
I totally see how she can get to you, and completely understand. My own mother can be that way also. But, if its bothering you then why don't you send her back to her home?
I tell you why. Because you need her help. So how can you get upset with the person that is helping you? The truth is you really can't. So I know its difficult to have another adult in your household, I have been there myself. The way to solve this is to get her to go back home, hire a babysitter or consider daycare for your children ( expensive, huh?) or simply deal with your mom in law and realize that you cant have your cake and eat it too. After all she is doing you a BIG favor by staying with the kids, even if you pay her, we both know its nowhere near what you would pay to a daycare facility.
Think on it.
2007-03-27 08:05:04 · answer #4 · answered by RR77 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same place. Well she doesn't live with us but we always have to go over there and she usually goes to lunch/dinner or the movies with us. Here's the thing. It's a good thing he loves his mom, usually this means that he'll treat you good. What I did was talked to my better 1/2 and told him how I felt. I used this line:
"honey you know I love your mom right? I think it's great that she spends time with us, but I would like to be able to enjoy her company more. I mean it's just getting normal that she's around its like me you and your mom. When she comes over or goes out with us I want to be excited. And it's good for you too."
If this doesn't work set aside mother-in-law time. Set a day to go to lunch, and talk to her about how you feel like your hubby and you don't get enough alone time and you miss him. Ask for her advice . . make her feel like she's making the decision to let you two be together not that you are kicking her out. She's probably lonely. Good Luck!
2007-03-27 08:01:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think of you and your husband might desire to attempt and circulate out as quickly as you could. it particularly is merely inflicting diverse unneeded tension on your courting. This courting between your MIL and Tina sounds merely extraordinary too me. of course there is not any reasoning at this element in time. try to circulate and then try working on your courting with the inlaws. till then, it does not be a solid theory to rock the boat in an attempt to communicate. you do not might desire to make the placement greater uncomfortable. in case you and your husband are finacially unable to lease a place, consistent with possibility look into some type of help or housing assitance. do not enable her purchase you a crib once you're nevertheless residing there however, she will have the potential to apply it as leverage and push it on your face each possibility she gets. in case you progression and he or she nevertheless desires to purchase a crib, enable her, thank her for it, and this way she will have the potential to not have the skill to hold it over your head.
2016-10-20 13:25:49 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is out of line, big time. You need to talk it over with your husband. You mentioned it was 'causing problems' between you and I understand why. I would be pretty ticked about it if I were in your situation. Your husband needs to put his mom in her place. It's YOUR marriage, NOT hers.
2007-03-27 08:02:12 · answer #7 · answered by Kitten 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG you poor thing! I wouldnt be able to take it either! You need to set your husband down and tell him how you feel. His mother is pulling guilt trips on him and that is not fair to either of you. You need to talk to his mother too! Let her know that she is not a child and she needs to get a life of her own! Good luck!
2007-03-27 08:15:27 · answer #8 · answered by mare122870 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, send her back home and enroll the children in daycare. You'll be out of more money, but there's nothing like a peace of mind!
2007-03-27 07:58:36 · answer #9 · answered by Fireanddesir 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
help her go home and find another sitter let her just visit or you go see her she is right that if she is working in your house all week she needs to get out it is a bad situation fix it
2007-03-27 08:36:49 · answer #10 · answered by Nora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋