that makes you feel so bad inside. I've been with my man for almost a year now and I am so in love with him. I wish he understood how much I love him and want him for the rest of my life. We argue a lot. Mostly about insecurity things on my part. I don't want to get hurt! I hate when he walks away from me. That is the worst feeling. It's like the more he ignores me, the louder I become when trying to talk to him, leading us into a huge argument, and it's usually something stupid. He asked me this morning when this arguing is going end....I want it to end. I need to be stronger and more confident. I'm so afraid though. It's like I need his reassurance all the time....When will that time come when I won't question his feelings or motives in our relationship?????
2007-03-27 07:51:07 · 20 answers · asked by inlovewow 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Nothing. I feel good about my self and that is indepedent from my relationship.
The point of having a relationship is to have fun and not to seek approval or self worth, or to scrutinize, falsely accuse and torture your man just so you can show him that you have your clutches on him and your radar on...wrong!
You will spook him away with your irrational behavior. Him walking away is the best thing that he can do to avoid arguing about an irrational accusation from your part. Those are ambush questions and arguments that no matter what he says or does, you are never going to be satisfied. He will eventually get fed up with your emotional roller coaster and leave, which is what you want to avoid, right?
No one wants a insecure co-dependent, unconfident nagging drama queen as a girlfriend. You have some work to do within yourself. Is not your bf responsabily to heal your head.
Good luck
2007-03-27 08:02:42 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is hard, but there comes a time when you realize that you can not control what he does and if he is there and shows you that he loves you then it is good. I have been there and after a while I realized that no matter how much I worry he will do what he wants in the end. Usually it is something stupid but yes you need to work on your self confidence and understand that he loves you and you love him and until you have another reason to think differently then go with it.
2007-03-27 07:58:00 · answer #2 · answered by xyz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sucks to have to tell you this but it looks like the problem here is you. Not him. I'm not trying to be mean to you, but its true. I've felt the same way at one point so I understand completely. But it seems like you have low self esteem and lack confidence in yourself. You don't need his reassurance all the time. You dont need his reassurance so that you can feel good or function in your daily life. If you lack self esteem then its not his fault. Self-esteem is the esteem of YOURSELF!!! Maybe you should take some time to analyze yourself and your past experiences that are causing you to feel so crappy and insecure. You really cannot be confident in a relationship if you aren't confident with yourself. You cant love someone else, if you don't love yourself. You have probably been hurt in the past and its not fair that your current boyfriend is affected by what happened to you. You need to give yourself time to heal before you let your insecurities ruin your current relationship.
2007-03-27 08:19:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you learn to relax and stop putting words and feelings into his head that shouldnt be there. If he wants to be with you its because hes chosent o- why are you so insecure about things?
At the end of the day he wouldnt be with you if he really didnt want to.. Stop pushing him away. he will leave if you continue to pick fights over silly things and your relationship will struggle to survive beyond the next 6 months. They do annoy you at the best of times but you gotta realise a relationship is a two way street, not everything can be your own way.
Make more of an effort and chill out a bit
2007-03-27 07:57:49 · answer #4 · answered by Scatty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey!! I can completely relate!! Been there, been doing it for 2 1/2 years (not that it's all been fighting, but we've had our fair share). I wish I could give you sound advice, but we are seeking professional help; he has torn me apart for 2 years (long story and I take blame for my part in it too) and it has been nearly impossible to rebuild my self-esteem/confidence. I put my heart and soul into him for 2 years, while he put his efforts elsewhere. Now that he has realized his mistakes and that he wants to put 100% effort into me, my heart isn't in the right place. If you want to, you can email me and I'll elaborate. All I can say is that you can't take 100% blame for everything, he has played his part too ;) But the only way to get over all of it is to either decide to get over it and do it....or get outside help. I'm just glad that my other half has agreed to get pre-marital counseling; otherwise I don't know if we'd make it in the long run. We love eachother, and have been through a lot and are still growing strong; but our hearts need help healing. Good luck!!!
2007-03-27 07:58:54 · answer #5 · answered by Jaysgirly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It only took me 20 years with my man, a divorce from him to learn why he treated me the way he did, now as friends and hopefully someday as partners we both have the knowledge to make the corrections.
1. Guys love women that are confident
2. Guys need women to stand up to them when they are doing wrong
3. Guys walk away to avoid the argument (STOP persuing it)
4. Before you through somethinng out there STOP, THINK, why is it again he is still with you....if he didn't want to be wouldnt he leave?
5. Don't allow your self to be walked on because then it becomes a really bad habit to break.
Good Luck
2007-03-27 07:59:39 · answer #6 · answered by 20+ years and still in-love! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you so insecure about him? Has he given you any reason to doubt his love? If not, you need to back off, give him space. He needs to know you respect and trust in him. When you question a man's feelings, they get defencive. Enjoy each other, life can be so beautiful together.
Also, read the book Men are from mars Women are from Venus, It will help you understand the way men & women think.
2007-03-27 08:03:35 · answer #7 · answered by LIL C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your insecurity will end when you decide to end it. He will end the relationship if you don't stop arguing. Start there. Decide not to fight. Then figure out if he is giving you reason to be insecure or if it is baggage that you brought with you to this relationship. The cure to this is communication with your partner. Figure it out now or batten down the hatches for the ending that will surly come.
2007-03-27 07:57:25 · answer #8 · answered by NakasEvilTwin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you need to work on your insecurities. That's what is making him not listen. Men handle thing alot differently than women. They clam up when they feel like their getting jumped on. Try to relax. I'm sure that he loves you, but he'll only be able to handle your insecurities for so long. Good luck!!
2007-03-27 07:58:44 · answer #9 · answered by pebbles 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to have trust with him or you will never have peace of mind. The more insecure you are the more problems you will have and the relationship will suffer. If you cant trust him you need to leave and find someone whom you can.
2007-03-27 07:56:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋