I made the decision to be single and gained 20 lbs!?

Question

I think I was subconsciously making it easier to stay single. It's working. I feel uncomfortable enough not to flirt. It's been a year.

I want to stay single so that I can concentrate on my children and learn to be emotionally self-sufficient.

Do you think I should lose the weight and risk feeling flirty or should I keep the weight on right now so I stick to my original decision. I dont know if I am strong enough to go on will power alone.

Answer 1

I think you should take off the weight and make a conscious decision not to have a romantic relationship right now.
Weight gain can affect your health, and is not worth using as a device against dating. What's more, you don't feel good about yourself anymore, and no one should live like that.
Also, and don't take this wrong, I think you should go to counseling. I think maybe you have some relationship issues in your past. If you want to be emotionally healthy, great. But what your talking about is walling yourself in and becoming dependent on your kids instead of a man. Not healthy. Realize that no one is completely self sufficient emotionally- we need people in our lives. Over dependency is a problem, but it IS okay to need people. And it's okay for you to be loved and love in an adult relationship.