2007-03-27 07:41:55 · 15 answers · asked by NHBaritone 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I was in the closet for a long time and i noticed that i was lying to everyone around me. I think that being in the closet makes you deny who you really are and, in turn, you create this alter ego that is not you, but the straight version of you. By not telling people who you really are, you begin to lie about everything and everything.
2007-03-27 07:47:02 · answer #1 · answered by Justin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I haven't come out to the vast majority of people I know. I really, really value honesty though, so I try to conduct myself in a way that isn't false. I will admit if I think a guy is attractive (I do find guys attractive), but I won't pretend to be interested in one or anything like that. If anyone in my life asked me if I was gay (thank goodness nobody has, not yet anyway), I would be honest with them and say I was. I would request they keep the information private though. I don't feel like I'm living a lie. I haven't really had a serious long term relationship with a woman, due to the fact that I'm not comfortable coming out yet. When I do meet someone that makes me feel it will all be worth it (I know a few people that will be not happy at all to find out I'm gay) I'll come out to the people I feel need to know (anyone I want to introduce to my partner in other words, which won't be many people). I think I'm living in a very honest way for where I'm at in my life. Good question. Thanks.
2007-03-28 03:17:18 · answer #2 · answered by T 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think in some ways it is more about survival in your job than tyring to lie about it. I have never been asked but have a company boss that would immediately find a reason to get rid of me because he is the most homophobic person in the world, in spite of the fact that my annual reviews have rated me as being exceptional performer. Our boss would rather pay out money in a lawsuit than have a gay or bi co-worker. I try to use my position to quietly support other GLBT employees but do not advertise my sexuality to other than a very few close friends I would trust with anything. There are a lot of places that are very conservative in the Michigan area I live and do not take kindly to any alternative lifestyles. In all other areas, I would be regarded as being a straight shooter and as honest as they come.
2007-03-27 15:30:34 · answer #3 · answered by Brent W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Living in the closest will hurt you in the long run because you can pretend to be happy but deep down inside you know your not because you can't tell others the way you are. It is basically just living a lie....I recently came out myself I know it was hard at first but many are starting to accept it now and I am not going to worry about what others think...so if you are planning on coming out don't worry about what others are going to say.....and as for honesty you should always make sure to be honest with yourself because it helps with self esteem....
2007-03-27 15:10:44 · answer #4 · answered by aerogrl872000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how "far" in the closet one is. If you are just playing your cards close to your chest, and telling only the people who need to know, and keeping your business as your business, that's not being "in the closet". Coming out of the closet doesn't necessarily mean you have to tell everybody, wear a sign over your head, or make a formal announcement. An honest person doesn't have to tell everything they feel to everybody they meet. Just because someone(say) in your every day work world, doesn't know you're gay, doesn't mean you're being dishonest with them. Your sexual preference is not of their business anyway. If someone walks up and says "Are you gay?" and you say "no" and you are, that IS being dishonest. Just not telling them isn't considered dishonest. (You could answer sweetly with: "Why do you want to know?".)
2007-03-27 14:51:13 · answer #5 · answered by kj 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not in the closet in my life except in one part. At work. I live and work in Georgia. There is not reason I need to share my personal life with my coworkers. Plus in the state of Georgia there are no laws to protect gays from losing their jobs based on discrimination. So I don't feel I am living a lie. I am protecting myself. My private life is just that, it is mine. To my family and friends, they all know about it. It is a need to know basis, not something you have to share with everyone.
2007-03-27 14:49:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it makes you a little more unhappy about other things. It eats at you a little bit and then slowly but surely you start to feel bad about yourself. And maybe you start lying about other things. But mainly your self-esteem becomes an issue. You should try to confide in someone who understands these things you may be going through, and try to surround yourself with friends who care and don't judge you for your life.
2007-03-27 14:49:23 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're always afraid someone will find out and how they will react to it. You can only lie to yourself for so long. The first step is to come to terms with it yourself. Then you can go about the process of sharing your true self with others.
2007-03-27 14:46:46 · answer #8 · answered by TobyFox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your in the miltary huh? thats the only place you gotta hide it
i really dont thnk it makes a differance as in a girl can be a s-l-u-t but still be a good person same thing here your whoreing how you are out to some one elese to make them happy it doesnt mean that your going to lie about evrything
2007-03-27 14:45:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
hopefully it doesn't i would be very worried about our gay miltary personnel that aren't allowed to honestly open in the military, the government says it is okay to be gay and in the miltary and long as you don't tell anyone. the government wants to keep gays in the closet
2007-03-27 15:00:53 · answer #10 · answered by TRACER 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋