Should I leave him alone?

Question

My boyfriend and I broke up last year and he got someone pregnant. We have a 3yr old son together. The baby was born in October. He has been trying to make things work with us again. He is a wonderful father and I'm still really in liove with him. The girl he has a baby too is way younger than us and is very inexperienced as a mother. He has to do alot of stuff and she always calls him for things. I love him so much but do you really think this a hassle to deal with. I'm trying to do whats right for my son but am I doing whats right for me? Please let me know you're opinion.

Answer 1

hey sounds like a tricky situation you're finding yourself in.... wow!! i dunno how you're handling this so well! i gotta say i'm impressed... well anyways, my thoughts are you should give him a little extra space. don't drop all contact with him completely but i think you should let him initiate things for a while... i can understand this girl has a lot on her plate right now and he needs to help her out. i'm glad to hear he's still involved in her life aswel as yours!! i really hope things get sorted for you and your child and maybe you and your man will be together in the end!! who knows? i think letting him initiate though is the best thing for now. all the best!
x

Answer 2

That really is a tough one. Do you think that the other mother is capable of raising her child? If not, could you see yourself, your boyfriend, your son, and the other baby being a family together? If the mother really is as incapable of parenting as you say, then maybe the baby could be a member of your family and see it's mother on the weekends, and what not. If that's not a possibility then you have to think about what is right for both you and your son. It seems like you both really do want and need your boyfriend in your life, and that you should do what it takes to keep him there, whether it is a hassel or not. I'm sure that the new mother will eventually learn to handle things more on here own and not rely as heavily on your husband if the first idea is not an option. I really do wish you the best of luck.

Answer 3

Well u can't hold it against him because u wer broke up but the fact remains that HE had a child not you. He needs to be a man and still provide for your needs and your son's needs as well as take care of the other child. If he is not willing to sacrifice and put for an honest effort to do that then loose him. That's great that he's a wonderful father that means he wont have a problem paying child support!! The man has to be good to YOU in order for him to be any kind of example for your son and you will be the best mother and better able to provide for your son's needs if you are happy in your life situation. If this man does not have your BEST interest in mind, CUT YOUR LOSSES NOW!

Answer 4

WOW!! It DOES sound like EXTRA baggage that WILL cause you stress, however knowing the other girl is younger and probably NOT a real good mom - maybe in time (after you're married to your boyfriend and make things right) he could have sole custody of that child. Meanwhile, I would have some 'sit down and really talk about this' conversations with him. Does he realize if you make this decison BOTH of you are in it for the duration NOT when you (as in him) get bored and want to leave anytime????? It's hard enough on kids when we have them out of wedlock - imagine not having a real permanent home as in mother AND dad around all the time. Good luck, sweetie! Pray about it, okay?

Answer 5

just remember if you continue this relationship with him that other women is always going to be in your life too. I would just let him go, I am pretty sure he will still be in your sons life you have to do what is best for you and your kid... think about it is he really worth you loosing sleep when the other girl calls him and needs him to come over for baby reason. You have to remember where there was a fire ashes still burn....

Answer 6

Well, because you have a son together, he is going to be in your life anyway. If you two want to try it again, then do so. But let him know there will be no back and forth with this other girl. He needs to be there for his child, but he doesn't need to deal much with her. Good luck to all three of you.

Answer 7

it's really up to you whether or not you can support the fact that he has another son to take care of. that's something that you can't erase or take away from him. unless of course he's putting too much effort to the other baby momma then i would understand a concern for that since he only should be doing all he can for that child..not the baby momma. if he's doing nothing wrong and only just trying to be a father to his other child...and you can't support this then let him go. it'll only strain your relationship n' it will never work.

Answer 8

I think that you need to talk to him and let him know how you feel, maybe that will help you relationship. but as far as the other girl and the baby, you have to know that if you do decide to stay with him, the girl and the baby will always be in your life. but I'm sure that you can make it work if you guys really try.
good luck!

Answer 9

If you want to make it work, it can. However, he may have to put some boundaries on what he does with her. Does he do things for her because of their child or because he wants to be with her. That's what you have to figure out. It can be a big hassle but down the road might be worth it.

Answer 10

What you should do is really up to you. Like you said that other mother is really inexperienced and she will need all the help that she can get, even though it will be a hassel. I really cannot say what you can do, its really up to you. Think about what you want, where do you stand in all of this. Talk to your partner about this.