Speculations, thoughts, feelings,opinions please?

Question

I'm in continuing contact (personal e-mail) with many, many Q&A users, generated by their questions of assorted confusion, depression, circumstantial anxieties. Most have become "friends." I don't believe in giving "blatant" advice, but rather ask questions that they can then ask of THEMSELVES. (As I would with any client.) The positive responses have been rewarding; I don't get "paid," I simply care. Yet, I've recently gotten some rather hostile e-mails intimating I "read too much between the lines" (!) & they're NOT going to e-mail me again! I interpret this as someone who truly doesn't want to look within, & that's fine. I've also noticed quite a few thumbs down on my answers. So this is my question: How do you think people "may" respond when I use "Psychologist" as my source? Bad experiences with psychologists? That I'm "puffing?" I'd really appreciate your input. The more, the better. Thank you so much.

Good point katoss--perhaps I need to give my degree, but who would necessarily believe that, either? Since it's in "Source" & not within the answer, I'd never have imagined anyone would assume I was suggesting they see one. It "could" mean I've seen one, however!
Perhaps I can rephrase..

Thank you Joanne; I appreciate your "confidence" in me!

Jennifer, that's the kind of person I was referring to, who crys for help, but doesn't really want it, & as I said, that's fine. I used to put "Psychologist, marriage & family counselor"..but as you suggested, I don't think I'll change anything.

I appreciate the input!

& much, much thanks to tito ort--one of my VERY special friends! Her wisdom often makes me feel she'd make a far better psycholgist than I!

deep_blu, I love your avatar! Another thoughtful answer. First paragraph, yes, I hope that's what I do. I never care about thumbs down, & I learned long ago that it doesn't take more than 2 sessions to know someone does NOT want help. So be it. My (not so articulately stated) interest was for feedback on the way I phrased my "source." Thank you so much...

"Love is"--a truly thoughtful answer. Please note that I totally understand "There are none so blind as those who will not see," & I'd never expect good feedback from EVERYONE. My curiosity was more in the "Source" information, & if I made it better, I could reach more people. The pattern I see from responses confirms what I believed, to be who I am, & not change only for those who truly do NOT care. Nor am I "able" to care for THEM. This has been an interesting experience!

I must stop adding details until this is over. Just one for now. Taker 07--I couldn't agree with you more, although I believe PSYCHIATRISTS fit your first paragraph best. The lamp gives light to the dark passage, but the wanderer is guided on the way. Not by answers, but by questions.

ZeeZyx, if you'd taken time to read my (copious) details, you'd see that I don't give "advice." No, it isn't unethical. I don't diagnose or "label." I do what any "caring" person would; the 98% positive responses compensate for those with negative attitudes who would (perhaps) reject "any" act of kindness. "Psychologist" simply represents substantial (professional)years with human experiences. I have been & am, painter, paralegal & writer. You're welcome to dispute this as well. Thank you for the careful thought you put in your answer, & have a pleasant day.

Thank you, Rooster. I'm clearly "getting through" to many people, & have ongoing correspondence with them. Before the "interesting" answer of ZeeZyx, I'd gotten two beautiful emails telling me I'd helped them to see new perspectives (for THEMSELVES) & that is rewarding. Amp is right: I could have answered my own question, but I'm always interested in the opinions of others. I never pay attention to thumbs down, nor do I give them. "Perhaps" my question was superfluous, but it's been insightful, & I'm glad I asked it.

...To clarify, I meant that I'm not insulted by "thumbs down," but I usually don't get them in this section. I simply wondered if some were responding to psychologist as "pompous," even though others refer to their professions to indicate they have some knowledge in the subject.

Thanks for serious answers. I still have much to learn!

Answer 1

Maybe the answer comes from considering your audience. If they are having emotional problems, disorders, dysfunctions, etc., then maybe they aren't as capable of responding in a calm, mature, reasoned way.

I once had a friend who had become an alcoholic and a pathological liar. During one of my rare encounters with him, he opened up about a personal problem. I suggested something reasonable in a low-key way and he exploded, telling me to mind my own f-----g business.

If I were you, and if you find doing what you're doing personally fulfilling, I wouldn't change a thing. Maybe adding "psychologist" helps some people accept your advice! Who knows? Just put it out there and let it help whoever will accept it. And not all will...

Answer 2

What I found always very valuable about the answers you for example also gave to me, was that you gave from your own personal life experiences! So what you went through. This is so extraordinary and this helped me the most.
As such it does not matter that you are a psychologist or not. In my view you do not "need" to ad it, but it does also not disturb me when you ad it as your reason might be to show people that you made lots of hands on experiences, also with others.
A psychologist without own maturity and life experiences can be although having an incredible "toolbox" even useless in terms of helping others ( at least I experienced that once with a young psychologist).
If somebody did not like your answer, this has nothing to do with you being a psychologist, but he just did not get from you what he wanted, and might had got from you what he "needed". And you have to live with this. It will make this person think in the end or not. We do not know and you cannot know. Must you really know? It is the persons own free decision to stay in denial and no power in the world can change this, only his own free decision.

Would it be "better" to let the psychologist source away? Why, would it be? If you feel good to state it, then do it. There might be the occasional person who had some "bad" experiences with a psychologist and this word triggers in him or her something. You cannot avoid this on the yahoo answer and question playground.
If you stay who and how you are, you will address "the" people who need it and you give "the" people who you are meant to give. Do not expect from everybody good feedback.
Do that, what I also still try to do. Live your own truth, in terms of follow your own inner music, or your own inner voice.
You do not harm anybody if you state that you are a psychologist and I found this even interesting.
Do not depend on good feedback. If you need good feedback, let me tell you, that you gave me a few puzzle pieces I looked for quite a while and could not find myself. You are contributing to other peoples life, you truly are!
LIS

Answer 3

Hey there Dragon. I would think that as a psychologist you'd be uniquely qualified to understand motivations for human behaviour, so you can probably answer your own question...but my guess would be that either you hit a nerve with certain people who perhaps have a negative view of psychologists (based on bad experiences etc) or just that there are people who like to give thumbs down to good answers out of jealousy or spite. Some people are just negative & like to bring other people down so that they can feel better about themselves. Some people are resistant to good advice & defensive about being told what to do. Of course I'm not an expert. Just a guess! Cheers! It wouldn't bother me that you use Psychologist as your source, though if you are one you could make that more clear. I usually don't mention my source since it's predominantly my own subjective opinions & ideas.

:)

Answer 4

Psychologists are helpful in dealing with your mental issues but ultimately, only you can help yourself mentally. I feel that psychologists these days are more into diagnosing a person quickly rather than waiting patiently to see how a person's mental state unravels. They have a couple of sessions, just nod at everything you say and voila. they give u advice or what to take!
I am sure not all psychologists are like that but many are adopting what I have written about. We do appreciate your output but I guess that your answers are a guide, a lamp to light a dark passage but as I said, only the person with the problem can help himself as he knows what he is going through.

Answer 5

Trying to help people see themselves differently is a lot different to telling people what to think. You do not tell people what to think, you help them open their mind and take a look at the bigger picture.

That reading between the lines thing sounds to me that maybe those people don't really want help!? They snap because they have realised that they have either made a mistake or that what they have to deal with is too hard to face, so they run.

With thumbsdown. People either don't agree with you (its possibly not even because you're wrong - just because they want someone to agree with them) - or are just there to thumbsdown everyone.

You and I both know you're doing a great thing and are such an awesome person!! I wouldn't worry about those people who can't grab onto a helping hand when its offered. There's nothing you can do about it.

Answer 6

i think that putting 'psychologist' as your source would lend creedence to your answers for some, while others would still question your authenticity. personally, i think if you have thoughtout intuitive answers then you will be believed to be a psychologist! just remember, there are a lot of people on here that just take pleasure in dishing out bad feelings and "stirring up s**t" they will give you a hard time no matter what you say......
GOOD LUCK, AND THANK YOU!! :)

Answer 7

You might want to clarify that YOU actually hold that degree and career title. Simply the word "psychologist" might suggest that they need to see one, or that you claim to have consulted one.

I might take that a little more seriously than just seeing the word "psychologist", but we must remember that this is the internet, and not to discredit you, but it's hard to believe everything we see on here.

Answer 8

psychology seems to be too freely assumed by a lot of people here. everyone wants to be the expert for every question, every situation. its often difficult to distinguish who is really helping and who is just full of it. unfortunately, most are just full of it. if you are taking subtle or indirect approaches, they may not be taken seriously. such are drawbacks to online communications. i appreciate what you do and hope you find ways to get through to people.

as for thumbs... in my experience, people who receive thumbs down on their answer will a lot of times thumb everyone else down in spite, or at least those they disagree with. the thumbs are basically pointless, i wouldn't worry about that much.

good luck, i hope you found this somewhat insightful.

Answer 9

Hmmm.....
Psychi and Psycho
just a vowel diff,
Can change the "lozy" in a swift.
The Cat can swim,
While the Goat can purr,
Ideal twins with Identical war.
One of white, while one so black
But both can conjure up a slack.
One spit fire while one cook fish
Makes new flavours on the Dish ..........

Answer 10

i don't really believe that anyone really cares if the answers they are receiving are f/ an educated psychologist or the man in the moon. most want to be 'proven' right. they don't want a thought out, educational response that someone put their heart and mind into-they want validation. i appreciate the time and love you put into your answers, so for those of us that want 'answers' please continue the way you are! lot of love and respect♥ditzy!