Need Information To Save My Sister From Getting Hurt By Gay Husband?

Question

Against the advice of friends, family and myself, my sister married a "former homosexual". He said he was saved and transformed by an ex-gay ministry. None of us really bought it but she was very much in love with him and compared to former boyfriends, who were abusive he seemed much more sensitive and giving, despite being just a tad effeminate.

Two years into the marriage, the sex diminishes. I keep quiet when she complains to me. Then this year, he cheated on her with a man. He said it was a "slip up" and has gone back into the ex-gay programme to deal with it. I am trying my best not to tell my sister, "I told you so." because she is really devastated. I also do not want to offend her religious belief but she wants to take him back and I CANNOT watch her get hurt AGAIN! She is my baby sister and now children are involved!

I know these programmes do not change people straight. Where can I get some well researched information on this from an expert she would respect?

Answer 1

http://www.pflag.org/Reparative_Therapy.exgay.0.html

http://www.anythingbutstraight.com/learn/eghistory.html

http://www.uua.org/obgltc/

Answer 2

This is your sisters relationship and not yours, she will make up her own mind. She may already know that he is not going to change and maybe she just loves him so much she wants to stay with him. I am sure he loves her too and does not want to hurt her. I think we are made to be whatever we are whether it be gay or straight or bisexual, but people can make choices and maybe he really wants to choose to stay married and try to be faithful. I hope things work out for your sister.

Answer 3

He sounds more bi-sexual than gay. Maybe she could allow him say...once a week, every other week, or once a month to suck off his boyfriend. Maybe that will be enough to satisfy his c-o-c-k hungry appetite. I'd make him do it at the house, where she can keep an eye on things. Maybe that is all it will take for him to be a caring husband and father the rest of the time.

Answer 4

You really need to keep out of it; no one REALLY knows what goes on in another relationship. She is a grown woman and is making her own choices. When she tries to talk to you about it, just tell her you don't want to hear about their private things and their sex life. It's hard, but you have to let her go. However, advise her to get tested often for STDs and HIV/AIDS.

Answer 5

not sure where to get info but you could help her the best by having her talk to someone who has been through that before

keep pointing out all the things about him and explain to her he will struggle the rest of his life about being gay and straight, he sounds more bisexual

Answer 6

Excuse me, but this is none of your business.
Your sister is an adult, she knew what she was getting into and the risk involved.
What you can do is be there for her, if she comes to you.

Answer 7

Stay out of it. If she wanted to, she would leave. Tell her you don't want to hear her complain because it hurts you to hear how misserable she is and that you can't help. Give her something to think about

Answer 8

Put up anti gay signs in her yard and I cannot believe your sister would marry a gay.....once a homo always a homo I don't care what kind of program he is into.....He should be beat and your sister should screw another man and show the tape to her gay husband

Answer 9

They need to go to a marriage counselor..for them and for him to decide what he wants. She will have to learn eventually and things will play out. They always do.

Answer 10

She would be listening with deaf ears..
She will just have to continue to be hurt
until she gives up and divorces him..

Answer 11

stay out of it , its her problem not yours and a lot of love will be lost if you interfere