What do you think about different last names for your children?

Question

I want my first-born son to carry on my maiden name. But I want to have the rest of my children named after their father. What's your opinion on this?

I want my maiden name to be carried on. I dont like the middle name idea. Besides it would be an odd one for a middle name.

I also want to give them 2 middles names. its sort of a tradition in my family. i dont want them to have 5 names; 4s gonna be bad enough.

Answer 1

Personally, I would not ever think of doing this. Once I married my husband, I took his name forever and ever. All of OUR children will carry OUR last name!

Also, with the world we live in today, once your firstborn gets into school there could be reason for teasing...why do you not have your other family members last name? There are many names I can think of that could be pinned on your #1 if he or she does not carry your family name!

Answer 2

I have heard of some ethnic cultures doing this. Perhaps you could incorporate your maiden name into the entire name, but elsewhere, ie. the first name or the middle? Depending on the name of course! :-) My daughter went to school with a girl who's family mother who chose her maiden to be the daughter's first name--Ellery.
Having different last names will probably make people assume right away your children have different fathers which might cause some issues later. If you are up to the questions or assumptions society sometimes so rudely place on our personal choices...GO FOR IT!!!
I think it is a nice "tribute" to your familial name or legacy.

Answer 3

I dont agree with kids having different last names. My girlfriend has three kids the oldest with an ex and the other two with her husband. The oldest has her maiden name only because the father wont consent to her changing it to the current husbands. She's five years old and doesn't understand why she has a different name then her brother and sister. She wants to have the same lastname as the rest of her family.

Answer 4

If thats what you want but I personally wouldnt do it. Everyone would think they werent siblings, I am surprised his father would agree to it. I have seen a lot of women give their first born son their maiden name as a middle name, this wont carry on the family name when they get married but it is a way to honor your family. It also depends on what you maiden name is.

Answer 5

why don't you just make it one or the other, why name 1 child a differant name than the others. he will always wonder why has a diffferant one from his brothers and sisters and parents last name. for example. my oldest son has my maiden name b/c i was young and unmarried when i had him. i am now 24, engaged to a wonderful man and 29 weeks pregnant with his child. he wants the new baby to have his last name. i am having a hard time dealing with my 2 children having differant last names and i already know it will cause a problem with my 7 year old son who hates his last name as it is. so if i go and change mine to my fiance's last name and name the baby that too then how will my son feel? see what i'm saying, i don't want him to feel left out or anything and i fear that it will cause a problem.

Answer 6

I think that all siblings should have the same last name or they look like they are from different fathers. What I did with my kids is I used my maiden name as their middle name. Both my son and my daughter have that. Middle names are NEVER used, so much that my daughter doesn't even mind having "Edwards" as a middle name! And I would rather they have a meaningful middle name than some name that we used just becasue it "goes" with the first.

Answer 7

Having kids with different last names can be confusing. I have a daughter from a failed marriage with one last name. I took back my maiden name as my last name during my divorce. I have a son from a relationship I am currently in now.

So the three of us have different last names and yes at times it can be confusing. However, my kids have different fathers so that makes a difference too.

Answer 8

I know that most fathers out there want their sons specifically to carry their last names. It is something to do with carrying on the family name and such. It is also confusing for children to grow up together and have different last names while younger. They don't understand and get asked questions at school that they don't have answers for and so they start in on you. I personally go with the KISS theory: Keep It Simple Stupid!

Answer 9

i agree that the kids may find this confussing and he would be something the child would end up explaining all the time. Also if all the children have the same father this son may feel like he is different from the rest of the kids. What does the childs father think about it? I understand the reasoning and it is your child so do whatever makes you happy.

Answer 10

hmm... I dont think its wrong ,but I also think you could be creating a problem for yourself down the road....... If you have other children are they going to feel less loved, I know it might sound weird but kids see things differently than adults. There is going to be the problems at school as well with kids being cruel. Do you think you can handle your kids being questioned every day by other people ? Because I'm sure it will happen. A simple way of of fixing this problem is hypen your last name with spouses. My friend did this ,It is more common to do it this way rather than singling out one of your children for disaster . After all it is all in the name ,as the saying goes!