Am I horrible?

Question

I recently had a romantic dream about a kid that lives in my neighborhood. I’m 24 and he’s prob 17 maybe 18. I know dreams mean nothing but I feel like a weirdo for having a dream about the kid who skates by my house and says hello everyday. I woke up and the song “Ms. Robinson” was in my head.

I interpret this dream as meaning I need to find more fun and excitement in my current relationship. After 6 years things can get a little slow. Am I a sicko or is it normal to have odd dreams like this?

Answer 1

There's absolutely nothing abnormal about dreaming about something like this. There's not even anything wrong with actively daydreaming about it consciously.

If he's 18 or older, and you're not breaking a commitment to someone else, there's not anything wrong with doing anything about it.

The only time something like this becomes "wrong" is if you're:
1) Breaking your vow or commitment to someone else (cheating)
2) Knowingly allowing him to break his commitment (allowing him to cheat)
3) If he's under-age and you're not

Morality is a touchy subject with a lot of people. Just because it's not illegal, doesn't mean that it's moral, but we all need to make our own judgments as to what's acceptable behavior. Dreaming should NEVER be considered an immoral act. If you believe that 6 years is too large an age gap (would you date a 30 year old? Why is that okay?), then ACTING on it goes against your personal morality, but dreaming about it could mean any one of 100 things.

There are people who “fantasize” about things they would NEVER actually do in real life. Maybe it’s having romantic involvement with the hot guy from the gym, or having a 3-way, or whatever. That doesn’t make them immoral or “wrong” – it means that they have a healthy imagination and a good grasp on the difference between fantasy and reality.

Sexual fantasy and imagination should be no different than any other fantasy. I would love to have the force – the abilities of a Jedi Knight from the Star Wars movies. That would be SO cool. I could be like a super-hero, or use it to get a huge promotion at work, or to win the lottery… but it’s a fantasy. I can think about it all I want, or lie in bed at night imagining what it would be like to clear my mind as I drift off to sleep, and that doesn’t mean that I have a tenuous grip on reality, because such things are not possible – it means that I’m using my imagination. Nothing more.

Don’t beat yourself up for having a dream. Don’t even worry if you think about him when you’re awake. ACT in a way that’s in line with your moral belief structure, and behave the way you know to be right, and you’ll be doing better than a lot of people out there.

Answer 2

Look I don't want to sound like a weirdo myself, but the dream you had may not have been a dream at all. It may have been a temptation ( from an evil spirit ) that was presented to you in the form of a dream.
Don't get me wrong though. I'm not juding you. The statute in the state where I live is sixteen, so if an adult has sex with a sixteen year old it is not a crime as long as they both consent, and if two people love each other I don't see anything wrong with it, as long as it's not a teacher and a student or someone in a position of authority using their power to achieve sex with a minor.
However, you stated that you have been in a relationship for six years, and I think you owe it too your partner to be faithful.
If you really want to date other people, then tell your partner so, but just be warned that what you do may have permanant consequences.

Answer 3

18 ok, 17 not.

But you are hardly Ms. Robinson old!!! You are still a kid yourself. 6 years in the same relationship for your age in an acomplishment. If it is just dreams here and there then it is nothing. If the only thing that you can think about is change, then you need to think about making a change.

Answer 4

It's completely normal. Dreams don't often interperet what you would think they would meam. Often romantic dreams do not mean you are harboring feelings for someone or would want to act on it. As for your relationship, if you are seeking more fun in your current relationship then you could work on that with that person. I wouldn't let your dream convince you that you are missing out on anything. I have had romantic dreams about people I would never consider being romantic with. They just might be on your mind for something completely unrelated. It's very common you are not a horrible person.

Answer 5

Actually most dreams are showing you exactly the opposite of what real life will most likey give you.

Since you are lonley your sub concious may have imprinted his image in your memory because he is so nice and kind and you may not be getting that in your relations with anyone.

He might just be a vessel used for your dreams of what might be coming soon, or your mind might be working out the problem of which you speak.

this boy may excite you in a way by showing you the freedom and excitement you had at his age.

I wouldn't worry about it, think of it as a compliment that your subconcious would actually enjoy an encouter with someone so young. Besides your not that old kid

Answer 6

The fact that you feel like a weirdo is proof enough to me that your not horrible. LOL the Ms. Robinson part.

You felt guilt, you are not a pervert, it was a dream. I am not sure about the excitement in your current relationship only you know that but I think its safe to say your not horrible... It was just a dream, what is it they say "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar"

Answer 7

You are not sick or horrible, just a normal, healthy young adult.
It is totally normal to dream that kind of stuff, you have no control over your dreams. It does not mean that you really find him attractive, its just your head sorting through stuff from the day.
P.S. you cant get into trouble for what you dream..... ;)

Answer 8

Unless you feel like this in real life you are not a sicko. I have had way worst dreams than that, And many ppl have. Its up to you on what you think the dream might mean.

Answer 9

It all depends. Yeah, it is illegal to have the relationship with the minor in reality, but what can you do about what you dream about. I guess you are not a bad person, and it was only a dream. So don't dwell on it and try to move on. I dont think you are bad!

Answer 10

Its perfectly normal to have dreams of a weird kind but im a bit worried about this younger one-- personally I wouldn't go there. Hes 7 years younger than you, if he were 7 years older then I could understand the attraction.