not only did she leave my dad, she left him for a woman, so i feel angry towards her for doing that to my dad, and before this i was so cool with gay people and everything, but i feel so betrayed by her gay lifestyle that i am ashamed to admit i feel anger towards lesbians! what do i do, how to deal? has anyone been through this?
2007-03-27 06:29:49 · 20 answers · asked by puppyluv 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Yeah I could understand you being angry at your mom for leaving your dad but have you thought that maybe she was sad lying to your father and who she is. I once left a guy for another girl but i hated lying to myself and my boyfriend.
It hard, i am pretty sure your mom went through a lot of hell coming to the decision she did.
Pleas dont hate her because she wanted to be happy, its probably killing her knowing she has upset you.
Dont be ashamed you feel anger towards lesbians, it'll probably subside anyway, you do have some what good reason to.
You need to think, your mom is happy, your dad will find someone else and he'll be happy and things will be fine soon
I hope this helped
And good luck with the future
2007-03-27 06:41:56 · answer #1 · answered by traven_blood 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry that you feel this way.
Your Mom and Dad split because your Mother had been trying to live a lie. She was confused with her own sexuality and now she is finally facing the truth that her heart tells her is right. You should respect her decision.
You were "cool" towards gays until your Mom became one?
OK...OK...that, young one...is a LIE. That is like you saying..."My Mom was an alcoholic and now that she stopped drinking, I'm not cool with it! and I hate all sober people."
You have two choices in this...
1) move in with your Dad and hate your Mom for being truthful
2) grow tthe heck up and knock that BIG chip off your shoulder and QUIT JUDGING!!!!!! It is HER life.
Your anger is "NOT" because your Mom is a lesbian!!! Your ANGER is because your Mom "LEFT" your Dad and YOU HATE THAT!!!!! Divorce happens for lesser reasons than that, which cause a child to hate a parent. Trust me on this...the day will come when you need your Mom and your rude actions toward her are only going to hurt more when that day comes!!!!
2007-03-27 06:45:03 · answer #2 · answered by mom tree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to look at a bunch of different issues, some you might not like, but are there none the less. For example, perhaps your mother was a lesbian her entire life, but locked away her feelings, married your father, had a child/children with him and got to that point in her life where she needed to unlock her true self.
Also, of course you're going to have that residual anger, you feel that your mother has betrayed your father. This is something you need to discuss with her, because perhaps both of you are hurting, thinking different things and not communicating.
Yes, she is your mother and she is a lesbian. Does this change the fact that she gave birth to you, raised you, cared for you and loves you? She will always do these things and will always be your mother. And, my friend, she will always be a lesbian. When you can, try to support her and love her as she loves you. Remember, one day she's not going to be there.
You have to ask yourself - will I look back, once she's gone, and be glad that I was angry with her? Or will I look back and by glad I was there for her?
2007-03-27 06:50:22 · answer #3 · answered by Zarathustra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm...I'm sorry i haven't been through this and i'm sorry your struggling with this. But as a Christian i know you need to love your Mom and honor her. that doesn't mean you have to agree with what she chose. I don't mean to offend but I do believe the lesbian lifestyle is choice and that it's wrong.I might hazard a guesse that your Mom like alot of other homosexuals is a very hurt person. Personaly as aChristian i have a relationship with Jesus and he's there to help me when i have problems. It doesn't make life perfect, but I know he's there. from the bible i know i need to love homosexuals but at the same time i need to realize that homosexuality isn't God's best. I found a story of guy who had been through this with his dad on the focus on the family website called "my father's closet" by jeremy Deck. I don't know what you believe but Focus on the Family is a Christian organization. Also if you need to talk to someone teen.hopeline.com might help(another Christian site). Hope you find your answers.
2007-03-27 08:08:13 · answer #4 · answered by sunshine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check out Children of Gays and Lesbians Everywhere. It's a resource for people with gay parents:
http://www.colage.org/
2007-03-27 07:01:37 · answer #5 · answered by rgeleven 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well hey, at least she had you before she broke it off with your dad. Would you rather be from a random sperm doner?! She is YOUR FREAKIN MOTHER! You should love her no matter what! You don't have to be totally COOL with it x.x I'd be freaked out too, but c'mon! She raised you, and cared for you since you came out of her, she deserves your love and respect whether you like her life style or not. Enjoy :P Props to your mom.
2007-03-27 06:46:23 · answer #6 · answered by xxx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never been through something like this before. But here is what i think. You are okay with gay people as long as they do not have any relation to you.
Love your mom none the less.
I can only imagine how you feel but at the end of the day she is still your mom.
My father left my mother and that killed me. It wasn't for another man but it hurt me none the less.
I have gotten over it. I am upset with him but we talk. As long as he doesn't try to move back home to cause my mom any stress i am cool.
I know it hurts but you have to move on. May be it is just a phase. Who knows.
Just be there for her no matter what.
2007-03-27 06:38:53 · answer #7 · answered by Osunwole Adeoyin 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Get over it!
Seriously.
She's still your mother and deserves your RESPECT as such!
She has finally allowed herself to live honestly! For the first time in her life!
She has finally realized that living a lie is not only hurtful to her as a person, but by continuing to live a lie, she would only be teaching YOU TO LIE!
What kind of a parent teaches their child to lie?
You need to contact your nearest chapter of PFLAG, get some counseling and get over your anger right quick!
Sure, you can be upset that she broke your father's heart, but not because she's a lesbian.
You can be upset that she left you, but not because she's a lesbian.
What if she had left your dad for another man? Would you be any less upset or hurt?
Would it matter less that it was a man instead of a woman?
You have to ask yourself these questions and find it in your heart to respect her decision to finally live honestly!
Oh, and BTW: I didn't Steal your Mom away, I have been quietly living my life with my partner for the past ten years! I don't even know your mother.
So you have no reason to be angry with me or any other lesbian!
You don't even have a reason to be angry at your mother's partner. She didn't Steal your mother, you have CHOSEN to be angry with your mother.
It's your choice to forgive her, to remain a part of her life, to move forward.
2007-03-27 06:37:13 · answer #8 · answered by DEATH 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Simple really:
Don't confuse your anger with her for breaking up your family, with her having left your dad for another woman.
2007-03-27 06:38:00 · answer #9 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your just embarrassed about what its going to do to your image? Or the image of your father?
Your not gonna date her. Shes a person too and you should support her in her situation. She needs you right now. You have to be there for her.
2007-03-27 07:27:12 · answer #10 · answered by Some Random Guy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋