I confronted my wife about whether she has been cheating on me or not. She became so angry she screamed at me, in such a way that i never dare ask her again. In the past, she has come home late, sometimes with dumb excuses. i let it go, but then i noticed she never wanted to do it with me. i am not a harsh lover, i even learned massage, read books, and even learned kama sutra techniques. Still nothing seems to phaze her. i became suspicious so i just asked her one day are you cheating? That is when she blew up in a rage. so people should a guy like me stoop low and get some somewhere else or just continue not satisfying the natural urges of casual sex with my wife. We have gone one whole month without sex, what gives? i have tryed to get at the heart of this problem for years, but it seems the way she is acting lately that maybe she is cheating.
2007-03-27 05:58:54 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
DON'T stoop to her level! At the end of the day, YOU are the one that has to look in the mirror and like what you see. Be the better person and don't cheat.
2007-03-27 06:03:32 · answer #1 · answered by Pom♥Mom Spay and Neuter 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You seem a little casual about the fact that you think she may be cheating on you ..... why is that ? You want to know if it's ok to just go get some somewhere else ? Of course it isn't ok .... at least not if you value your marriage.
It seems to me there is more amiss here than the issue of not having sex. You can't allow her to disregard you question or feelings by blowing up either. Both of you need to open up to one another in order to get past whatever the difficulties may be.Tell her how you really feel and try your best to get her talking , you need to regain your emotional intimacy. If you can't do it on your own , maybe some counseling could help.
On the other hand , you say this has been going on for years . If all of your efforts fail , maybe there is nothing left to save ? Only you can make that decision.
Take care and best of luck to you : )
2007-03-27 06:26:13 · answer #2 · answered by uncle louie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't cheat on her. You have to be the bigger person. She may not be having an affair anyway. However, guilty people usually become defensive if confronted. Sounds like that's what happened. I would advise talking to her again. No matter how angry she gets. This is serious. You may even have to end up doing some detective work. Women want sex too. Trust me. Going that long without having sex with her husband sounds a little fishy (unless there's a medical problem you don't know about).Good luck.
2007-03-27 06:10:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether she's cheating or not, I'm sure you already know the answer to that..the REAL question.. What would you do if you had a set of testicles? How would you react if you had a pair? Would you be more successful at your job? Would you be able NOT to care about what she was doing because you'd be so busy taking care of your own busy schedule? Would other men at work start respecting you? How would your kids look at you, if you showed some manliness?
I would suggest getting some testicles and then they will take you were they lead, and your problems will start resolving. Or you could remain a snivelling whining sensative 90's gay..I mean ..guy. Women DON'T WANT sensative men, they want MEN! I don't care what they say, they WANT A MAN!! Women that say they want sensative men, also say they want the truth..see what happens when you tell them the truth, then you'll know I'm right when I say they really DON'T want sensative men.
When you get your testicles you won't need to come to this forum to make your decision. Within 3 months of you dumping her AFTER you act like a MAN, she'll be begging you to come back. At that point you can tell her to get back to her "sensative 90's man", because you aren't playing that role anymore.
2007-03-27 06:10:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been told by a professional that cheating on your spouse is not the way to go. If you are wanting to make them jealous because they cheated and you want them to see you cheat to get a reaction it won't work. They are cheating for a reason. They must not love you the same way. I don't believe in divorce unless everything else just won't work. I suggest you try counseling first. If she won't go with you at least go yourself and try and get some help and maybe you can help her to come around to counseling too. But if none of it works then divorce is the only other option.
2007-03-27 06:08:01 · answer #5 · answered by Jenny G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not solve the problem of cheating by cheating. You will have a new problem called lack of integrity. Sounds to me like you are a decent guy that is frustrated. Keep in mind confrontation is never the way to answers. Try approaching your wife with a different attitude. Possibly something else is going on with her.
2007-03-27 07:54:17 · answer #6 · answered by Healthy Lifestyle Geek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend it sounds like you and your wife are having some problems. I don't know if she is cheating, but if she is not wanting to have sex with you, then something is wrong. I suggest you guys have a conversation about this. Ask her why she doesn't want to have sex with you. Tell her how you feel and tell her that you have needs also. My wife and I had the same issues. We talked about it and we worked it out. It took many nights of talking and doing things I never thought I could do, but it worked. My wife and I have a great marriage and sex life. I wish you luck my friend. Remember talk to her.
2007-03-27 06:06:10 · answer #7 · answered by hispanoloco 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ouch! I'm sorry to hear about this. If you really want to know if your wife is cheating you need to catch her. Do some undercover work, follow her. At least this way if you come up with nothing, and know that she isn't cheating there is a different problem that maybe fixed with counseling. Good luck to you. A man that learned massaging for his wife??? Man, I'm impressed!!!!
2007-03-27 06:05:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is cheating...this is how I learned my ex husband was cheating because everytime I confronted him he would blow up. He always had the dumbest excuses and always turned it around on me. If your not sure then try counseling if this doesnt work or she wont go then divorce. This may sound corny but two wrongs dont make a right. Good luck
2007-03-27 07:02:53 · answer #9 · answered by memyslf&I 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two wrongs don't make a right. Take a different approach and figure out what is missing in your relationship that may cause her to stray. Are you drifting apart? Why not surprise her with a bubble bath with candles while you cook a nice dinner. Remind her how wonderful you are and why she married you in the first place.....maybe she will open up about her feelings. She shouldn't get defensive if she isn't guilty....
2007-03-27 06:12:14 · answer #10 · answered by Tangled Web 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋