my husband hates my hobbies and wants me to stop but it makes me and my three kids so happy i coach?

Question

my two girls cheer teams and my son plays football i love it so much but he hates popwarner and says its a waste of time and money i am doing it anyhow but how do i get him to come around he wouldnt go to hardly any games last year at all

Answer 1

Sunbun is onto something when she says make time for hubby...he may indeed be feeling neglected. When I read your question, I see a lot of TIME being invested in your kids. Hey, that's great, that's fine...but not at the expense of your marriage. Your kids need TWO parents, who function as ONE parental unit. You need to love your husband FIRST. I'm not saying neglect your kids; I'm not saying you should choose to save your husband over your kids in the event of a disaster. But you may have tipped the balance too far in favor of the kids. Take care of your marriage!

Answer 2

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Answer 3

What is it he hates about it? Would it be fair to say that a huge amount of your time/attention/money goes to all of this?
How much input does he have into the decisions?

Basically, if you've discussed this with him (calmly, without accusations) and listened to what he wants/needs/thinks (and tried to see his side of it) and you've decided as a couple that this is a good use of the family's time/money, then you remind him that this is a decision you made together and you ask him what's changed.

You can't change his mind if you dismiss what he thinks/feels/needs. Ain't no way. "The kids like it and I like it, so get with the program" is also saying "so what you want doesn't count." There is no way to get from that point to him happily going along with what everyone else wants and ignoring what he wants.

Is it a year-round thing? If not, you might be able to point out that there is balance - we do what the kids and I want March -September, but we'll do what you want October-February, so you come to the games and we'll do "X" that you like.

Your best bet is to get some balance, trade something you want (him coming to games) for something he wants (family time that doesn't involve running hither and yon to events, or whatever).

With everything that their activities teach your kids, your kids are learning something else - from you and your husband. They're learning how to be adults, how to make a relationship work. Those lessons will be important to them every single day.

Answer 4

Screw him! It makes you and your kids happy. He is probably jealous because he wish that it was him that was coaching or having people look up to him like they do to you. And popwarner is the pre curser to high school and, maybe, college football. It is the beginning. This is a love that you and your children share and I think he feels left out because he cannot share that with you. But does that mean you stop? Hell no. You can tell him that he can be a part of it but if he doesn't want to, and you have tried, than, I say keep coaching, enjoy the happiness of your three kids ans ***** him and his disdains for the four of you!

Answer 5

What your children do in school will have an effect on their college applications. If they're involved in sports, at least they're not out learning about drugs! It's healthy physical activity instead of boring computer games!

Who's wasting the time? You, your kids? I think not.

Who's wasting money? If you have happy healthy kids, it's a good investment.

Be lucky that you can coach for them, and be involved. It's not too much to ask him to support his children when they're involved in happy healthy social activities -- he can attend a few games and be part of the family fun. It's not something he's doing for himself, he needs to do it for *them*.

Answer 6

If he has changed his ways, than it would behoove you to try and forgive him. Keeping your family together it better for all of you if you can do it with love and kindness. Try marriage counseling to work through some of your past hurt and pain. As hard as it is, you can rekindle love. Sometimes you just need to walk the walk until you feel the feelings again but they can come back. Try and remember the reasons you fell in love with him in the first place. He has to have redeeming qualities or why would you have married him? If you really can't forgive him then maybe it's time to file for divorce. Your children should not be living in that drama and war field. Unfortunately, love is not a democracy. It only takes one who wants out.

Answer 7

There's more here then meets the eye. You must observe (as I have just from reading the question), that you have not shown attention to your husband. He feels like your not interested in him anymore.

And also, if your son plays football, and is a teenager, how does your husband feel you being around younger men? Do you show more interest in them then you do him?

I bet he is bothered by it. You have to decide, here and now, if you want a relationship with your husband, for wether you know it or not, your not making it number one , like it was in the begining.

Make him your number one man in life, and he will change towards you as well.

Do this if you want to keep him, do this not, if you do not.

Answer 8

If it makes you and the kids happy then by all means dont stop the hobby you love! Why would you? Ask hubby to become more involved with you and the kids. If he doesnt then its his loss but dont let it become yours and the kids loss as well. So stay out there and have fun! God bless and good luck.

Answer 9

let him know how much his son and daughters enjoy them and why he's paying for it, once he knows how happy it makes the kids and how it will make them better in the future he might come around

Answer 10

I wouldn't quit. Explain to him how important it is to the kids and you. If he stills resists tell him to bad you are going to do it anyways and that he needs to get out of his recliner and help out.