I have a daughter with a women i never loved. i now have a son with my wife that is now 1 month old. My wife is upset that she couldnt mother my first child especially my first daughter. And i agree with her whole heartedly. how can i calm her down and make her feel better?
2007-03-27 05:29:27 · 10 answers · asked by Josh W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If your daughter is still part of your life, there is no reason why she cant be a mother to her- at least part time. I'm sorry, but until you can turn back time, there's nothing that you can do about who had your first child. Just tell her to make your daughter feel like a part of the family and it will be like she did give birth to her.
2007-03-27 05:37:13 · answer #1 · answered by heather 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she upset because she wants to be the only mother to your children or because she really loves the child and wishes she could be her mother as well? The point of the matter is, this is the way she feels. She should just be happy that she has a son by you and that her son has a big sister. Grant it, you never love your your daughter's mother, but you do love your daughter and that is the most important thing.
You are with her, you have a beautiful son and she knows that you love her and probably wanted to have children with her. That is all you can do; just love her and your children. She will eventually get over it.
2007-03-27 12:37:00 · answer #2 · answered by uchaboo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your wife needs to love your daughter (especially if you are regularly involved with your daughter) but as for being sad about not being able to "mother" her that is something that will come with time, once the two of them bond.
Keep in mind that the age of your daughter will also dictate how the two of them get along. (you did not mention her age)
But back to your question... How to calm her down and make her feel better?
Sit her down, assure her of your love, the love of your son, the love of your family and that you know that your daughter will love her too.
With your son only being one month old she may be having baby blues etc.
2007-03-27 12:40:46 · answer #3 · answered by Tiffany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a daughter first. I was really wanting a son as well. My husband had fathered a son with another woman and my second pergnancy I had a miscarriage. I was devastated because I felt that could have been our son. But later that year I got pregnant again and ended up having a son. So be happy with the one you have and keep trying for the other. It can happen if God wants it that way.
2007-03-27 12:34:16 · answer #4 · answered by Jenny G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband has a son with another woman and we have two daughters, I feel bad that I did not have a son for him because he is the last one in his line to carry his name and his son does not carry his name and yes I every now and then feel bad for the situation but I love my husband dearly and our daughters are a real good thing for my husband, they really bring out another side of him, and my husband has a really good relationship with his son so I have gotten over it. i can't change what has been done but I feel that I have improved the situation greatly by keeping things open and honest and have never had a second thought about it now. She will get over it just keep the communication line open.
2007-03-27 13:48:19 · answer #5 · answered by bigtrucks4x4s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all...it shouldn't even matter that your 1st child isn't hers biologically. What matters is how she treats her. She shouldn't be upset because that's life. Things happen. It's how we make the situation better that's important
2007-03-27 12:46:57 · answer #6 · answered by The girl next door 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
remind her that this is your daughter too, and you care for your children a lot. and that you're with HER now, not with that woman. shes you're number 1. just tell her the truth.
2007-03-27 12:36:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't calm down motherly instincts.
2007-03-27 12:32:36 · answer #8 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sucks really bad i am always compared to my older sis. like how i need to do better on school cuz my sis got all a's it is bull!
2007-03-27 12:35:23 · answer #9 · answered by army brat 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What's done is done. She needs to get over it. You can't change it.
2007-03-27 12:33:24 · answer #10 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋