Recently I spend an evening with an ex boyfriend watching movies and eating Pizza.We ended up falling asleep and I didn't get home until the next day.My husband immediately assumed I cheated.Where is the trust?I married my husband,there is no bigger commitment I could make to him.Why can't he just believe me when I tell him all that happened was that I fell asleep.I know for a fact that I would because I trust him completely and he's never let me down just like I haven't him.Is this an insecurity or control thing?Why tell me he trusts me when he clearly doesn't?
2007-03-27 05:22:44 · 48 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Rephrasing the question didn't disguise who you are.
I just responded to the same one, you may have worded it
differently.
Get a life.
2007-04-01 02:23:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not trying to say anything bad about your judgement, but in my experience it is never a good idea to do things with your exboyfriend after you are married. If you are still friends with them, then you could hang out as a group. No offense, but the most trusting person in the world would have to question you spending time alone with an ex eating pizza, watching a movie and then not coming home until the next day. Whether you cheated or not is not even an issue here. You have to look at the situation from his perspective. What if you had been the one at home waiting all night for him to come home while he "fell asleep" at an ex's house? Trust can only go so far, I don't think this is an insecurity thing and I don't think its a control thing. Its just a messed up situation. These types of situations usually lead to divorce.
2007-04-02 15:52:58 · answer #2 · answered by Momof4kiddos 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd assume you cheated too.
Where is the trust, you ask? I ask you where is the faithfulness from you? Come on - you fell asleep at an old boyfriend's house? I don't know about you, but most of the time when people fall asleep somewhere other than their own bed they usually wake up after a couple of hours and are disoriented. If you did you should have gone home.
If what you are saying is true, you have to understand that it is hard for him to swallow. I'd have a tough time believing you too.
If you don't want him being insecure don't go out with exboyfriends and spend the night at their house. Duh.
Oh by the way - while you were gone your hubby had an old girlfriend come over. She left a few minutes before you got home. Honestly, she just fell asleep.
2007-03-27 05:26:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Really smart move there. The purpose of watching movies at an ex-boyfriend's home was? Ever heard of a commitment? I personally could let it go if you and a bunch of friends went to the ex-boyfriend's house, but just you? Didn't want to eat pizza and watch movies with the spouse? You would act a complete fool if he pulled a stunt like that and don't say you wouldn't. How did you not let him down? Did you tell him that you were going to the ex-boyfriend's home for pizza and movies, just you and him? Probably not because you would not be asking this question if you did. Dumb move going over to the ex's house, dumber move falling asleep, dumbest move wondering why your husband has a problem with it. Strike 3 your dumb.
2007-04-03 18:55:55 · answer #4 · answered by Solomon Grundy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this an insecurity or control thing?Why tell me he trusts me when he clearly doesn't?
Yes, it is an insecurity. One in which we all share. Is it a control thing?? No, not in the least. You think he doesn't trust you?? He did let you go to this ex-boyfriends house without filing for a divorce. I think that's pretty trusting all on its own. Then you drop the ball. Instead of doing the right thing, GOING HOME, you spend the night. There is no acceptable reason for this. You knew you were getting tired. You knew your had a husband at home who's mind was already thinking negative thoughts about you being with an ex in the first place. How did you repay his trust, you didn't. You betrayed him. You act upset with your husband when you initiated this problem, furthered it by actually going, and lastly maximized it by spending the night.
UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR!! Don't be upset with him, be very disgusted with your own actions and spend a few weeks kissing his @$$ to right your wrongs. He's not the bad guy in this situation. You screwed him over. Period. Deal with whatever BS he dishes out because you've earned it all.
2007-03-27 05:41:12 · answer #5 · answered by b0red2tears 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but did you miss the I'm married, I had movie and pizza with my ex, and oh, by the way I fell asleep until morning. YOU MADAM ARE WRONG. Trust is not something that is just given, Trust has always got to be earned. We don't have to set out to do wrong things but we always have a choice when the wrong thing pops up. First of all when you were getting"tired" you should have gotten yourself up and left. Honestly, I'm confused about the need for you to spend alone time with an Ex, but I'll save that for another time. Stop trying to blame your man, he is human just like the rest of us, and yes we all want to believe the best in our mates but our mates should never place us in a vulnerable position. You need to take a look at your self when addressing this issue and then you need to let your mate know that you understand the emotions you created. You really need to hear this, "YOU created those feelings".
2007-04-03 08:45:11 · answer #6 · answered by Felisha S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I learned from my own experiences. I was divorced and getting remarried. I did get remarried, and at the time, my ex-husband and myself had remained good friends. After I got married, I had to realize that I had a good man and there was a reason that my ex , was indeed my ex. I knew that I didnt want him back, and I love my new husband with all my heart. We have been married for almost 2 years now. I have broken all contact with my ex. You need to make a choice of who is going to be the most important man in your life. Even though you say that if he were the one with the good friend you could handle it, how do you really know how it would make you feel? It is ok for a woman to have male friends, just as it is ok for a man to have women friends, but if you are spending time with a man who you have had a serious relationship with, then your husband has every right to feel upset. You need to respect his wishes, and make the choice soon!
2007-04-03 09:56:08 · answer #7 · answered by jamie c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason he does not trust you with this "friend" is simply because you have not proven yourself to be trustworthy in the situation.
1) He is an ex!
2) YOU fell asleep at HIS house!
3) You don't care about, or respect your own husband enough to end this foolish behavior!
Nothing you are doing is showing signs of a respectable married woman, who deserves to be trusted. There is clearly more to the situation, or you wouldn't be so insistent on keeping the friendship with your ex..
You really need to leave your ex alone, and work on your marriage.
2007-03-27 08:14:36 · answer #8 · answered by arkiegirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A bad turn deserves another,girl! What led you to your ex-boyfriend in the first place? Do you know what you are talking about at all? How would you feel if your husband was to hook up with his ex-girlfriend,eat popcorn,watch movies and 'slept off' at the place.I bet you will be killed with worry at first and then anger after hearing his story,least of all to trust that nothing happened between them!
Well,no one is above any kind of mistake.God help you,so that your husband believes your story,if what you say is true.
But let me advise you,if you love your husband steer clear of ex,they are death!
2007-04-03 08:36:28 · answer #9 · answered by ajoke77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll try to be gentle.
YOU B!TCH !
What are you thinking. If I were your husband I would be tempted to kick your butt ( I said tempted). You are going to have a difficult time convincing anyone that you did not bang your old boyfriend. Its past time for you to cut the bull crap and be married or let the husband go.
You are playing both guys but the husband gets hurt worst.
Do you really believe that anyone is going to buy this line of bull. On the minute chance that it is true it still looks like you are lying to the world. Is this really beyond your understanding
that you are SO WRONG?
You are beneath contempt.
2007-03-27 05:33:36 · answer #10 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why can't he trust you???
Better question - why can't you respect him???
Regardless of what you were doing at the ex boyfriends house, you should have NEVER been there in the first place!!! if your relationship with the ex is so innocent, why wasn't your husband with you??
I suggest you get some therapy!! If you honestly believe that what you did was ok, and that he is the one with the problem, you have a warped sense of reality!!!!
2007-03-27 05:46:59 · answer #11 · answered by Kailey 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋