I guess I should have told the story.... My ex-wife asked for a divorce after 14 yrs of marriage and I eventually found out she was having an affair with my (then) best friend. He and his wife, who had 12yr old twins, also divorced. They married within 30 days of our final divorce decree. Rescently I find out that the person who gave them a place to stay while they were cheating is now living with them due to a pending divorce with her husband. (returning the favor I guess). My 6 year old daughter lives in that house! She is in 1st grade and has an F in math and reading and will be repeating 1st grade next year. I don't feel that she is in a good environment. I can enforce 4/3 (4 days w/ me/ 3 w/ her) visitation...... what I get from everyone on my first question is "what is better for the child?" --I don't feel I am being selfish wanting more time with my daughter. I am remarried and have a 7 year old stepson at home. My daughter is 6. Feel like you are watching lifetime?
2007-03-27 04:36:40 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Reading some of the comments...... I never in 14 years cheated on her, so why does it matter that I got remarried? If the tables were turned and it was me cheating on her I would have been taken to the cleaners and gotten minimal visitation. Why, because she is a woman, is it different? --- Now, what I have to figure out what is best for the wellbeing of my child. It is never brought into consideration what my ex-wife did to her. I have talked to her numerous times about her coming to stay with me more, and she complains that it won't be good for her. I claim that it can't be worse that what she has already done. Her claim is that that is in the past (to make me feel guilty about what I am doing) Example: Right now my daughter is with me every other weekend and every tuesday night. This year out of 50 AR books read with her this school year, I read 40 of them with her. --I understand why men just give up and walk away....... I'm just not that type of Guy!
2007-03-27 05:39:04 · update #1
Been there done that dude. It hurts and it is crazy.
my two cents.....
1st off...inforce your rights and get the 4\3. This is the only childhood you will get to spend with your daughter. Nothing personal to your ex...this is what the court decided was best.
2nd as painful and nasty as it is, get your ex to sit down and figure out TOGETHER how you are going to fix the grade issue. Keep the conversation constructive....... I would suggest turning off the TV for a month, and reading every night. 1st grade is not that important. The learning habits she develops at this age are very important.
3. Stay the heck out of your ex's life. Sounds like a zoo. You can't change it, so ignore it as much as possible and just be a stable caring parent for your daughter.
2007-03-27 04:58:38 · answer #1 · answered by flyfish_777 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. I can see how you would feel uncomfortable with her living situation. It definitely seems a little dysfunctional. If it were my child, I would want as much time as possible. So, I would enforce the 4/3. I would want as much influence as possible and be involved enough to hopefully counteract any negatives from her mother and their living arrangements. However, I would think it would be difficult for a child that age to handle the disruption that a 4/3 split would cause. With that said, I would still take as much time as possible with her and try to help her. It seems what she has now isn't working anyway, if she is struggling that much with school. Good luck to you.
2007-03-27 04:50:49 · answer #2 · answered by Amy27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's not a good environment? Your ex wife is living with her new spouse and they are helping a friend who once helped them. What's the problem?
You and your wife have divorced, and both have remarried rather quickly. You expect your daughter to have straight A's after going through that? Get over it, and get the girl some counseling.
2007-03-27 04:42:23 · answer #3 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It didn't take you long to find a bed partner either. Hopefully you live in the same neighborhood as the ex. And enforce the 4/3 as long as the new wife doesn't mind.
2007-03-27 05:07:45 · answer #4 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do what's interior the ideal interest of the youngsters; no longer what's maximum handy for you and your ex; do you somewhat think of four/3 is sweet for the youngsters? and how long have you ever no longer being that and abruptly you % to "enforce" it.....yeah you're lacking the actual incontrovertible fact that that's all with regard to the youngsters!
2016-10-20 13:12:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that way then by all means do whatever is possible to get your daughter away from that situation. I mean whatever it takes it'll be worth it.
2007-03-27 04:43:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not petition the court for joint custody...one day with u..one day with her....etc
2007-03-27 04:57:32 · answer #7 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
erm confused....
2007-03-27 04:41:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋