Can you really make a bad marriage better?

Question

My husband and I have been together 7 years we are having a bad time right now we want to start over and make ourelationship better starting with a fresh slate.. So my question is if you have tried to fix your marriage what is one thing that has really helped..I know theraphy. But besides that what have you done that has really worked and was did not work.. Thanks so much for your help

Answer 1

Each of you have to be willing to commit to making the relationship work. Focus on the things that you each love about the other. Talk to him about the things that drew you to him, the things that you love .. the memories that you cherish of your times together. Be willing to let him talk to you about work ... and REALLY LISTEN to him, even if what he's talking about isn't about you. Of course the same is true for him ... he needs to listen to you.

Don't bring up hurtful things that have happened in the past. If the two of you want to make things work, let go of any bitterness and/or resentment that either of you hold against the other and move on from it.

Respect and love are the bonds that will bring you two back together and enable you to let go and build something wonderful.

Answer 2

First of all you need to see what is the main problem in your relationship.. Is it money ??? an d your are going to a difficult time rigth now!!! is it sex ??? what is the main problem ??? If there is $$$ you should calm down sometimes is difficult and unexpected expenses may appear but is is not the end of the world also if is sex then see what is wrong with it ..maybe u should make a new routine try new things make it fun or fantasies ... I'm almost 5 yrs married and like all couples we have had our problems the 1st 2 yrs we used to figth all lot because of $$ because it was not enough but we start communicating and see where was the problem we reduse some expenses and increase our savings and the figths were less now we both have a steady job and it is better financually now..then while pregnant I didn't want to have sex I refused but he was patient & understood it was due to the pregnancy after that everything was normal... But we decide to talk things and communicate as much as we can if I don't like something I tell him and also if I do so he can know and the other way around.. I believe communication have become a strong part in our relationship we ofcourse argue once in a while but we don't figth there are 2 different things... so there is not always need fo rtheraphy unless you think you really need it ... But if not just concentrate in the problem and look for solutions to have a better relationship... good luck !!!

Answer 3

I sincerely hope it works for you.

However in my experience the term "starting on a clean slate" has no meaning when people have known each other for a long time (years).

Therapy is good yes and yes it could sort out your marriage, bear in mind tho that it takes two people in agreement for councilling to work. One person on their own cannot make a difference it needs to be both.

However after all this you still have to bear in mind that sometimes no matter what you both may want it might just simply not work at all ever.

All I can really suggest is good communication, love, respect for each other with just these few things it is possible.

Resentment is a relationship killer, so is anger.

Imho the most important thing is to simply listen. Not enough people do this nowadays and its shocking the amount of things you pick up on when you just listen.

Good luck!

Answer 4

It's entirely possible! Don't let yourself get too comfortable (where you show each other your worst side).
Respect,love,communication,support of each other,the same goals. Marriage like anything else has its up and down times. However if you choose to love each other and work together through the hard and tough times you will become stronger and better over time and your marriage will get much better and stronger over time and you will be more in love then you ever were before.

Answer 5

Sounds like the proverbial 7 year itch. I noticed you used the word "WE" when decribing that you both wanted to work on it. That is a great begining! You both recognize that there is a problem and want to do something about it. Have you tried asking each other out on a date like when you first met? Re-learn the reasons you orginally fell in love. You can't have changed that much in 7 years. You must talk and talk and talk and go deeper than you have been going. Be as open and honest as you can be. Hide nothing and give everything. It has to be mutual though. Good luck!!

Answer 6

Yes you can. I have been married almost 8 years and I know what you are talking about.

You have to do the following:

Forgive for the past and be forgivable for yours.
Love. Every day.
Put your spouse first. Kids second. Rest of your families third.
Have sex. A lot. Make a habit to say yes much more often then no.
Occasionally do something wonderful for your spouse for no reason at all, with no expectation of reciprocation.
COMMUNICATE.
Be honest. Be receptive of your spouse's honesty.
Trust. Be trustworthy.
Did I mention love? A lot? Say it a lot. Kiss every day.
Repeat it all until one of you dies, hopefully a long long time from now.

Answer 7

Besides therapy (and make sure you are both comfortable with the therapist or else find another one), be completely open and honest with each other. Go overboard talking about how you feel and pay attention to the other person's feelings. Remember that even if you're not feeling the same way, it doesn't change the fact that your partner has those feelings. Mostly, talk, talk, talk to each other. Good luck!

Answer 8

It takes a lot of hard work, on both your parts.

My wife and I have had issues that seemed insurmountable, but have been able to work through it.

Some was done with the aid of a therapist, some on our own.

Lots of communication, without anger, is important.

All the best.

Answer 9

Are you talking about one specific marriage or marriage in general? If you’re talking about marriage in general, then where do you live? In the U.S. a marriage certainly is not a “of business transaction between the RELATIVES of the partners” If you’re talking about one specific marriage, well...a “business transaction” has NOTHING to do with “feelings or bonding”

Answer 10

THE SOLUTION IS FIND THE PROBLEM AND TALK ABOUT IT. THE BEST THING IS FOR YOU TO TALK. LET EACH OTHER KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. I SENSE THAT YOU TO LOVE ACH OTHER. A MARRIAGE IS AHRDWORK BUT YOU GUYS HAVE HISTORY. I SAY ALL THE TIME WITHOUT THE BAD TIMES THE GOOD TIMES WOULDNT SEEM AS GOOD. YOU GUYS ARE GOING THROUGH TEST AND YOU HAVE TO PAST THEM.