Your in a dedicated threesome. U getup 2go2 work do u ask 1of your partners 2leave the bed 4the sofa.?

Question

Im in a relationship with two girls we are dedicated to one another.

Girls1 is very jealous and she thinks that when she is not aroung me girl2 should not be intimate, were not even allowed to stay in the same bed if Girl1 gets up to go to work.

After the three of us sleep in the same bed all night. Girl1 gets up to go to work, I have to get up and sleep on the sofa.

So girl2 only gets attention when girl1 is around. Me and girl2 are not allowed to cuddle, kiss or sleep in the same bed unless girl1 is there.

Girl1 really likes the both of us and wants to be with us she just doesn't trust me and girl2 alone.

What would you do in this situation because although Im living every guys dream it's not as fun as it sounds.

Answer 1

Well, it sounds like Girl1 is jealous of the time alone and doesn't want to be left out. One question I have is how does girl2 treat you when she has to leave? If it is completely different then you might want to start looking for another girl1. If that is not possible or if you firmly want to stick with the girl1 that you already have then I suggest that the three of you have a serious discussion about this. She's afraid and I think her confidence simply needs boosting.

Answer 2

I would say that your dedicated threesome isn't really working out.

My question that I still have of your scenario is: does Girl 1 get to be affectionate with Girl2 when you're not around. If so, that is not fair to everyone else. She gets to have the best of both worlds but no one else does.

If Girl1 doesn't have anything to do with Girl2 when you are not there it doesn't seem fair to Girl2. She is just kind of there waiting around until the time is right for you and Girl1.

What I would do is find out from Girl1 why she want to be in a dedicated threesome is she always has to be jealous and suspicious. You may find out that she really doesn't.

Answer 3

Perhaps the three of you should have a discussion about the true nature of your relationship. Do you all honestly care about each other equally? If so, then perhaps couple time wouldn't be a bad idea. Woman1 and you can bond, Woman2 and you can bond and Woman 1 and Woman 2 can bond as well. That way each tie in your relationship is being worked on. The stronger they all are, the stronger you three are as a whole.

However, if there are unequal feelings (someone feels more or less for someone else) that can cause a huge problem. That will start huge waves of jealous, pain and loneness. Address this problem! Have a serious talk with each other!

And to everyone who is responding with criticism- Monogamy works for some people, probably most, but what is the harm in three consenting adults doing what they want to do? You all act the way you do because it feels right. Can we really fault anyone else for doing the same thing, just because it isn't "like us"?

Answer 4

Well, first off, I do not think it is fair for others to judge you for how you live your life. You are not disgusting, there are plenty of people in this world in commited relationships like this and I do not think it is wrong if all of you are commited to each other. But it seems that girl number one may not be as into the whole thing as you and girl number 2 are. If this is a commited thing, then that means there needs to be trust between the three of you. Does the same go for her if girl2 leaves? Or if you leave, are her and girl2 not allowed to show affection for eachother? It should not be considered cheating if you are showing affection for someone else in the relationship. I think girl1 is a little too insecure for such a complex relationship, and if she wants one on one commitment without a third party, she needs to find that in someone else. There is a reason it is called a threesome, there are three of you, not just two (you and her) with one on the side sometimes. Good luck!

Answer 5

It sounds as if you and Girl2 have given Girl1 way too much power. Why? Why does she get to make ALL the rules? You three need to sit down and have a grown up talk, at the kitchen table, no interruptions (no cell phones, tv, NOTHING). You and Girl2 need to let Girl1 know how you feel and that she is being unreasonable and extremely selfish. You may want to write down what you want to say so that don't get off track or forget something. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 6

That's not a dedicated threesome. That's one person who has 2 people underneath them, who is able to direct and control their lives. Just like in a "two-some," there has to be some form of equal decision making between all three parties. If Girl1 can't handle that, then the relationship isn't working. You and Girl2 need to express your feelings to Girl1, explain how you feel that it's demeaning for the 2 of you to be dominated, and that part of having a polyamorous relationship is trust and open-ness. It actually sounds like Girl1 isn't really poly, and that she can't really handle the complexity of a three-way relationship. This may just be residual junk built up from our couples oriented culture, but it's something that can't continue in a relationship like yours.

Answer 7

Then you're not in a dedicated threesome relationship. I don't see this lasting too much longer, because girl 1 is too insecure and jealous.
It seems girl 1 is willing to put up with girl 2 because she wants to be with you, but ultimately, she would prefer to have you to herself.

Added: I think girl 1 is afraid if you & girl 2 are intimate in any way without her, you will become more attatched to girl 2 and that would leave her (girl 1) out in the cold. She's afraid you will leave her for the other woman.

Answer 8

Girl 1 NOR Girl 2 should have any insecurities when in a relationship such as this one. And if you can sleep with one and live with both, you should be able to do what you want. If Girl 1 doesn't like it, she can keep searching for her "perfect" threesome where SHE calls the shots...has her cake and eats it too!!! Do what you want. Threesomes don't have a place for insecure, jealous feelings. It's supposed to be fun, not regimented!

Answer 9

Girl 1 should not have allowed that type of relationship in the first place, so I would tell her that you are all in a relationship together and you will not get up out of the bed when she goes to work....Its not like you and girl 2 wouldn't do anything behind her back that you haven't already done in her face.

Answer 10

That's what happens when you turn a fantasy into a reality. It's difficult enough being in a relationship and dealing with the drama with 1 person, but when you're in a dedicated 3, it's just that much more multiplied with the feelings.