i am attracted to my ex still, I sstill feel like its unfinished buissness. I know I am married and will not do anything because i owe it to my husband of fife months. my husband has a really bad temper nd trust issues, i kind of feel like he pushed me into it. i dont want to give up on my marriage but i feel stressed because we fight over the same things all hte time. and i know chances are things with me and my ex wouldnt work out. uis it normal to think about my ex even though im married?
2007-03-27 03:27:20 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the ex was only a boyfriend not a husband. all the people around me are saying i dont look happy, and the more i try to fight for my marriage the harder it is
2007-03-27 03:37:58 · update #1
I feel it is absolutely normal to think about your ex,as long as you are not obsessing about him or using thinking about him to avoid your present problems. I am married to a man that was with his ex for 18 years. I do not expect him to forget her,in fact,I would be a little scared if he did. Then I would wonder how easily he could forget me. You will probably never actually forget him,but the feelings will decrease in time. But,the best thing I have found is to take what mistakes were made in the previous relationships, learn from them, and try to avoid them this time around. Right now,it seems like you might be expecting your new husband to live up to certain expectations that he feels are too much for him to handle. As for having the same arguments over and over, try to figure out why they happen,discuss it with him,discuss,not argue. Let him give his opinion,and try to work out a compromise. Compromise, support, trust and faith are some of the most important things a marriage is built on. Also remember, that without hardsips, we could never fully appreciate the good things that happen. Good luck.
2007-03-27 03:47:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is normal to look back to what you left behind when you are not happy where you are at now. Because when you're not happy, you tend to see what was actually good in the prior relationship. HOWEVER, your husband has some serious issues that he needs to deal with. He has a bad temper which could lead to abuse and trust issues, that will get so old, so fast. Maybe you need a break from both men.
2007-03-27 10:40:27 · answer #2 · answered by Jewel 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Not really. You shouldn't have married your husband if you still have feelings/attraction towards your ex. You shouldn't even date other people if you still feel drawn to the person you broke up with.
I don't blame your husband for having trust issues. Not many people would feel at ease if their spouse is still attracted to someone in thier past.
It sounds like you have more serious relationship problems that need to be worked out. Maybe thats why you are thinking of your ex and if things could ever work out between you two while rejecting your husband.
2007-03-27 10:38:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
As it turns out your husband trust issues appear to be justified. Leave your ex alone and focus your energy on your current marriage. Anger worries me. He needs to deal with his anger. No one should feel threatened by anger. Try and remove as many of the things that you argue about as you can. Some are easy to resolve others take some time. But you must always be moving the ball forward towards resolution. Good luck
2007-03-27 10:37:27 · answer #4 · answered by Devdude 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I think it is normal as long as you don't act on those feelings or attraction. Ur in a committed relationship now. As for the fighting u should talk to ur husband about the problem before the arguing breaks u apart
2007-03-27 12:28:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
No it's not normal but in your case you have too much baggage from your past relationship and that's probably hard to put aside.It seems like none of this is fair to all involved.If you don't think it would work out with your ex, then stick it out and see what happens.Be happy.
2007-03-27 10:55:56 · answer #6 · answered by Pimpstick 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i think its normal to be attacted to other men...but not so much that ur thinking of leaving your marriage...i would have to say that maybe theres some issues that need to be taken care of. Talk to someone...BUT not ur EX... hes gone. out of the picture, for a reason if u remember? keep it that way ,,and work on ur own marriage now!
2007-03-27 10:34:56 · answer #7 · answered by lisa baby... 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Get over the ex... let that part of your life go and start focusing on what you and your husband can do together as a couple.
2007-03-27 10:37:21 · answer #8 · answered by Hi its me again 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It is normal to fantasize about another. Acting on it is the issue. My bf has anger issues has been to anger counseling and he is still the same. He will not change into who you want him to be. So, either work on it or find some1 who better suits you. He will probably always be angry. unfortunately
2007-03-27 10:42:50 · answer #9 · answered by KRAZEDnKONFUSED 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
To answer your question, yes it is normal. However, I wish you were asking how to deal with your situation so that you won't put your marriage at risk and so that you'll find peace of mind.
2007-03-27 10:41:29 · answer #10 · answered by Lucy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋