He wants to terminate his rights, both he and his mom wanted me to terminate and as they said "get rid of this kid"! He also had a party at our house where I found a bunch of stuff including condoms, candy thongs and booze we don't drink! I am hurt beyond belief! I am 22, 12 wks pregnant, am giving my baby every chance. Any advice please?! I am scared out of my mind because this is my first pregnancy!
If he does terminate his rights, does he still have to pay child support? What would you do in this sitiuation?
2007-03-27 03:23:07 · 30 answers · asked by . 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Poor girl! First, if you can support yourself, please do so and forget him! He had no right to treat you like this. If you can't provide for yourself or your baby, try to ask for support like your family, close friends or shelter for single moms. Concerning his wanting to terminate his right, there's no such clause in any law in this planet as far as I know. You can make him support the child by petitioning to the court. The only thing that he could do to contest this is to have a DNA paternity test on your child. Should he be the father, he will automatically be ordered by court to support you and your child. Forget his mom. She's got no right to meddle. Just stay away from them physically so they will not have a chance to hurt you and your baby. Finally, this may be silly to you if you're not religious but a prayer or two would help clear your mind and calm you. Trust me.
2007-03-27 03:35:03 · answer #1 · answered by Mary Josette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to your parents, confess that you were an idiot for ever staying with or being involved with this other idiot. Beg their forgiveness for disappointing them. Keep the baby because you want to. Pull your life together, move on and follow advice for a change instead of making bad judgements and insisting that this reptile was in fact a prince if only every one else knew him like you knew him!
You need the help from your parents, accept it and never get tired of saying thank you for it. You've been screwed over big time by this guy so just learn from it and grow. Let him terminate his rights, get him out of your life and don't look back. Ask a lawyer about child support - this is the kind of guy who is likely to disappear before the first payment is due - and live in Alaska or some other place you'd never find him!
2007-03-31 15:20:07 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he terminates his right he will not have to pay child support. If you ask me you and the baby don't need him around to be happy, think about it he wants you to get rid of the baby and is having parties that sound like he maybe cheating on you to top it off. I was a single parent with my first child and the father was a dead beat also, but I put all my energy into being a good parent to my child and you know what we are great. You don't need to have someone around that doesn't want to be part of the joy and beauty of being a parent. It sounds like you will be a great mother and as long as you are there for your child then your child will have a great chance at a wonderful life. My father didn't have anything to do with me and I look at my mom as such a strong women for raising me by herself I have so much respect for my mom because I know as a single parent she struggled but she loved us. I wish you the best of luck.
2007-03-27 10:36:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me i think that he still would have to pay child support b/c he is the father. I think your doing the right thing. He has no right to tell you to terminate your pregnany. He needs to stand up & be a man. I bet your not ready to have a child either. That baby didnt do anything. If your keeping your baby, your doing the right thing. Hold your head up & keep faith. His mom should be the adult here. She should know that he should be a man & take care of what is his. I have never been pregnant but, i am sorry. Obviously he isnt mature enough to be a father but, that doesnt mean he cant try to be.
2007-03-27 10:32:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry your boyfriend (I hope he's your ex now) is a piece of sh*t. Don't get an abortion because of it though. If you want to have the baby, then have it - countless women have raised children on their own and everything has turned out fine.
I would not close the door on him completely though. Strange things can happen when they realize that this "problem" is actually a baby that they created. Don't hold your breath, but also don't be surprised if when the baby comes, he gets more interested. And if that does happen, despite what nasty things he may be saying now, give him that chance to be a father and do what's right.
2007-03-27 10:31:37 · answer #5 · answered by smellyfoot ™ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't freak out! First of all (even at this early stage) the baby can feel stress form you!
Second- it is a scary thing to go through but if you keep him around it will be worse for you and your little miracle!
Third- surround yourself with people that truly love you...(parents,siblings,friends)
Fourth - talk to a counselor, call a hotline they can usually find #'s local to you.
Fifth- his mom acts like that because apparently she thinks her son is immature..even if she won't admit that. He is probably immature because obviously she condones her child's tantrums (even in his 20's).
Sixth- you could be 40 and having your first..you learn as you go- nobody's READY!
and last...the court will not "let him sign off" just cuz he says so...he is going to be held financially responsible no matter what!
This indicates he doesn't really love you..he would be supportive and try to work through this together if he did. After all..you would've never walked out on him, would you?!
Steer clear of him and take care of the helpless one; not the 22 yr. old selfish jerk!
2007-03-27 10:38:26 · answer #6 · answered by Rebecca A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would cut him loose and raise my child on my own. I know that sounds really easy for a stranger to say, but I was also a single mom for the first nine years of my sons life. It is far easier to raise your child with your love, than it is to have some jerk in the picture. If he signs off his rights, he can still be compelled to pay child support by the court. They may ask that he submit to a dna test to prove he is the parent, but after that the court may say although he wants nothing to do with your child, the child still needs the support of both parents.
2007-03-27 10:27:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that he's scared to death as well and is acting out. I also feel that you know what his decision is right now...he doesn't want a child. I think that you should respect what his decision is and don't expect anything from him. If he's saying that he doesn't want anything to do with the baby and you want to have the baby I wouldn't pressure him into seeing the baby or anything like that.
I don't know if he still has to pay child support or not. You might want to call a social service agency to help you with that. Good Luck with everything.
2007-03-27 10:30:16 · answer #8 · answered by ljoc421 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In California he can't "terminate his rights". I've never heard of that anywhere! He is the father. I believe he is responsible for child support until the child reaches 18. I would suggest you get rid of him, or get away from him now. See a lawyer or legal aid. You can get help from many sources (without abortion!) to get this jerk to be responsible for his action (to grow up and act like a man). Hang in there girl and God Bless you!
2007-03-27 10:35:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't want anything to do with the baby, then let him give up his rights. He will still have to pay child support, and trust me, it will be better in the long run. If he has rights, and later on you decide to get married and your new husband wants to be the baby's daddy legally, he can't. Also, if he has rights, then if he sees you to be an "unfit mother" he can legally try to take the baby away from you. If you get him angry or anything he could try to do that just to be a jerk. I think you're better off without him. Good Luck!
2007-03-27 10:29:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋