I am 19 and thinking about adopting a baby.?

Question

I am 19 years old. I have worked with kids since I was 12. I currently work at a daycare and I am going to college to be a teacher. I know I don't have all the money I should but... I dont know. I really want a baby. I know that I wont have enough money to raise a baby, pay car insurance, pay health insurance, and keep my baby healthy. I dont know what to do. I have looked into adopting a guatamalan baby and it is a possibility but it costs almost $30,000 which I have but I dont want to use all of it to adopt a baby. There were suggestions on how to raise the money which I think I could do. But more about me. I am 19 years old I still live with my mother and my sister. I am going to a local community college to finish my basic courses and then I'll move on to another college in a year which is also local. I really want to be a mom but I dont know what I should do! HELP!

I have looked into it and at 19 I can legally adopt a baby. I would still get the home study and it would be ok that I do live at home. I have already looked into it. I've wanted a child for about 3-4 years now and I am really sick of waiting! I know of people that have had children at 19 and have made it perfectly! I know that it will be very hard at first. Trying to financially keep everything ok. I make $12,000 a year currently. I am working on getting more hours at my job plus I have over $50,000 in the bank that is mine to cover my college tuition. I only have another year at the community college that I have to pay for. Then I go to a regular college that my mother works at and I go there for free. So I do have some money and I could make it work but it would be very tight. I can not move out of my mothers house until I graduate or I have to pay for my tuition. As for the puppy/kitten comment I have 10 dogs at my house that my sister and I care for.

Naive? No I raised a baby for 6 months for a friend. I cared for her solely. I have thought about the childs needs. I have thought it out financially on how I could financially do this. While still giving the child what it needs. I would never go on welfare. I come from a fairly well off family and I know that they would never allow me to go on welfare. I am not saying I just want to do this then have my family support me. That is not at all what I want. And it also is not all about what I want either. Do you guys know just how many children there are out there that dont have parents? At the very least my child would have a roof over her head, clothes, food, a bed and all the necessities for raising a baby (which I know is a whole lot!!) and a lot of love. My baby would always know that it is loved. I know I sound selfish I really am not doing this out of selfishness. I want to help some poor child out there that doesnt have any parents. I want to give them a chance.

Answer 1

Definitely wait until you finish school! It does sounds like you would be a great mother, but you should experience life a little more before you have a child, that way you can bring to your child the life experiences you have learned. You have just become an adult yourself! Experience that world a little bit because you won't be able to once you have a child around!

Answer 2

Adoption is a noble cause, and is usually a wonderful thing for the child being adopted, but no offense...you're still just a child yourself.

I know you're probably saying that as a 19 year old, you are already an adult, fully capable of making your own decisions, etc. For the most part, this is true. But, it would be foolish of you to abandon - or even overly burden - your studies in order to care for an adopted child.

Take it from me, children are a blessing, and I highly recommend that you do have one (or more) eventually... just not right now. I was a little older than you, AND in college, when my wife and I had our first baby. While my son is the single greatest joy of my life, I still had to struggle to finish school and build a family at the same time. Now, several years later, I've pretty much abandoned what I went to college for and am a full-time writer. I also get to stay at home with my son nearly each and every day, and am living a life that many people dream of.

...get your education first. Then find someone you want to marry. Marry that person & populate the world with however many children your heart desires! (Raising) children is not a priority right now in your life, but when you have one they'll easily take priority over anything else you may decide to do. Keep your priorities straight, and you'll eventually make a great mother!

Answer 3

Just because you know how to care well for a baby does not mean you should have a baby yet. If you have a baby, then you must make solid and mature parenting decisions. The best parenting decision you could make for any child right now is to not adopt some kid when you do not have the right resources to take of them.
When you adopt, it has to be right for the parent and right for the child. Neither of these is right for your circumstances at the moment.
Take heart, there will always be children who need you, but you are doing an ugly thing to a baby if you cannot afford to look after them properly. These poor kids already have a hurdle to overcome.
They are people, not pets.
I suggest you get a pet instead, and give it all the love you have right now, and know that a pet is what you can afford at this time in your life.

Answer 4

It's normal for women to go through 'clucky' cycles, it's based on hormones. Although intense now, this phase will pass.
At the moment, you are being selfish, thinking about what you want and at no moment considering what a child needs. Although you have at least recognised that you can't afford a baby.
You still live at home, first you need to become independent and learn to look after yourself, before you can even consider a commitment that involves looking after a child. Once you live on your own and pay your own bills, you will most likely find there's not much left. If you had a child, how would you support it, on welfare??
You have no hope at all of adopting as a single 19 yr old, even if you could raise the money. This is to protect the child, as at your age, and being single, you cannot offer a child the secure, loving home which it needs. Especially on welfare.
Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I am being realistic here. You are emotional, hormonal and naive.
Finish your studies, get some financial security and find a partner to help you raise the children you crave. Being a single parent is not easy and also not fair on a child if you choose that option for purely selfish reasons.
I am fairly confident that once you start working and being independent, you will find the fulfillment and happiness that you seek. In the meantime, learn to stand on your own two feet first and get yourself a pet. If you aren't home much, try a cat.

Edit:
You have 10 dogs??
That shows that you're not responsible, as 10 dogs form a 'pack' which is very dangerous, especially for a baby!! At the very least your baby's life would be in danger. Check out the site below for some tips on dogs and children, if you research further into the site you will read some eye-opening statements about pack behaviour and the dangers.
I don't think you understand just how expensive it is to have a baby, just in the first year alone it could cost you at least
$10 000!! The costs continue, and if you return to your studies and work, who will look after your child?? Also you need to consider the costs, and effects, of child care.
You may very well be legally allowed to adopt a child, but most adoption agencies would not let you. As you can gauge by the reaction in this forum alone, the general concensus is that you are not able to support a child at this stage and you should finish your studies first. Living at home will definitely not meet adoptive regulations, as you cannot show you can support yourself, let alone a child.
I am somewhat sceptical of your claim to have looked solely after a baby for 6 months. a) you live at home and b) how did you go to school / work?? c) How did you finance this?
I respect your wish to help a child, but you need to attain some independence and continued financial security before you should even consider this further. $50000 may sound like a lot to you, but we earn more than that every year and still struggle. Get your education sorted first, get yourself in a good financial position. Then, when you can really offer a child something concrete and stable, you can still look at the adoption issue. But you need to do this the right way.
If you have made up your mind, go ahead and try to adopt. Realistically, any reputable child adoption agency will refuse your claim. A desperate teenager, single and studying whilst living at home with limited savings does not qualify for good adoptive parent material. There is more to being a good parent than feeling clucky. And with 10 dogs?? Good luck.

Answer 5

Your desire to adopt is certainly an admirable one but if you wait until you are finished with college you will be able to offer much more to whatever child you eventually adopt. As an adoptive mom of 5, I can tell you that it takes a lot to raise a child. It's a full time job and then some. And while you sound like a very mature 19 year old, there are some things that only time can teach you. If you wait until you''re a bit older and more established in your life, things will go much more smoothly-for you and your baby.

Answer 6

Being 19 + not being done with your education + baby (either adopted or biological) = recipe for being broke-down poor for the rest of your life.

So first off, relax. You have *plenty* of time to start your family. It's commendable that you want to adopt, and I support your choice, but give it a few years... once you've finished school, you probably *will* be able to get a good job and pay for the kid (and you might at some point in your education meet someone who would be a good partner, another key ingredient to raising a kid). In the mean time, may I suggest a kitten or puppy? Or volunteering with Big Sisters or another equivalent organization.

Answer 7

You might be legally able to adopt a baby, but my guess is your application would be rejected. They can turn you down for many reasons, including a lack of a credit history, not owning or renting your own place, or inadequate income. They do not approve anyone who applies. So maybe just knowing that adoption isn't a possibility right now will help you push back your feelings a little bit.

I think it is wonderful that you want to adopt and that you have such a calling for it. Unfortunately, just like many things in lfe that we WANT, we have to EARN them. I wanted a nice house when I was older, so I had to work really hard to get it. It will be the same way for you to get your baby. You will have to finish your degree and get a job that will cover the adoption expenses, plus allow enough for basic costs of living. You are totally on the right path now, but just like any dream, it has to come in time. And your question itself recognizes that as much as you want it now, now isn't the time.

I wish you luck in your journey and hope you get to the point were adoption is an option for you very soon. And trust me, I know how hard it is to wait. I have been trying to have (or adopt) a baby for 8 years and it is just finally happening. Waiting sucks, but in issues as important as becoming a parent, it is worth the wait.

Answer 8

Hun this is just your clock ticking, it is natural to want a baby, but if you really think about it, and its looks as though you have.... you said you wouldnt be able to afford to raise a baby, would you want your child to be brought up in an environment that can't afford it, which then causes stress, then negativity towards that child???! Wait it out, talk it out more. You are still young and if you really love kids you need to try and borrow one for a week or so, and see if you still feel the same lol, even though it wouldnt be a fair week, since you know you can return the kid soon lmao

Answer 9

Honestly..you need to wait. You should make sure that you have enough money to at least support the child. It's hard and stressful being a mother and you don't need the added stresses of money weighing you down. Maybe wait a year and have a plan laid out so you know more about it going into it and maybe even have a place of your own. Good luck and I wish you the best!

Answer 10

OK well first you aren't old enough you have to be 25 and living on your own and financially well set. good job decent home. you have to have several home studies done and while living with your parents you dont qualify. why dont you focus on school and in a few years get married that is also against you most countries wont allow a single parent to adopt get married and get pregnant