My wife thinks it's dirty?

Question

Hey. Let me start by saying I love my wife and respect and value her as a person and a human being. We are both Christian. I think she is beautiful, intelligent and special. I would do anything for her. I love to look at her. All parts of her. The problem is she thinks it is dirty that I want to, for the lack of a better way to say it, go down on her. I don’t think it should be considered dirty. I mean like I want to enjoy her. I like looking at all of her. Every part of her. She has let me do it in the past a couple of times but refused to kiss me and said it was gross. I said I don’t have to do it if you don’t like it. I feel really bad and guilty that I like to do this but can’t do it with her. I have considered suggesting that we see a sex therapist but am pretty embarrassed about bringing the matter up b/c I think she would be mad and maybe hurt. Has anyone been to a sex therapist? What’s it like? What kind of stuff do they talk about? Should I drop the whole thing?

If she doesn’t like it, then there’s not much I can do about it. I was just trying to give her pleasure.

Answer 1

If she's uncomfortable with it, then you wouldn't be giving her pleasure. It sounds a bit like you really want the pleasure you get yourself from doing it. Going to a sex therapist would then be just trying to make her let you do what you want to do.

If it gives you pleasure, then perhaps she could let you do it on occasion, and you could respect her wishes for you not to kiss her after. But understand that she would be letting you because you enjoy it, and don't expect her to enjoy or want it. That wouldn't be fair. I'm sure you would be more than willing to return the favor of her giving you that type of pleasure by doing something for her that she actually DOES like.

Answer 2

It's crazy how women are so different. I WISH my husband would do that to me more often. He hardly ever does it but I go down on him all the time and that's ok. I must say that at first I was uncomfortable with it because I am a very shy person in the bedroom (even with my husband) but as things go along, the kissing, the touching, I just give myself to him and let him do what he feels. So maybe you just need to get her more comfortable. If she doesn't want you to kiss her after that, then just do THAT. Just please her for once and see how that goes. I bet she will let you do it again!

Answer 3

Don't wast the money at a sex consular .
Take it slow for as much as you enjoy it back off and only do it when she allows and then don't kiss her but maybe kiss her ever where else she needs to realize the beauty of love making in its different forms the book of Song of Solemn says the hole body is for each other as the Maker made it .
talk to her about it but not forcing your ideas it will turn with time to care more for each others needs wants and desires .

Answer 4

You will be wasting your time going to a sex therapist for this.If your wife does not like it and she feel's that it is dirty then you just need to respect the way she feel's and leave it alone.Not everyone enjoy's oral sex giving or recieving it is just a matter of personal preference.

Answer 5

If she feels this is dirty then do not force her to let you do this. Let it go as she may really feel it is dirty. Respect and love her for how she feels. As long as she has regular sex that is a good thing right?

Answer 6

Realize that this isn't something she appreciates and there should be no ill will between the two of you. That isn't the end of the world, you still have someone to enjoy life with, ok.

Answer 7

a lot of women are uncofmortable with this, so just think about that way, she is not comfortable with it but one day she might be, so wait until she wants you to do.

Answer 8

u dirty sod