My husabnd does not no if he is still in love with me?

Question

My husband and i have been together for 3 years and married for one, we have been throught a lot of stress recently and been fighting alot we lost our jobs and our house and had to move in with my parents we have a 2 year old daughter. He has been going to school trying to graduate we had to sell our car so we have money so he feels like hes not a man anymore, He had a hard life growing up and he keeps everything inside and wont talk, he told me he does not no if he still loves me because all we do is fight and he has so many problems with in him self he wants to work out. but he still stays with me and we act like we are still married except he wont tell me he loves me he just says he feel a little bit coming back and we still make love. I dont no what to do I love him I am devstated and i pray he finds happyness and could let me in again. what should i do!!!

Answer 1

Oh hun. Hes going through so much right now. Dont worry he still loves you.

But you need to do some steps to make it get better, before he slips into a greater depression.

First off, you need to stop making love with him. Because then you are becoming a sex object, and you shouldnt want a loveless sex life with the man your married to. So you need to stop it.

Secondly, you need to start talking about the future with him. Right now all he sees is that he cant support his family, and is living with his wives parents. You need to start talking about after he graduates, and you have a your own place. Talk about things he wants, like I dont know. Tell him once he graduates things are going to be so great, your going to be able to get a new car that he can show off to all his friends, or a nice big screen t.v. so you guys can cuddle like you used to.

This will let him see light at the end of the tunnel. Just dont make it like oh I wish we had this, your not doing it. Just make it like things arent always going to be this bad. Once he graduates he will have a great job, and things will go back to how it was.

Other then that all you can do is treat him like the man of the house. Not your father. You may want to tell this to your father before hand. But I mean when he comes home, wrap his arms around him and tell him thank you for going through all of this. Your guys future is going to be so great once he finishes school, and he could easily drop out and get a job and you guys struggle for the rest of your life, but be able to live on your own. But instead hes looking ahead a few years and doing what is best for your family. And that makes him more of a man that anyone else. (It may sound corny but men need to hear it). Bring him a beer, and let him relax like you would if he was working all day. Make him feel like he IS doing something for the family.

I am not trying to jump to conclusions. But it sounds like you guys got married and had kids young? This happens to alot of men that get married and have kids young. They feel like they gave up their life. And they see all the guy friends who can party and drink, and have cars and PS3s because all they have to do is worry about themselves.

I am sure it has nothing to do with his love for you. He just sees it in his mind that he had a kid and married you and now his life is over.

Maybe you could also offer him going out with the guys every so often. And maybe bring the fact up that I mentioned before. Ask him if he resents you for your guys life, and ask him if theres anyway you can fix it.

You just need to remember, so you can be strong for him and your family. That its not that he doesnt love you. Hes going through a difficult time, and unfortunately you have to be victim of his problems.

Answer 2

Your husband & you both have a full plate. Do all that you can to keep your husband's morale up. Try not to get into arguments with him, because the last thing you need is to be fighting all the time, especially since you have a two year old who will pick up on it. He's got problems within himself & he needs to deal with those issue as well. He can only take so much, just like you. Just be there for him & give him time. Don't be waiting daily for him to say he loves you. I'm sure it will come in time. I'll bet as the arguments decrease, the better things will be between the two of you. Make him feel special everyday & you'll be glad you did.

Answer 3

You both have been under a lot of stress. Going back to live with your folks definetely hits his ego hard, knowing that he cannot be a good provider he feels less than a man.

For a man IS important being able to provide for his family and give them a proper place to live and to put food on the table. You should accept his feelings even if you don't understand them.

My suggestion to you is to give him PEACE at home. Do not nit-pick on everting just because you are frustrated about your situation. He is frustrated too and has the pressure of all of this responsability and being unable to properly care of you.

If he finds solace and peace at his studies rather than home, then this is a big problem. You should make him want to come home because it should be his happy time of the day. Please, do not overwhelm him with bills, honey-do lists, complaints, arguments etc. I'm sure that he dreads coming come to sour faces and complaints....You should give him comfort and support instead. He needs that now.

I know that this is hard considering that you are under your parents roof, but try to make him feel like a man, treat him like a king, compliment him, strike his ego, tell him how much you appretiate his efforts and sacrifices. He needs it now. Reassure him that you have what it takes to endure the hard times and that you will be patient and understanding.

Good luck

Answer 4

Every marriage goes through hard times. Sounds like you have had your share of a hard road. Give the guy some credit at least he is not looking to mooch off your parents. I would be encouraging and give him some space. Things will turn around. Try not to argue I am sure you both are under allot of stress with all going on. Good Luck

Answer 5

Right now is tough you need to build him up he is feeling less a man.
You need to tell him how proud you are of him how happy you are to be with him and try not to argue
you need an outlet you two should try taking a walk together and working off some of that stress
hug him as much as possible
he is feeling very low and does not understand why you still love him and are around him
tell him he is the man for you
Stand by your man :)

Answer 6

I think you just have to be patient with him. Wow...you guys have been through a lot in a short period of time. Somebody told me we my 1st husband and I were struggling that if you think about what made you love the other person and start acting like you are in love with that person, it won't be long and you will be back in love again. Keep telling him that you love him and try not to focus on his lack of reciprocation. Try to do small things together....it can be packing a picnic out of stuff you have at home....sandwiches, chips, soda, etc. and going to the park or the lake to eat it. It doesn't have to be extravagant, but what it does have to be is alone time for just the two of you. View the future in a positive light. If you can see the two of you succeeding living out the rest of your days together....then you will.

Answer 7

Keep reminding him that the two of you can make it through together. Remind him that supporting a family is not what makes a man.

One thing that the two of you need to do is to work on stressful issues together. Fighting will not make the bills go away. Work together to resolve issues and keep your calm.

He does love you. He is just so worked up inside and feeling so out of control that he is imagining all of his responsibilities as disappearing. The best thing you can do is to remind him that the two of you are in this together. He does not have to bear this burden alone.

Take care,
Troy

Answer 8

THat is a lot of stress to be dealing with - there's no doubt that it'll affect your relationship.

Give him some time to get a grip on all of this, support him, try to talk to him occasionally - but don't harass him, and do your best to avoid the fights right now.
It may be that he wants out or it may be that he just has so much to deal with that it's clouding his feelings right now. Obviously you can't go on like this forever but a little time to regroup is probably for the best.

Answer 9

If he is in school, it's possible the school offers free counseling. I'd say if you can get it, take advantage of it. Also, try to get a job if you can. You might even think about selling stuff on auction sites if you have computer and Internet access (you can even canvass the thrift stores for nifty items to sell - on the weekend - then spend the week selling them online).

Don't fight in front of your baby! Good luck! :)

Answer 10

He feels alittle bit coming back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Honey .... move on. he doesn't love you . He just likes sex w/ you and he feels obligated to the kid ... Wake up . Move on. Hes lazy as a husband . If he wanted to provide for you he would quit school for the time being only & get the income to provide for you & your child!! Hes taking the easy way out!!!! Get out now. Get on your feet get a job and let your parents help you w/ day care! he sounds so selfish!!. When the going gets tough he looses love for you!!!!! You need a whole different aproach to your marraige. For starters get someone who adores you!