2007-03-27 02:22:26 · 16 answers · asked by ffmarine88 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok, no one is understanding, things have been rough for the 5 years and i dont want out because of my kids but how do i go about this just stick it out and deal with the bullshit? b/c i have kids???
2007-03-27 02:30:25 · update #1
Every marriage has b/s. But you need to decide whether your marriage is worth fighting for or if you're just going to walk away because you couldn't handle something. You should never stay in a marriage for the kids. They don't need to hear the b/s either. But if you want to work it out, get into marriage counseling, but only if you really want to. If not, then you're just wasting everyone's time and your money. Nobody said marriage was easy. It's very hard at times. Good luck.
2007-03-27 03:21:32 · answer #1 · answered by 2Beagles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've been married for 5 years and have kids it's a bit late to wonder if you made the right commitment. You did make a commitment when you got married you know - did you think it was just a good party?
When you get married to commit to that person for the rest of your life.
If your partner is cheating on you, beating you, abusing you, spending all your money on whiskey and donuts then you've got a case to wonder if you are in the right marriage - otherwise - stop wondering and get on with it.
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Your question didn't really give much detail to go on and sounded kind of flippant.
If things have been rough maybe you want to consider some kind of marriage counselling or therapy. You owe it to your kids to try to work things out. You need to be able to say 'we gave it our best shot' and didn't just walk away because it got hard.
It does sometimes happen that difficulties get sorted out and the relationship becomes stronger because of what you went through together.
Do try to stay together, but not if you are arguing and shouting all the time as that will be so much worse for the kids.
2007-03-27 09:29:46 · answer #2 · answered by Skidoo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In any marriage you'll have what some young couples call BS , but you should try to work out the issues before giving up completely. Stress is a big issue with small kids. They do get older and the stress becomes easier to handle. Try to express your feelings and not bottle things up inside. Maybe let a family member babysit for a weekend so you two can spend some time together as a couple.
2007-03-27 10:09:27 · answer #3 · answered by Hi its me again 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, sticking it out without any change is not the answer. If you want to do anything for the kids, then having them exposed to a good atmosphere is far better than bad feelings running rampant in the house.
Decide if there is enough of the marriage to work on and save through counselling with your wife and then if you really feel that you must move on, do it. It's not fair to anyone to stay in a relationship that isn't a good one.
2007-03-27 09:43:14 · answer #4 · answered by chicchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you still love them??? that is the big question, I have been married for 4 1/2 years and we have 3 kids together all 3 and under and we still try to make time for each other..
2007-03-27 09:26:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody ever really wants to try counselling for many reasons, and being in your position is sure a awful place to be. It sounds to me that if things weren't so rough that you wouldn't be opposed to sticking together. I really do think its best for kids to have their parents together if its possible (not, judging, I myself have been divorced and now remarried with step-kids and 2 sons, one from another relationship). When my husband and I were having a rough patch I found this website: http://marriagemax.com/mort-fertel.asp You don't have buy anything to get the daily newsletters for free (and it really helps get things in perspective). And you can make things better without even including your wife in this journey. (Although things would move quicker if she was onboard.)
Good luck to you!
2007-03-27 10:37:43 · answer #6 · answered by bunnyblum in FL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Examine what you call bull. Being married for five years should be applauded. Start from scratch. Obviously you have an issue you are not communicating clearly. The beauty of life is that nothing stays the same. Try changing yourself. You will be amazed how another might respond.
http://www.predator-awareness.com
2007-03-27 10:03:58 · answer #7 · answered by Healthy Lifestyle Geek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I been married for 9 year now and i have gone though it all from my wife 4 years of depression to emotional cheating and her best friend moving out of state and we have a 7 year old son . an i stuck with her and she stuck with me. the one thing that keep are marriage going is we talk and compromised on everything. now after all that hell that i been through my marriage is stronger then ever and life can be any better. forgive and forget
2007-03-27 09:33:21 · answer #8 · answered by celticdragon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's an easy decision - you have kids, and it is your responsibility to give them security and stability that they can only get from a family with both parents. You just suck up your troubles, deal with them, be a man and support your wife and your kids. Get counselling if you need it, it can help a lot. Don't be selfish and bail.
2007-03-27 09:53:16 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the relationship is that bad, you are setting a bad example to your kids that this is how a marriage is supposed to be. Better to be apart and be emotionally happy than with someone and be miserable.
2007-03-27 09:41:38 · answer #10 · answered by Jewel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋