How to heal a broken relationship?

Question

I've been in a relationship for 10 months now with someone I love dearly. The first 6 months were extraordinary, but the remainder 5 have been truly challenging. I know in my heart that he loves me, on many occasions he had a chance to affirm it. Yet, I feel like we both made a mess of things and today we find ourselves in an unhappy and broken relationship, where everday there is an argument or misunderstanding over something. He blames himself for it and I do the same. We're also angry towards one another over the way we hurt each other.

I love him a lot and I would like our relationship to work out, but I don't know what to do anymore. I've took a break for one week to think, given him some space. I also try to communicate, but everytime we do it seems to escalate out of control.

Answer 1

Some relationships come really easily to us, which is when we realize we were better off friends, and the toughest turn out to be the best.

I'm not sure what you and your boyfriend did to hurt each other, but what I do know is that trust and honesty go a long way. If you and your boyfriend are willing to sit there and talk it out without anyone getting offended or hurt, you two will see that your honesty and attention to each others feelings is worth it.

My girlfriend and I have had our moments. Most fresh relationships have theirs. She was deployed to Iraq for a long year and in that year we both lost hold of each other. We both made our mistakes and when she got back, it was up to us to try this relationship again. You have to ask yourself first if your relationship is worth it.

If you answered yes, then go forth and work things out. Don't take no for an answer. You love your boyfriend so much, and you know he's worth it!! I know that some men don't really like much talking. So I always seem to face a challenge to offer advice to men, knowing this.

Try to find out what it is bothering him without directly asking him. Maybe he feels a little left out? Maybe he's jealous of someone in your life?

In every relationship, we all need to feel #1. In a relationship where one has cheated, a person needs to feel completely reassured that it won't happen again.

I don't know if that was the case between you two, but whether it was or not, reassure your boyfriend that you love him and that he is your #1.

Don't let either one of yourselves take the blame for the arguement or misunderstanding. I used to do that all the time and I've grown out of it. Make some time for yourself and re-evaluate your arguements. Try to find the root of the problem. There might be another reason as to why "that laundry is bothering you."

Once you realize the root, try and fix that. Talk to your boyfriend and don't let things get out of control. He cares about you as much as you do for him.

Good luck!

Answer 2

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Answer 3

I guess the key is what happened after the first 6 months - Something must have triggered the change and it must not have been addressed at the time adequately. If you can address the original issue without causing some new wounds, then do so. The only other alternative is to put the past in the past and both of you resolve to start over, key word being both. In order for the relationship to work, you will both ahve to work at it. Good luck - the best relationships are those that stand the test of time by working thru issues.

Answer 4

since you two love each others so much so why not give a try once, twice and even more. as you mentioned there's always a blame from ur side or his this means that you two care about each others so much. just try to figure out where the problem resides and together work on solving it. relation is about compromise and sacrifice. accept the other as he is coz no one is going to change. so if on the long term you find his character so hard to deal with you better get a space, may be for ever. after all i advice you to start a new page, a new tomorrow full of hope...

Answer 5

Such is real life; the Honeymoon is over and you're having to work at it now.

If everything you each try to do just winds the other up, then perhaps this week's reflection will prove to you (both) that you are not ready for each other - even if you are right for each other.

I suspect that it is time to move on. Love is also about letting go for the better.

Good Luck.

Answer 6

you say what most people say,i know how the other person feels,well part of that is wishful thinking to assure oneself of their present status with a partner. do you know if he washes his hands every time after takink a ****? you both need to pose questions to each other don't answer them ,but stay away from each other as long as possible,no communication at all except spiritual if there be a link. you both may be going through fearful feelings of losing a lover that you got droped feeling.come together and agree to be apart,see where it takes you. most men don't know what they want for the long run and act out ,out of frustration and lack of being comfortable expressing this.

Answer 7

Move on,i know it's easy to say than done but what can you do? keep on thinking and blaming one another,it won't work,just let go and maybe things will catch up sooner. So for the meantime, cool yourself with ice cream and favorite foods, It helps.

Answer 8

It sounds like you're kinda bad for each other. I'm sorry, it sounds like you would both be better off with someone else.

Answer 9

somehow you guys have to get over your anger toward each other...that's tough...I don't know what the answer is because I have no idea what the anger is based on.

Answer 10

Dude...it's over.

Sorry for my bluntness, but simple things are easy for me to figure out.