My boss is a bit of a jack the lad (or jackass). A few months ago just before xmas I got very very drunk and ended up kissing him in the office. I could barely remember anything that happened that night, all I know is that something happened. He promised me that nothing really happened and that he wouldnt tell anyone.
Now I have recently found out that he has been implying to people in my office that we are carrying on together and it has spread throughout the entire building. I am very very angry and I was very upset after it all happened - which he knew. I am waiting to speak to a union rep but I only just joined today. What are my rights?
2007-03-27 01:39:37 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
I except the fact that I am partly to blame. What is bothering me is that he has been telling people that we are CURRENTLY messing around together. When he found out that this information was spreading he got really angry and started pulling people aside and threatening others with their jobs if they keep talking about it.
Might I add he bought all the drinks that evening, kept me out and kept filling my glass. Believe me - I still know I did wrong before.
2007-03-27 01:52:52 · update #1
No - the facts you state do not warrant a case for Sexual harassment. Slander maybe depending upon exactly what he told people about your "get together" - but certainly not sexual harassment.
The fact that he is telling people not to discuss or talk about this matter is in his favor.
If you want to stop him from discussing or spreading this rumor about him currently dating you - - tell him that if he continues with this lines of out right lies you will tell every one that you got a real good case of STD from him and you are still trying to get cured!
That would do it!
Good Luck
2007-03-27 02:32:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Of course you have a right to sexual harrassment. No matter what happened at christmas, Hearing what some people say here disgusts me. Christmas parties do involve abit of innocent flirtations and maybe slightly more so long as the two people consent at the time. But if it is made clear 3 months on, that nothing else is going on and there is no intention of anything else happening, then if your boss continues implying things, a record should be kept of what was said and by whom, not only is your boss guilty of Harrassment but so are your colleagues if they are suggesting things around the building. You need to have a word with the boss first to advice him your not happy, in case the guy has a screw loose in the head and geniunely thinks your both an item. Health and safety act at work 1974 has a section about sexual harrassment and if its a boss causing the harrassment complaints can be made under laws covering discrimination and harassment. If you're forced to resign due to bullying you can make a constructive dismissal claim.Constructive dismissal happens when an employee is forced to quit their job against their will because of their employer's conduct. Find out what you can do if you feel that you have to leave your job. check out the links below. The Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service (Acas) offers free, confidential and impartial advice on all employment rights issues. You can call the Acas helpline on 08457 47 47 47 from 8.00 am to 6.00 pm Monday to Friday. Hope this helps, Jack the lad or not, he hasnt a right to continue the way he does if it makes you feel uncomfortable
2007-03-27 09:46:09 · answer #2 · answered by bartandstijn 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you can barely remember what happened that night, are you sure you can contradict his story? You say that 'something happened'. Did it go beyond the kiss? If it did but you can't remember, he may still be violating your rights under the new laws regarding sexual assault on a female under the influence. Unfortunately things like this happen in office parties. Once you take it to the union, your relationship with your boss will change for good. But if you think that's the only way to resolve it and rescue your reputation, then you definitely need help from your union or a good solicitor.
From your additional info, it sound like he is not pleased as well that his initial boast seems to have backfired. Maybe you can both discuss the matter and come to some action plan that does not drag in the union. Just as distorted news can spread like wildfire, maybe accurate info can also spread that you both are agreed that the gossip is not true. It may blow over and hopefully you can remain working there.
2007-03-27 08:57:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
to be honest, he hasnt sexually assaulted you YET. if you feel like this is getting to become an issue then write out a documented report. But in all fairness you should have never kissed him. Obviously you cant go back in time and change the past but learn from this mistake. Is this the impression you want to give your union on your FIRST day? I say let this situation cool off. Pretend you have a boyfriend, Maybe your boss will move on. If he puts his hands on you or directly says something to you that is considering sexual harassment. Otherwise I would just avoid him like the plague and let people know you have aman and you dont care!
2007-03-27 08:51:40 · answer #4 · answered by spadezgurl22 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your Union rep will have a better idea of your rights, but I would suggest that you have some straight words with your boss (difficult, since he's your boss).
Tell him that some people seem to have got the wrong end of the stick - ridiculous, eh? and leave him in no doubt that you don't think this is funny, that your (fabulous, weightlifter, jealous) boyfriend is annoyed by this, and that Christmas & booze can lead people to do things they would not do under normal circs, and have no intention of repeating.
Doubtless nothing happened beyond snogging but it sounds as if he wants to suggest to others that it went further. Do you have any leverage, ie. does he have a wife who'd kill him? Ask him if she knows, imply perhaps she should; that might shut him up.
2007-03-27 08:55:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
This sounds more like a domestic than a case of sexual harrassment, sorry. I doubt any small claims court would take this seriously.
Basically, you CHOSE (whether you were drunk or not) to get involved on some level. If he's a prick, he's a prick, but it doesn't sound like he forced himself on you. Now what he's doing is being a bit of an idiot about it and telling people, but it's not sexual harrassment. You have to live with the decisions you make, I'm afraid.
2007-03-27 08:57:25 · answer #6 · answered by insinceredave1981 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have the right to remain silent. You have the right not to get drunk and make an idiot of yourself. I very much doubt that his "inferences" would be classed as sexual harrasment. SH is more like patting you on the bum or making obscene gestures or remarks to you and asking you for sex.
Maybe you could turn the tables and suggest to the "others" you work with he couldn't get it up or something - maybe mention "impotence" without actually saying directly that he is. Maybe the other women are jealous because they think you and the boss made out and they didn't.
2007-03-27 08:48:24 · answer #7 · answered by Traveller 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think he needs putting in his place but I think sexual harrassment is a bit strong and if you sit down and think about it has he really sexualy harrassed you??
Probably not, and lets not forget the chinese whispers effect that happens in offices.
What you need to do is sit him down and ask him exactly what has been said about the incident if he a decent boss he wont mind putting the rest of the office straight on what happened.
I am a woman but girls really need to think before they go ruining a mans career over something that could easily be sorted our by a quite conversation.
2007-03-27 08:51:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What we have here is a perv who cannot keep a secret and like a stupid schoolboy wants to tell everyone of his 'conquest' because his life is so empty and dull.
Cure for your problem = a sharp kick in the goolies. Do this when he is out of the office and do it hard and quickly.
Good luck - works every time. No man ever comes back for more of the same.
2007-03-27 08:51:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i observe more than just an odd cynical remark from those those goodie ' goodies who could do no wrong ( and obviously never will ) before appreciating that you should be allowed to relax ( particularly end of season parties ) where everyone is inclined --- or indeed has been -- to let their hair down .
but that does not give anyone the right to ' brand someone ' if the excitement overtook them to a level where a misjudgement meant that those persons were having a nice time only for it to come back to haunt them ---you have every right to pursue this vindication for which you do not deserve to be persecuted .
anyone remember the Jodie foster movie where she just wanted to have a good time by her understanding --- and not be abused !!!
the small minded fool in your office needs waken up --- you have every right to take him to the cleaners . good luck
2007-03-27 09:02:42 · answer #10 · answered by bill g 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋