My partner has mental issues. He receives SSI. He blames everyone for his problems. He does nothing to help out. He sits around the house all day waiting for me to come for work and then expects me to clean, cook, and rub his back. I can't take living with anymore but I can't just kick him out-he has chronic illness with mental problems.
2007-03-27 01:00:30 · 18 answers · asked by anastasia 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to sit him down and in clear simple terms explain you can't deal with this anymore. It is not your job to take care of him for the rest of his life. It doesn't sound like he is getting better, like he is actively trying to change, mental problems or not you have got to get out of there. Unless you own the home I would leave. I wish you the best of luck.
My Mother had to leave her husband because of this. He just would not stay on medication, it wasn't about income it was about her own health and mental state you just can't live like that. You will wear yourself down and that is not fair to you. How long before you are suffering from depression yourself?
Position youself to get out of the relationship and leave. He needs to be responsible for his own life if you continue to stay and do these things he expects you to do your really doing nothing more than enabling him.
2007-03-27 01:18:22 · answer #1 · answered by Wicked Good 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey...you sound so sincere and sensitive. I completely understand your situation. I am married (for the 2nd time), it will be 4 years in August. I really wish I stayed single, it would be easier, because my situation is similar. I almost left a couple of times for the same reasons you described. I just can't seem to hurt him, but I am sure the day will come eventually. You have the advantage of not being married. It will make the break easier. You cannot expect miracles, things won't change. If things get to the point of driving you insane, my advise would be for you to leave. In his situation, kicking him out is what weighs on your mind. You would feel guilty pushing him out into the world when he can't seem to fend for himself. By you leaving, at least he is left in his familiar environment, and you might at least feel better about the break up knowing he will eventually have to do things for himself, and without you there to do everything for him....he will have appreciated you after the fact. When he gets that "wake-up call", it just might help reconcile the relationship, you may want to come back. I don't know what advise would be the best to give, I am just telling you how I would handle my situation.
2007-03-27 01:30:07 · answer #2 · answered by LARGE MARGE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then tell him that YOU need to move out because it's just not working out the way you'd hoped. If he can't afford to stay there by himself, have a few places already circled in the paper for him that he CAN afford. You don't have to be mean, you can help him find a place. You can even still date him if you want, it's just that living together is not right for you at this time. If he blames you for this...let him. It's not worth the argument. You know the real truth. Just keep in mind that he has always done this and his opinion about this means nothing.
2007-03-27 01:11:37 · answer #3 · answered by Pom♥Mom Spay and Neuter 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
God I feel awful for you. That must be tough to deal with and I would feel the same way about not being able to kick him out given his illness. Does he have any family members that you could talk to? Maybe you could try to talk to a health care proffessional dealing with mental issues to get advice as to how to deal with it. This is not healthy for you at all and you must have a very kind heart to have been able to live like this. Good Luck, wish I could help more..XX
2007-03-27 01:08:28 · answer #4 · answered by Jade AvA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me your problem would be solved if you did not clean, did not cook, and did not rub his back. There's no law that says you have to do those things. Of course, you have to eat, but what would work well is if you just made food for yourself -- let him get his own. Once you stop "serving" him, living with him will become much more tolerable for you.
2007-03-27 01:12:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, is it your place to kick him out? Do you own the home or are you renting together? You may not be able to kick him out, legally speaking. If you don't own the place, it may be easiest if you just move out. If you are committed to ending the relationship, his being sick doesn't really matter. What would you do if he wasn't sick? Why should the illness change your plans? Are you going to stay with him forever because he is ill and you don't want to upset him or something? You really aren't doing him any favors.
2007-03-27 01:07:46 · answer #6 · answered by rosekm 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You can't help that he has a chronic disorder. that's his problem not yours. Just kick him out on is ***. He has to learn to live on his own with his problem. Before he has a relationship.
2007-03-27 01:21:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH YES YOU CAN. There are many support programs which someone with these conditions will help especially since he is already getting SSI. You don't need the stress...ok.
2007-03-27 02:17:36 · answer #8 · answered by steinerrw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you leave, it may be the kick he needs to get him moving, sounds like he needs some motivation to get his life together. my husband is bipolar and he is no longer able to work due to back problems, but he helps around the house and does what he can to make life easier for me. he also works hard to keep his mental condition stable, he takes his meds and goes to the doctor regularly. so there is help for your mate, if he choses. if you need someone to talk to e-mail me.
2007-03-27 01:08:32 · answer #9 · answered by ladybug 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not married so technically, his mental illness is not your responsibility unless you make it one. It will be difficult but he's becoming toxic so you need to push him away. That's for both your own good. It would be better to ask help from friends and family.
http://lanispage.blogspot.com/
2007-03-27 01:04:33 · answer #10 · answered by Leilyn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋