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Any errors in my English?

I want to know If I'm improved:

1.I need to unleash the burning anger I have within

2.A familiar girl gets in the stage to give some sort of awards.

3.The smell of burnt flesh and hair produces an odor that gives pain to their nostrils.

4.The oil melted from his fat is oozing on the floor together with some squirts of blood.

5.His face is unrecognizable after all the burns he had. Mario just left him as he was waiting for his death.

2007-03-27 00:19:30 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities Books & Authors

5 answers

Yes, a few errors.

2007-03-27 00:28:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

I want to know If I'm improved:

(should be: I want to know if I have improved)

1.I need to unleash the burning anger I have within

(correct!)

2.A familiar girl gets in the stage to give some sort of awards.

(should be: on the stage. And "some sort of awards" is odd - sort is singular, but awards is plural. "some sort of award" would be more natural, or "various awards".)

3.The smell of burnt flesh and hair produces an odor that gives pain to their nostrils.

("gives pain to" is not a natural English expression. Try "an odor that pains their nostrils" or "hurts", "offends".)

4.The oil melted from his fat is oozing on the floor together with some squirts of blood.

(Not incorrect, though it sounds a little awkward. Rather than "together", I would use "mixed" - and probably "drops" rather than "squirts" of blood.)

5.His face is unrecognizable after all the burns he had. Mario just left him as he was waiting for his death.

(More naturally, "His face was unrecognizable after the burns", or "after the burns he had suffered".)

Hope that helps!

2007-03-27 07:28:45 · answer #2 · answered by Saint Bee 4 · 3 0

Actually on #4 you have to put in some sort of comma or rephrase your sentence. Try "The oil, melted from his fat, is oozing onto the floor and mixing with some squirts of blood." Otherwise you have an imbalaced sentence.

#5 "his face was left unrecognizable after all the burns he had recieved" sounds a little less awkward. That could just be a personal opinion though.

Other than that just the things that others have already pointed out.

2007-03-27 09:32:33 · answer #3 · answered by Shannon 3 · 0 0

4.the oil melting from his fat oozed on the floor 2gether with some squirts of blood. 5.his face was unrecognizable after all the burns he had had .Mario just left him as he waited for his death.OR his face is unrecognizable after all the burns he has had.

2007-03-27 09:56:58 · answer #4 · answered by vulcan_m 3 · 0 0

the first one is fine.
The second one should be - A familiar girl gets ONTO the stage....
The rest seem ok.

2007-03-27 09:19:29 · answer #5 · answered by Malfoy vs Potter 5 · 0 0

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