is this wrong?

Question

i split frm my ex over 1year ago and i have his 4 year old son, i live in my own house with my child, ive been seein a guy for just over a year, my niece is gettin christened sunday and my sis has asked my ex to be godfather, i havent been asked to be godmother and i said i was goin till they said my ex is goin n bein godfather, then i said it was best if i dont go cos we dont get on, they said well hes comin and bein godfather whether i like it or not, and i said well i aint goin, mum n dad said fine dont come but ur goin to look bad, and hes caused nothin but trouble wiv my bloke. im stuck in the middle they know my ex has caused me nuthin but trouble and he hates me, yet they choose him over me

he hates me cos i took our son and left him, he hit me, spoke 2 me like ****, yeah i did wind him up sumtimes but i was goin through depression and he never took me anywhere, he worked nites so i was left in this new house and a 3 month old baby all nite everynite by myself wen i was 17 yrs old, im now 23, i missed out on all my teenage years

my current bf isnt coming, long story,even if he could he prob wouldnt cos hes been causing trouble to my bf and now we aint talking cos he said hes had enough

Answer 1

This depends on you and your current boyf.

If you can go to the ceremony and be civilised then go. Just ignore your ex and don't worry about what he says. Be more mature than him.

Your sister obviously has her reasons for asking your ex to do godfather. It's really up to her at the end of the day. I wouldn't worry about it. The whole point is to welcome your neice into the family.

Good luck, hope it all works out for you.

Answer 2

who ever your sister asks to be god father to her baby was thought of with her babies best interest at heart,she hasnt done this to piss you off,no matter how much you think she has,,why would she?
For the sake of your own child and your neice go to the christening,its not like your never going to see him again,you have a child with him,what are you going to do when your son is 18,21,gets married,you cant just block your x out,no matter how much you would like to,you have a child with him so he will always be in your life 1 way or another.
You will suffer in the end because you will miss out on a big family get together because you have these feelings towards your x.
Why dont you go and just stay away from each other,surely you could do that for your neice and sister.
If not then your only hurting yourself and son,when his time comes for special times your family may not bother with you as you have told them you dont want to know about your neices christening.
And all because your x is going
maddness

Answer 3

Looks like you need to step back and tell the family that this is causing a problem and may make you distant from the family. If I were you I'd go to the event with the boyfriend. Tell the boyfriend to be on his best behavior know matter what. Stand back a watch your ex make an a** of himself in front of the family. If that doesn't work. Perhaps you need to show them you are serious and stay away from them for awhile.

Answer 4

OMG, i feel so sorry for you babe, well don't worry, there are plenty of other's out there, and maybe if your people arn't being understanding of what this bloke has done to you then they are obviously to stuck up in their own little world. i'll tell u what though. take you and your son the ceremony, dress nice, be nice but stay away from your ex. be normal. be nice. don't say anything unnecessary, or do anything unusual. you main power is eye contact. if you lead the eye contact, you have the power. stuff the ex. pretent like nothing has happened. it's best for both of you. pretend as if the father of your kid was on business of something, but make sure you are the best aunty to your neice possible. hate your family if you want, but remember, it won't help if you show it. hate them inside if you have to, but when talking to them, show that you don't. it's always best to talk though babe, explain what happened to you, and why you are so against it.

Answer 5

They are wrong to choose him over you unless they really don't have a tight relationship with you. It seems that they see something in him that they would choose him as a godfather. It seems like they don't even care how you feel. If I were you I would just not go. Forget them, Let them see for themselves that hes a looser.
Don't take it to heart,because there is nothing you can do about the decision they've made

Answer 6

From a guys point of view !

Think about the way you treated your bloke . I know for a fact you Girls can be Evil !

My ex was Evil to me and Heartless. maybe you was to your ex .

Everyone makes mistakes , Forgive and forget .

go along and just talk to him and say i know thinks have been hard but lets just forget the past and think about now . !

Its not really that hard .

Answer 7

Just stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop thinking about the past. Go to the christening and be socialble. Your not thinking about anything but poor me, you will never get on with your life if you stand still in that mode. You chose your life and now get on with it. You didn't learn anything by missing your teenage years, whose fault was it? YOURS, no one else, you have a son so just pick up get dressed go to the christening and stop feeling sorry for yourself and that they care more for him then you, that isn't so, time to grow up.

Answer 8

Ignore him. The day is not about you and your ex it is about the christening. At times you need to set aside your issues to focus on other peoples good times. This is one of those occasions where your world needs to revolve around other people

Answer 9

sorry just go you don't have to sit by him or speak to him
I think its because you have a child together their sons uncle
they want everyone to get on for the sake of the children
I had a similar situation my mother in law and her step daughter don't get on but both are a big part in my children's lives, so we invited both who were anxious about meeting the other after such a long time my sister in law didn't come and it was very noticeable and she missed a lovely day
Go you dont have to speak to one another

Answer 10

you need to pick up and move on sweetie, stop living in the past, if your family want him there then there is nothing you can do about it.

you were not right for eachother and you caused him heartache when you left him, why not forgive and forget for the sake of the family.