Is approaching a married man with intensions of a relationship okay?

Question

I got involved with my fiance about a year ago and at that time he was still married, and his wife was over in Iraq. At first i thought that he was a dog but as i got to know him and talked to him, I asked why are you married and messing around with other women. And he replied that just because that everything appears to be great in the marriage doesn't really mean that everything is okay on the inside. So he told me about what she was doing and he had been putting up with it for 6 years. And he told me he was not happy, and his wife thought that going to Iraq and making all that money would make him happy and that was not the case.

So the more i talked to him the more my feelings got deeper and deeper for him, and i couldn't help but fall in love.

Was it okay to pursue this relationship with him being married???

Answer 1

Hi dont feel bad if you are happy stick with it there are so many marriages that have gone downhill for years with no love and affection , but it takes one person to walk out obviously when he found you that was the jolt and a reason for him to take the plunge and move on , a lot of people stay in relationships for the wrong reasons mostly money and losing property and kids , he was unhappy and found happiness in you,, good luck

Answer 2

u can't always believe everything a married man says about his wife. yes u could have helped falling in love, it was a choice, didn't just happen overnight. no its not right to stay in this relationship, because u could be hurting someone else, or he could go beck with the wife when she comes home, and leave u hanging there with no one. plus theres always a payback when u hurt others by your actions, plus hes a cheater, even if he does get a divorce, and marry u, in a few years he may be telling some other woman things about u, just as he is doing now to his wife.

Answer 3

Things to know about MOST (not all) of us males:
1) in general (not always but generally), when we're trying to get into a woman's pants, we tell them a story that tugs at their heartstrings... >50% of the time it's effective (we choose the woman/victim carefully by the way)
2) It usually is our wife's problem-- she's the problem here, not us- we're caring, devoted, loving, committed, saintly, and loyal husbands... wo is me- wo is me- wo is me
3) if we're telling you our sob story about that sub-par wife, most likely (>90%) of the time, we're using the same story to score with another woman... why, b/c it works >50% of the time
4) we're always amazed at how utterly gullible some of the female species are
5) we tend to travel in circles of available women we have learned to spot as easily manipulated if we just go slow and take our time. And we tend to serial "screw"-- i.e., go from one to the other and then another-- there are always available women and the more I score with, the better my storyline becomes, inclusive of all of the perfectly manufactured emotions

I'm sorry to say it this crassly, but my point was to strongly paint a picture of where your married man may be. A truism that's been stated by many above is that what goes around does come around.

Answer 4

NO, you actually preyed upon a lonely man. His wife devoted her time to make the family a nice income and then a single girl comes in flirts and hits on a married man. Wow, what are you going to do after you get married and another woman does this to you?

Answer 5

I think you are going to get just what you deserve.. a cheat for a boyfriend/lover/husband. I find it odd that it is all his wife's fault that he is unhappy.
Have fun and live it up and live the life of a low moral person, Karma will catch up with you.
Personally I think he is playing you and just out for a little fun while the wife is away. How can you admire a person like this?

Answer 6

no. y? because he is married. it is considered cheating. you could fall in love with him, thats true because your spending your time talking with him. Are you ready to be in such a roller coaster situation. Having an affair with a married man is not a joke. You should consider his wife's feeling or the family of the both sides as well.

w8 for him to get divorced. that maybe fair. ok?

anyway, how old are you now?

Answer 7

Men love getting attention and will tell you lies to keep you interested in them.
The old "My wife doesn't understand me" line is such a cliche because it is used so often.
What do you want from this relationship? Are you hoping he will leave his wife for you ? If so, how do you know you wont be the one on the receiving end of his roving eye (and other body parts) in a couple of years ?

It's all about RESPECT - for others and for yourself ...

Answer 8

Well you've heard one side of the story.

Providing there is no harm (emotional, etc) going to be caused to anyone, including you, then why not.

Just don't go getting too wrapped up in this until you have the whole story. Like.... his wife is wiling to go to Iraq and make money to try and please him.... that's a pretty extreme step..... if she gave him crap for six years why would she suddenly take this amazingly big step.

If she has gone to Iraq to make money, its probably so she can get away from him when she gets back. Tread very carefully.

Answer 9

No it wasn't okay to pursue the relationship...he was MARRIED, not on the market whether it was a "happy" marriage or not he was still MARRIED. You basically whored yourself out to a married man willingly. I'll bet your momma is proud...

Answer 10

I believe that how you start dating is how you will stop dating. For example if you start dating because he was your best friends you will stop dating and still be best friends. If you start dating because he cheated on his wife then you will stop dating because he cheated on you. I've seen this happen so many times. I told this to a girl. She told me that this would never happen to her. Two years later it did. I hope the same is not true for you. Best wishes!