what do u have to say abt this?

Question

If a frnd of yours is always available for you. Whenever u need an ear and shoulder that friend offers u always and u know that friend is always there for u.
So do u take that friend for granted or care less if u know that friend will come at ur one call, is just like a dorrmat to u.
Do u respect that friend? If u know that friend loves talking to u.. no matter how busy that friend is will make time for u.
so how would u treat this friend?

I feel my friend doesnt care for me as much as I care for her.
Do u think it will work if I get unavailable to her when she needs me?

Answer 1

if this were a true friend you wouldnt have to ask answers she would give this answer to you

Answer 2

Brave of you to come on here and ask that question.

I don't know you or your friend well but from what you write it suggests that you lack a little confidence in yourself.

Low self esteem is easily talked about and can be difficult to address, but your question suggests that to you need to become more assertive.

If you are still at school approach your form tutor or the head of pastoral care, learning is a good way of increasing your 'sense of worth' this is very important to improving confidence.

If you have left school and are unemployed or in a similar situation visit your local Vicar/Priest there are teams of listeners attached to most churches that will help you, also try to get involved in a community activity.

As for your friend she may simply be more 'confident' than you and completely unaware of your feelings. When she 'uses you' it may be that she thinks you are so strong because you are always there to help her.

If she is rude or dismissive of you then perhaps she is not really your friend, either way adopting the doormat position is not a good tactic, true friendship does not require such acts.

Answer 3

I think you are presupposing your friend. I wasn't aware that friendship was built on some type of meter which measures how much a friend contributes to the friendship. In all relationships one seems to give more than the other. If we used that criteria we would have few friends. Accept your friend for what he/she is, obviously they have something which attracts you, otherwise you would not have chosen that person as a friend in the first place. If you measure your friendship by what you receive, rather than what you give, you will end up with very few friends. Don't always count the cost, just be there when your friend needs you and at the end of your life your friend will still be there when all others have abandoned you.

Answer 4

How come you thought that friend of yours doesn't care for you? Anyway, if you like being her friend, it doesn't mean you needed something in exchange... Being a friend is generosity. It is not a job that if ever you've completed a task, you'd be given a reward... Don't be sad of something that you've just thought there's lacking... Keep thinking positively, there's no pain to it, because being a friend to somebody is a lot more rewarding than someone being befriended.. And by the way, it doesn'y actually matter whether you'd get unavailable, just makes sure it's not of your intentions... Mind you, im happy being a friend... c:

Answer 5

Playing games does not help any relationship. You need to be true to yourself. If you help your friend because you want her to be grateful and love you that is not true giving. I know that is easier said than done. Most us do work at being popular. You can't really make someone care for you. They either do or they don't. You can work on respecting yourself. You will have more to offer yourself and then others. Don't keep score, but if you feel used, then learn not to volunteer and also learn to say no.

Answer 6

Sounds like your being used..... if your too available she might not respect you... suddenly become less available and make it sound as though your life is just so great right now and you'll call later......I know it sounds like a game, and it is, but sometimes with some people if your too good to them then they don't really want you. Been there before, and it wasn't until it looked like my life was going great without them then they were calling me. Fill your life up and don't get so involved in hers. If she isn't entirely selfish she.ll come and see why your not at her beck and call anymore..... and don't act all stupid and happy when she does. Its all a game...Maybe she isn't worth it?

Answer 7

Freinds like that, that are always there regardlesss of what is going on in their own lifes are extremely rare. Very hard to find another person that are not blood related or so that can find time at any time for another, so they should be respected, hounored and loved and if they are not then rejection is the only way foward.

Answer 8

This, I think, calls for a measure of things and by that I mean a friend should be there for you everythime he can be but not necessarily to sacrifice himself to you!! Someone that doesn't understand this concept is not really your friend but an egoist, also you shouldn't give to much attention to that person, especially if you feel is too much, give and take as much as you feel you should normally do or else you will get to this type of conclusion: that it doesn't care as much!! Also I truly believe, especially when concerning friends, when giving, one should never expect somethin back! Give your time, energy, love, etc to that person becouse you enjoy giving it and not becouse if you do it you should get something back! Remember pls that this is only an oppinion!!!

Answer 9

I have ur exact problem! only that my case s a guy! :) funny isn't it?... well I'm trying to get what ever I'm expecting of him from my self. ppl's lives r different. ppl can't always be there for one another. if they do the other person will get addicted to them n as we all will die some day n this has no exception it's gonna be really hard for the person who's depending on us. I believe every individual has to learn to be independent.
put ur self in her position n situation. imagine a day that ur so busy not having time to scratch ur head! n suddenly some one calls n expects u to listen. or imagine a day that u don't feel well n struggling with all the problems that u have in mind n one just pops out of no where n expects u to solve her / his problem or listen to what ever she/he wanna tell u. it's not possible for every day of ones life to be there for another is it?...

Have a great time!
CHEERS! :)

Answer 10

Usually when we ask such a question we know the answer! Friendship does have two sides to it and if you are not getting any fulfilment sooner rather than later you seek it elsewhere.

However communication is the key to any relationship. Why not talk it out with your friend. What may be obvious to you may not be to her!

Answer 11

sometimes we meet people who are just destined to be fiends, sometimes they are lifetime friend, sometime the freindship fades. You can't MAKE someone love you, but you can remain her feind and move on at the same time. I had a wonderful lifetime freindship with a lovely woman, we had bonded spiritually and it was very special, but not physical. Dear freinds are one of the most pleasurable things we get out of life, you don't have to own or posses them, they are there simply because they chose to be.