I caught my wife cheating. But she is NOT sorry. She says that it is MY fault. She blames me for her having a steady boyfriend on the side. Even when I asked her NOT to see him any more, she was still sweetly whispering "I love you" on the phone to him. That drove me NUTS, so next day I left a message on his answering machine that I'd break his arms if he screwed my wife again. When I told my wife about this, she Screamed at me that I was a crazy man, a controlling man, that she could never love me and she demanded a divorce immediately. Next day she said it could wait (I pay the rent and it was the end of the month). Fact is, I'm upset with him and I really really what to hurt him bad. Should I go to his place with a bunch of buddies from work and beat the living crap out of him or what?
2007-03-26 19:16:45 · 26 answers · asked by honesty_counts 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are being Cuckolded my friend. Do remember it takes two to tango.
2007-03-27 02:44:43 · answer #1 · answered by TREX 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's no angel, but he's guilty of nothing more than giving into a common temptation. Your wife is the one who has unrepentantly destroyed your marriage. Now I'm not advocating you hurt her either.
You just have to come to terms with the fact you're really hurting, and get out of this poisonous relationship. You don't have a marriage with this woman (and she sounds about as nice as a pet scorpion) and probably haven't for a long time.
Your ego will jump out and you and demand you lash out at someone, and the boyfriend is handy. But don't do anything you'll regret, and don't hurt anyone. It takes a bigger man to walk away, I know that sounds corny but it's true. The prisons are full of guys who had a pretty good excuse for being angry.
You've got a great excuse to descend into a mindless rage and do some pretty terrible and irreversable things. Or you can get out of this awful marriage, kick her *** to the curb, and start to heal.
Believe it or not if you get rid of this woman, do some healing, and then find a real woman who is worthy of the title wife, you will look back and feel sorry for the boyfriend, and relieved that you are well out of it.
In the meantime recognize that you are seriously hurt, that this is not your fault (despite what your wife would have you believe; that's just another attack) and that you have to exercise control over your emotions.
Think of it this way: if you did something truly stupid and wound up in prison, then your wife would win (plus she'd take all your stuff). Get to a lawyer and make sure you protect yourself from the coming divorce; because the circumstances you should come out reasonably ok.
2007-03-26 19:43:36 · answer #2 · answered by Jon S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be proactive and instead of breaking the law, take your money and do not walk run to find the best attorney you can and put this one in front of the judge. If you do it your way, by the time you get out of jail, she will be blowing him in your living room with an injunction restricting you from her house and the server will have your copy of the divorce petition waiting for you right outside the release center. You decide but if you prepare, you could come out close to 50-50. We have to be smarter than the things in place for the women and learn that they will use the man thing and style against us and that is punishable in court. Put your chivaly away as it is not valued any longer and the only way to impress a woman is to beat her at her own game. Don't believe me visit a men's support site and read some of the scenario's exactly like the one you describe. Your circumstances still could leave you with a chance if you act correctly. Read and research but do not wait until the last minute.
2007-03-26 19:29:02 · answer #3 · answered by g_menagerie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
So you going to beat him up, get arrested for assult, use all of your rent money for bail and sell the car for future criminal and legal fees. Then you'll be broke, doing 5-10 in the graybar motel being taking it in the pooper whenever some other guy need a warm hole?
Cheating is a 2-way street. He was on one side. Your slutt wife was on the other. Slowly take all of your valuables and pawn them off so she get's nothing in the divorce. Split what little is remaining, and divorce her. More times than not, the cheater wishes they could go back and change the past. Send her into the future with little or nothing.
2007-03-27 03:15:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well as happens most times in stuff like this...you have it all backwards....yeah you are probably pissed at this guy and for good reason but hey.......the person you should feel the most anger for is your wife......she is the one that broke your marriage vows, the promise. You didn't marry him you married her and although he didn't help matters any she is the one you cared about who broke that trust and promise. Be hurt about what she did to you. That's who hurt you. So don't go breaking anybody's arms or nuts or any other randomly selected body parts. She is the one playing you, so deal with her from a legal point of view......its important that you keep your head or you will come out the loser even though she is the one that cheated. No sense in you ending up in jail for her adultery because you couldn't keep your cool......if you keep your cool you have a better chance of winning in the end. Good Luck!
2007-03-26 19:33:38 · answer #5 · answered by chcman74 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should get rid of that woman as fast as you can. I would not put up with someone treating me like that. How can she even have the nerve to tell some other man that she loves him on the phone with you there listening to her! What a pathetic excuse for a human life. Get rid of her. I would advise you not to harm the dog that she's going out with though, Only because it could cause YOU trouble, maybe even jail time. That dog or his female dog just isn't worth it. They sound like they will be perfect for one another. You need to release this b*tc^ like a small bass. Find yourself an honest, caring, loving, understanding and FAITHFUL woman who will love YOU and only YOU.
I am sorry that you are having to go through with this. Karma will come to her and the dog she's with. I wish you the best of luck.
2007-03-27 00:11:19 · answer #6 · answered by Dawn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i second WOLFSBURGs opinion... dont tell her anything and starts building a case against her infidelity.... i dont know how to start, but i suppose a good divorce lawyer could tell you what you need to make sure she doesnt get half or whatever the going rate is for cheating spouses.... act like you are still mad, but dont give away that you are building evidence against her... like i said, i dont know what you can do, but i would use videotape if i could so that there is no doubt as to her indescretions. but first ask your new lawyer if that is legal!
dont get violent, it wont help.... but living well w/o her will.... work on doing what you might have done wrong with this marriage and try again!
or just stay single and not mess with the drama of marriage and that whole thing leading up to it
2007-03-26 20:42:09 · answer #7 · answered by derek s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
counts,
My opinion, sir...
You're suffering from a case of misguided aggression.
I'm not suggesting that you hurt your wife...quite the contrary, I don't recommend the course of action you outlined above, with anyone. You'll only end up hurting yourself...and you can't live a happy life in prison.
You're wife is unrepentant...that means it really does not matter just WHO she's screwing...if you beat up boyfriend number one, boyfriend number two won't be too far behind...and it would be easier for her to facilitate, with you in jail.
I would hire a good divorce attorney and start to build evidence against your wife. Hopefully you'll be heard by a fair-minded judge who'll think twice against awarding her alimony...get your divorce and find someone worthy. Life a fulfilling life with someone who'll treat you with respect.
Living well would be the best revenge you could ever hope to achieve...it would just tear her up inside.
2007-03-26 19:27:56 · answer #8 · answered by Wolfsburgh 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
how old are u, sir?
i'm sorry to hear that,but you'll might get arrested for beating up a guy, so i think the best way is to divorced her and find a better wife. A wife like her doesn't deserve a good husband like u.
2007-03-26 19:29:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she's showing so very little respect for you, and for your marriage, then you need to tell her goodbye. She has no right to be seeing someone else, and if you let her do this then it will only continue.
If there are no children, then I say walk out and let her worry for awhile. If her boyfriend doesn't come running with money for the rent, she may rethink her priorities.
It isn't her boyfriends fault. Who knows what lies she's told about why she's unfaithful? Do you think she sits and tells him you're a great husband??? He probably thinks she's some poor abused little housewife.
Walk out on her. Not necessarily forever, but long enough to let her know that you're serious.
2007-03-26 19:37:18 · answer #10 · answered by Theresa A 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
hmmm do you really really want to go to jail?
it is not a reflection on you it is a reflection on him and her. there are those that will cheat and those that will not. there is nothing you could do to stop it. it is just sex, so if you can live with that then fine, after all she had sex with someone else before she met you and will have sex after you break up or die. but the std thing is the monkey wrench in cheating and a potential deadly one. get checked, tell her to get checked no sex until you both pass. then it is up to you, stay or leave, though staying can be like playing russian roulette with stds, good luck and take care.
2007-03-26 21:27:03 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋