Are my feelings towards death normal?

Question

There has been a lot of death in my life so far this year: first it was my grandmother, then my best friend's brother, and then I learned that I have a terminal illness and am going to die soon. Everyone's dying. Only, I'm not really upset about it. For instance, I didn't cry when my grandmother died, and it only took a few days for me to accept that I am dying. Now I just live life as usual, going to school even though I know it won't do me any good in the future. It's weird. I rarely give much thought to my own death; I spend more time thinking about architecture and all the other stuff I used to think about. And when I do think about death, I accept it. The only thing that's changed is that I never think about myself anymore and I never try to be happy. That's not important. What is important is that I help others to be happy and make their lives better in some way. Is this attitude towards death normal or is it somehow problematic?

Thanks for answering,

D. M

Answer 1

If your going to die , for sure and there is little or no nothing you can do to prevent it. Then I say you may not have the best feelings but they are better then some others I have seen. But please try to have a little fun in the time you have. Its always nice to help others.

And the part about you never being happy cannot fully be true helping others by the sounds of it makes you a little happy.

I hope the illness you have is painless and slow coming so you can be around and help others be happy.

Answer 2

A very unusual attitude for a young person facing death, but not problematic at all. Surely u must find some pleasure in making others happy, however small. and remember, miracles happen everyday, I`ve read of many cases of people who were terminally ill and just continued to live their lives as before only to still be here 5 yrs. later. Keep the peace but never give up hope, ur kindness to others may just be rewarded with many yrs. of life. Ur courage is admirable.

Answer 3

No, but it some respects, it should be.

It is strange how humans are the only animals that are concerned with what happens after we die, but our focus should instead be on making the most of living.

But don't view it all as meaningless. I don't know how long you have, but if you can, read "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl. He is a psyciatrist that lived through the holocaust, amazing stuff.

I'm sorry to hear that you have to go, but I'm glad that we were able to have this brief amount of contact while we both existed, no matter how impersonal and distant.

Answer 4

D.M., you're the one who's dying; only you know how best you can handle it. If you think that helping others is okay, then it's okay. But we all have our own ways of dealing with death; normal is a relative term, and doesn't apply to individuals. So do what you want, and I wish you the best.

P.S. Doctors have been wrong before, so live each day like it's your last, but don't make any serious bets. Okay?

Answer 5

I think from your post that you have cut off emotionally and at some point these bottled emotions will come spilling out. No one knows why these things happen and it is almost cruel to know your own timeline, but between now and the two years, anything could happen. Tomorrow could be your last day if fate has deemed it that way. It could be mine!
It is easy to think we have all the time in the world, and a tough pill to swallow knowing that we can not have that luxury. I feel really awful for you and almost angry because so much is being taken from you. But please, by all means, try to enjoy what you can of this world.
I think your numbness is eventually going to wear off and when/if it does, please reach out to your loved ones. Don't try to carry this all on your own.

Answer 6

I don't know about "normal", but it sounds like a healthy outlook to me, and kind of mirrors my own though process (though I have not been diagnosed with a fatal illness).

Keep enjoying life, and being the wonderful person it sounds like you are.

Answer 7

I personally think that its better to go out the way you just said.. don't think about yourself, think about others who still have life to live.

Answer 8

Sounds like you have your head together. Go in peace, you will be missed.