My boyfriend never really hangs out with his friends. However, when we are mad he takes advantage and goes off and gets really drunk at a bar with his friends. His so called friends are not even good people to hang around with. He then spends a lot of money and ends up broke. What should I do to make him stop! I don’t drink nor go to bars I am a good Christian. It’s not right I don’t deserve this. We have been dating for 7 years I want to make it work, because he is not like this everyday. I dont want to be like him and we have talked about this several times. He say's he is going to stop and does it again in a few months.
2007-03-26 18:30:32 · 3 answers · asked by Stephanie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Stephanie, if he is earnestly committed to stop, perhaps the 12 steps program of AA might help. I'm not saying he is an alcoholic but it seems like he does fall into a web of destructive behavior when conflicted.
May I suggest a book like "Emotional Intelligence" or some type of anger management program. If he is empowered with the tools to identify negative patterns, then he will be able to remain serene and in control in a situation which would otherwise unsettle him.
If however, despite his promises, he doesn't change his ways, then you will have to change yours.
A grown man needs to be accountable for his actions. In your heart, you can forgive him if he errs but you must also find the courage to leave him. If you keep on allowing him to use your kindness against you, then you really are doing him a disservice as well as to yourself...
Take care and be well :)
2007-03-26 18:42:30 · answer #1 · answered by Penelopium 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he voluntarily go to the same church as you do? Then why does he go drink? You can't make him stop. He needs to make that decision on his very own. I'm sorry to tell you this, however, if this is something he keeps doing, you need to stop being his girlfriend. You need a break from each other. He might be a binge drinker, or alcoholic. As in a binge alcoholic. Drinking is not the solution when angry, and the fact that he spends his money to the point he ends up broke, is not a good thing either. That shows a lack of responsibility-big time-on his part. Hypothetically, if you were married, this would still be going on. Maybe even more so. I am not trying tojudge the man, but the situation looks the way it looks, because he is the way he is. Also, PLEASE don't be trying to save him", and dating him as a missionary. That WILL NOT WORK Honest. The Bible does talk of not being unequally yoked. If this man is the right one for you, he wouldn't be drinking. Or blowing his money the way he has been. Just trust God that if this guy is the right one, he will get his act together the right way. And, if he isn't, that God will bring the right one your way. I wish you the best. Take care.
2007-03-27 01:42:01 · answer #2 · answered by SAK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he hasn't stopped by now he never will
2007-03-27 01:34:34 · answer #3 · answered by jill b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋