What should I do?

Question

I'm seeing a Psychologist because after high school I've isolated myself and I don't get out as much as I'd like to interact with people. (I was bullied in school) I'm having problems with facial expressions now from cooping myself up. She wanted to put me on Lexapro but I don't want to take medication and I told her this from the beginning. I am willing to do whatever therapy takes but no medicine. Am I wrong in this? All she's going to do is put me on it to lessen the anxiety I'm sure to work on how I am, but why can't she just help me/guide me how I am now? I can go out, I can be around people I just never sit down and make conversation or say hello to people. I'm not scared of people but I have no trust in myself and I care too much what others think and take a lot personally even moreso than I should. I think it all has to do with self-esteem.

Answer 1

Why go to a psychologist if you are going to ignore her recommendations? If you went to an MD and she said you had an infection and needed to take an antibiotic would you take it? A psychologist has many years of training and experience and if she recommends you take a certain medication to treat you, why not try it? See how you feel. Taking a medication to make you better is not weak.

Answer 2

If you really feel that the medication is not what you want to do stand firm. That will be a good start in being assertive. I think that you are just having trouble with your self esteem. I would recommend that you go out in public, shopping, try talking to sales clerks, they are there to help and you probably won't get a hurtful response from them. This may help rebuild your faith in mankind. It will help you to start communicating with others. Have you tried a support group? I would think that there are a lot of people out there with your same problem. I know my niece has trouble in large crowds. If you got a job as a clerk, it would help you also. I believe that your fears can be overcome by hitting them head on and just get out in the eye of the public and deal with it. I know that it will be very difficult the first several times, but each day should get easier. It took a while for you to become a loner and it will take some time for you to start to socialize. Don't be hard on yourself, people understand, and if you tell them that you are nervous about talking to people they will be even kinder to you. Take one day at a time and remember that you are a wonderful person and your opinion is just a valuable as someone Else's

Answer 3

I am a lot like you. I think my self-esteem may be different then yours. I am very shy around those I do not know. And just shy around those I get to know. If it was not for school or work I would not know anyone because I almost do not half a social life except for a few friends and maybe one or two past boyfriends.

I think I have some anxiety myself. I do not want to take pills but you might be able to try them. If it does not work out stop. But if it helps and theres no bad side effects why not?

I do not know much about medicine but you might be able to use the pills to raise your self-esteem until you do not need the pills. I think you should get a second opinion first of all. But thats probably why you are here.

and if you like me at all you can fully express yourself online.

Answer 4

You should explain to your psychologist that drugs are a waste of time, and that you feel your intelligence is being insulted because she thinks you want to do this the easy way. Honesty goes much farther than just saying what people want to hear. And only you can really do something about your self-esteem; others might be able to help, in a limited way, but only you will know how well you're doing. So don't worry, but be truthful.

Answer 5

First, you need to stop terrorizing yourself with 'shoulds'. I should be more sociable, I should have more friends, I shouldn't have isolated myself after high school. All these expectations will only keep you down. Challenge these thoughts in a logical manner using the socratic method.

Example: THOUGHT - I should have more friends.

CHALLENGE - Where is it written that I should have more friends. Althought that would be nice, it doesn't make me a better or even bad person.

Underlying this attempt to reorient the way you think about yourself and what you think other people think about you is you need to alter your beliefs about you. You need to stop thinking about yourself as not being good enough. You are enough, you are lovable, you are interesting. How can you expect other people to believe that if you, yourself don't acknowledge or believe it? Change the way you see yourself, learn to love yourself!

Second, celebrate and learn to love who you are (again, so important). That means being kind to yourself and not being so hard when things don't go your way. Like Shelley Sykes says happy people are creative people. Don't look at your predicament and keep seeing the close door, instead look for the open doors - the new opportunities around you. Think of it this way, you've made a proactive decision to change your life and now you have this wonderful new confidence and desire to get out there and meet new people. Just imagine the sorts of friends you are going to make!

Do things that make you happy, in other words have what Sykes' calls a happy plan. That means doing things that life your mood like listening and dancing to music, cooking, walking - whatever.

Third, take care of your needs. If you are in need of a self confidence boost take a hard look at yourself and ask am I doing all I can to look and feel my best? For instance, if you feel guilty after emotionally eating, shouldn't you do something and stop it? It sounds shallow at first, but changing your wardrobe a little or even getting a haircut can really boost your spirits. And in turn that makes you more attractive to people.

Finally, you need to find that thing that is so unique and beautiful and share it with others. Generally, people are attracted to people who are energetic, approachable, fun-spirited and have a good sense of humour.

Also ask your therapist about cognitive behavioural therapy or just change if you aren't happy with them.

Answer 6

hey man the world is a bitter place ,and u got the short end of the stick, but u have to rise up and just move on, mabey work out and pay a little visit to those bullies thats what i did i used to be a short kid for a while then growth came and when it did no matter how tall or short big or wide ..anyone who messes with me gets their short end of the stick stuck up their ***.