how do i look at things positivly if my life is a mess! my husband left me and his new born baby for a 17 year old girl in high school. He is 24. now they are in a relationship and my x lives around the corner from me and i see her car at his place ALL the time. It kills me!
then just the other day i was in a terrible accident (not my fault) and my 1 month old was in the back seat. we are ok but the car was totaled. i am having such a hard time dealing with all of this and being a new single mother. how do i coupe?
2007-03-26 17:56:45 · 18 answers · asked by I♥Karma 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
how can i be happy and know everything will be alright if it just keeps getting worse!
2007-03-26 17:57:26 · update #1
our divorce isn't even final yet!
2007-03-26 18:03:03 · update #2
I'm sorry you're going through a rough time. How do you cope? One day at a time. Put one foot in front of the other and play the hand you've been dealt.
The positives I see in your circumstances are as follows:
1. Your life is less messy now that you are rid of your husband who is carrying on with a 17 year old girl. (statutory rape).
2. Who cares if her car's at his place all the time? If he could
leave his wife and new born child, he could, and most likely will, do the same to her. Be glad he's gone. Your number one priority should be taking care of your baby. Focus your energy on that.
3. As far as the accident goes, yes it's very unfortunate that your car was totallled----but thank God you and your baby were not hurt. I am assuming you had full coverage auto insurance, and have filed a claim with your insurance carrier.
Use the money to buy yourself a dependable enough vehicle to get you from point A to point B. In the meantime, use public transportation or walk to the store if it's within walking distance.
4. Do you have friends and family you can count on to help you out with the baby? If not, do the best you can taking care of your baby and yourself.
5. Finally, make sure the bottom feeder you married, pays child support. Get a lawyer if necessary. And remember, your
life would get a whole lot messier with someone like him in it. Good luck and keep your chin up.
2007-03-26 18:27:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im so sorry, being a mum is hard enough without doing it on your own. I would say to just be happy that you have just had such an amazing experience giving birth and having a gorgeous new baby, i know it's hard being that you now have all these other problems to face. man that guy must be such a cold hearted bastard. i hope you are getting child support off him, that is his responsibility, if he's not going to be there to help raise the child then he has to pay. All i can say is focus on your baby and enjoy every moment as they grow up so fast, that baby gives you unconditional love so enjoy it. I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this alone, this is meant to be one of the most enjoyable moments of your life. Try and focus on your baby and hopefully the days will fly past and before you know it you will thank him for leaving. Good luck in the future for you and your baby.
2007-03-26 18:29:20 · answer #2 · answered by jimmy_chick78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok I was in a similar situation I had a car accident after my sons father left me my son was born 12 weeks premmy from as a result of the car accident, also at the same time I ended up homeless.
You have to take all this in and say to myself, I have a child here that loves me I love me and I will do my best for me and the child...Yes I know it hurts that you see him with her all the time but think you are better then him and you deserve better any man that runs out of a marriage with a new born baby is not ready to settle down and commit.
Take what has happened to you and turn it from a negative to a positive. Take stock of what you have and move forward the hurt and the anger will eventaully subside move forward in your life and be the best possible mother you can be for you child. If you can survive a car accident and being left at the same time you can survive almost anything. you can be stong talk to someone about your feelings dont dwell on someone that has no guilt about up and leaving you with the baby.
Do what is best for you and you baby, beleive me there are plenty of dark days ahead but do know there is sunshine at the end of the tunnel you will find you are stronger then you were before things like this are sent to make us stronger not break us........Ask for some counselling from you local pastor or care agency if you have a health nurse comming to your home to visit you and bubby ask if she can recommend someone you can talk too.
I Wish you luck and keep you chin up smile and take a deep breath.
2007-03-26 18:10:42 · answer #3 · answered by ozi_nut 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are young so you have plenty of time to pick up the pieces and move on and have life be good for you. One thing you have to do, is realize you were part of why this happened. See, you picked him. But apparently you could have done a better job. Then after picking a jerk, you compounded the problem and had sex with him and now you have a kid without a dad. So the good new is you are young, so you have time to re-adjust the way in which you pick men in the future so that this never happens again. Step one: don't just meet men and think that because you have things in common that its a match made in heaven.Really get to know him....i mean really know him ...not just date him for a year. Get to know his thoughts and feelings about important issues, love committment, honesty, kids, money and i could go on and on and on. So thats how you make sure this doesn't happen again. But now for the issue at hand. You will need the support of your family and friends to help you with getting your life back in order. Step one...do not concern yourself any longer with the jerk...you have bigger priorities to worry about...like your kid and yourself becoming self suffiecent. So work on that, and don't be a teenager worrying every minute whats going on around the corner in that house. Take care of yourself and the kid...get a job, ask family for help and it will gradually work itself out. Once you are up and running smoothly with your life then and only then think about dating again and this time you know what to do ....Good Luck!
2007-03-26 18:16:14 · answer #4 · answered by chcman74 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I always say things happen for a reason, your ex- doesn't sound like much of a husband and so perhaps your better off now, even with a young child, perhaps especially with the child being so young to get on your own two feet and not settle next time with a low life of a partner...these are tough times, hang in there and you will come out stronger on the other side, good luck.
2007-03-26 18:14:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be happy that someone else got stuck with a guy that would go out with someone underage. Obviously he is immature and inexperienced so look at the bright side and go from there. In the long run your life will be soooo much better. Just deal with these things right now and the next thing you know you will be out and happier than ever while he gets stuck with some little girl who is expecting everything from him. Good luck!
2007-03-26 18:12:27 · answer #6 · answered by kittypunx 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
to get free of the emotional pain we have to accept reality, when we do accept it, it ceases to be suffering anymore. to avoid the pain your feeling now u will never reach the next level of consciousness, u can't get there without suffering, if we try and skip over the pain part of it, we stay immature, so right now your evolving spiritually. it is never easy to live around the corner from the man u loved and his new woman, its like a reminder of the pain. been there done that, had to move away, just found it hard to deal with it. if u can move away and find a new place to live it will help u. he won't last long with the 17 year old, she is young and isn't ready to settle down yet, but when he comes crawling back, don't take him back. just love yourself, don't allow your emotions to control u, don't let what happened steal your joy or your future, get your self esteem back, this has nothing to do with u, this is about a man who wanted to escape his responsibility, a man who didn't want to grow up. yes it does hurt, but it won't hurt forever.
2007-03-27 14:50:59 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Looking at images is only a common man factor, even though such a lot wont admit to it to different women on the grounds that they recognize they'll be misunderstood and judged. I do not consider you will have to see this as a predicament Occasionally, whilst a man is in love, he is prompted with adequate snap shots of his love in his head that he would get tired of watching at different images... however now not all men are like this, and a it does not make every other men larger or worse than him ;)
2016-09-05 17:22:06 · answer #8 · answered by stoll 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's very sad.
Make sure you get child support, then move a bit away from him. This will take two worries out of your head - rearing a child and going through the pain of watching him.
Then concentrate on your child, to make things better. This will help your to focus your thoughts. You can take help of single parent groups in your neighborhood or web groups.
Once you've got these things under control, you will feel much less stressed and can focus on your life.
2007-03-26 18:19:15 · answer #9 · answered by Sean 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, go and get a child support order from the court in the county you live in. Make sure you ask them to take it out of his check weekly. This is not a play...it is what you and your children are entitled to..
Next, thank God he did this because it has shown you what a deceitful person he really is. And trust me, he is not keeper material.
After that, hurry up and get over him and never let him back into your personal life.. Why? Because you are better than that.
Stay strong little sister!
God bless you
John
2007-03-26 18:06:00 · answer #10 · answered by JOHN 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋