I need to teach a homewrecker a lesson, any ideas?

Question

i have been with my husband 20 years, 2 kids. last april his high school girlfriends husband died. 3 days after funeral ahe started calling my husband still in love with him and had a 300,000 insurance policy on her husband. she bought my husband a jeep, a motorcycle, an apartment close to her and pays all his bills. i cant compete with money, i have none. i dont want him back anymore but i want to punish them both. help me.

Answer 1

You did already. You let her have him. Do you really think theirs is a match made in heaven. Of course not. See you have the luxury of the revenge without having to do anything. Just sit back and watch as this all looks really hunky dory for awhile until the money runs out or some other man comes along for her or any host of other things that will lure the two of them apart. And the funny thing is you won't have to do a thing......it won't cost you anything and you can enjoy watching as it crumbles apart. And once that happens and the grass isn't greener on the other side any longer.......well that's when your fun really begins. Why you ask?...Well I am glad you did ask. See at that point he will realize what a baboon he has been and probably will make some sort of gesture to get back in your life. Well what a revenge it will be when you tell him that you have moved on with your life and don't want anything to do with him any more.
Now that's revenge!.....Good Luck!

Answer 2

I'd say the best revenge is move on. It must be a living hell - all the thoughts and all the memories and I'm sorry you are going through this.
Still, to be honest you need to ask yourself if it's the money. If it is, well then he's no prize but sueing her will be..
If it's not, then when time has healed a little, you may be able to look at what made him go back to her; marriages fail for more than one reason, and not just to the blame of one party. I'm not blaming you at all, but consider what you could do differently in a new relationship when you are ready.

The best revenge is really visible apathy. If you're angry or upset, sad or hurting, it's something they can deal with. If you're indifferent and happy? Well that will itch your ex in places he hasn't even dreamed existed, whatever her abilities are!

3 days after the funeral?... the body wasn't even cold yet, was it?... Truly sorry for you and your kids - by the way, whatever anyone tells you, they cannot be your tool of revenge, and this you already know.

Answer 3

I think what you should do is be the bigger woman and concentrate on the most important part of this situation: your kids. They need you more than anything now, no matter how old or young they are. As much as we women want to get back at the girls who ruin our happy homes and perfect relationships, you must not forget that you are the mature and better person. I know that this may do nothing for your anger, but remember anger is a secondary emotion and we often do the dumbest things and most regretful things when we are angry. Take all that hatred and turn it into passion for loving and teaching your children so that they don't do this to someone else or don't grow up bitter and hurt.

And if you really want to get back at him, deny custody of the children and demand child support that most likely she will have to pay! :-)

Answer 4

sure u have a right to want revenge, he was the man who was suppose to love and protect u. only in the real world sometimes bad happens, and we have no control at all over it. wanting revenge brings out the worst in us. the damage is already done and u should try to put all that in your past, as long as u seek revenge u stay in the emotional hurt. your husband was immature, selfish, seeking the materialistic things in life. but if she could take him away so easily, he really wasn't worth keeping anyway. we have to control our emotions, and don't be envious of her or her money, she will reap what she has sown and what she did to harm u will come back on her one day, u are a bigger person than your problems, u can get through this, u just need to get some self worth.

Answer 5

Same thing happened to me. Get full custody of the kids and the right to claim them on taxes.... Get as much child support as possible, and alimony. Also make sure he is responsible for all the cost of schooling, including whatever college you or the kids want, and, of course, full medical coverage. The punishment will be that she gets the cheater, who will do the same thing to her. It did to mine. The homewrecker and my ex enjoyed less than a year together.... What a fool some guys can be. Best of luck to you.

OHHHH, also, 300 thousands is a lot of money, but it will go fast the way she is spending it. Your ex- will not live in luxury all that long and see that he has lost his family and the respect of his family and friends as well.

Answer 6

Having been where the same emotions that you have and having to deal with them one at the time and sometimes reoccurance during remembrances of past events I can only give the advice I will utilize in dealing with this array of emotions. I tried everything from getting even to planning the retribution that would get even and then some. With that thought process, I condemned myself to a longer agony over circumstances that would never change and the affect of what I would do, even if unexpected, could not provide satisfaction of justice enough to relieve me of the torture of emotion. I would give the advice to take the legal portions with a strong stance, plan the rest of your life whith the children and for their success in life and put the things in place to prevent this event from ever happening again, and most of all, free yourself from the horrible feelings that surround what you ask and use forgiveness. Writing this causes me to cry and think back at how much pain I endured and blamed everyone and thing in the world but myself and the shadow that I cast on everyone I associated with because of the way I felt had adverse reactions in my search for a friend and if not blinded by the emotion I could have seen that there was a vast number of people to offer friendship and in reality, I was looking for someone to agree with me and wallow in the same. Don't miss any of life by making yourself suffer. You are not singlehandedly going to change what happened or be the tool of equality. That has already been taken care of in that What goes around, comes around and as it returns it gathers speed. It does not happen in our time regardless of how hard we push. Take care of your kids and focus on good things and setting the example. People that are the quality of the one that you describe are already taken care of but we are not priveleged to say when or be the instrument that brings balance. Good is the key to doing the best for the children and that should be the primary focus of your responsibilities. All that you do to seek revenge only takes away from them and teaches them the wrong things. Be smart, not angry and I know this sounds impossible but I will tell you that writing this answer is as hard for me to do as it is for you to believe but I offer only what I have learned by being there.

Answer 7

There are VERY FEW states (only about half a dozen, I think) that still allow alienation of affection lawsuits. MOST states have abolished these types of lawsuits, so unless you live in a state that allows them, you can’t sue her.

But, with a 20-year-marriage, you *might* be able to qualify for alimony from him.

And, of course, you would get child support as well (depending on the ages of the children).

Answer 8

Who will this really punish? It makes you look out of control. They will be taking up your time like they are right now. If he could be bought he had no real value. True friends and faithful husbands are priceless. Focus on your kids and your life and put your energy where it will do some good. Then you come out of it ahead and you leave them in the dust. You have more important things to think about. Don't rent your enemies room in your head!

Answer 9

This may sound cliche', but karma will come. What goes around comes around. Don't do anything negative except get a divorce now and get at least half of the assets and child support. Statistics show that a relationship that started out as deceitful has less than a 10% chance of making it. And never, never take him back.

Answer 10

I can just imagine your pain, but right now it is anger. The best revenge is for you husband not to see your angry and for him to see how what he left behind is better then what he left for. Don't waste your good life thinking of how to get revenge. They will not be happy. $300,000 thousand is not a lot of money and it will go by fast. The best revenge is to be nice to your husband and help him spend her money. Then she will get mad and angry with him while your really using both of them..