Need some 1 who will listen to this prob & give Relationship Advise?

Question

Please this is tearing me up inside,
I need advise & I know what I'm about
to say might be long & might even
offend some people but please I'm so
confused & hurt & I just need some
guidance on what to do.

I am currently in a long term relationship
with my BF. We've been together for 6 years
now. We've had our share of arguments but
we have always worked things out somehow &
have always kept the line of communication
open. I thought he was THE ONE, until certant
things happened & I began to realize over time
that a TRUE LOVE wouldn't do such things to me.
I thought about breaking up back then, but then
he got better. Now the only problem I have is
he thinks I'm too clingy. I had all this love
for him but he doesn't want me to bother him
with too much affection. My other problem is he
doesn't show enough affections to me. Now I'm
beginning to loose those feelings for him, since
I'm not able to express myself to him like how
I'd like to, & I feel he isn't expressing enough
to me. Sometimes, I feel like the reason he
doesn't want me to be like that is because he
wants sex instead. We've been together for 6
years & I have yet to have sex with him. We have
fooled around though.

My other problem is recently I met this guy who is
also in a relationship, & I have really strong
feelings for him. I don't know him completely yet
but all my senses are saying he is THE ONE. I don't
want to ruin anyone's life nor do I want to hurt
anyone. So I have kept it to myself. I have not
told this guy how I felt, because of my delemas
& how complicated it would be to tell such a guy
in his position. (keeping out details due to
length of this question, but it is a very
complicated thing if I was to consider ever
telling this guy)

Because of this I am really considering breaking
up with my BF. I can't stand feeling like this &
I feel like my heart is cheating. The best thing
would be to let my BF go & for him to find someone
better for him. However, we have built so much
together, & I worry about everything that we have
made together will fall apart. I would like to stay
friends & stay co-workers / co-owners of our business
together, but the more I think about it the more I
know he'll be too emotionally hurt to separate the
relationship from other things in our life. Don't
get me wrong, I am not breaking up in hopes of
getting the other guy. I just think it's not fair to
my BF if my feelings are fading for him, & I'm
starting to have feelings for someone else.

For the sake of "What if's" I will say if there was
ever a moment where the truth could come out about
my feelings for this guy, I would like to tell him
but I would not want him to cheat nor would I cheat,
but I would like him to consider, if a relationship
between us is at all possible.

I'm afraid telling this guy about my feelings will
hurt any possibility of a friendship, which is sad
because he's really cool.

Actually this could have been longer because it's
a bit more complicated then this, but this is me
trying to sum everything up.

So I guess what I'm asking is:
1) How do I tell my BF about what I'm feeling?
2) Should I breakup with my BF?
3) Should I tell the guy how I feel about him?

For more information if you want to help me you are
more then welcome to email me. Please, I really need
help.

I'm trying to contact people but Y!Answers is saying:

"Oops
It looks like you've exceeded your daily quota for emails."

So if you really want to help, please contact me instead and give me your email that I can reply back to. And you'll have my email that way too.
Thanks SO much people, I really need to get this sorted out, it's been occupying my head ALL this weekend and TODAY.

BTW people, I am 24 and I live in the USA. Since people are asking about my age. Yes, I am still a virgin but I have messed around with my BF.

Answer 1

Alright ...You want advice and need help ..I will help you ok . Contact me either by emails and or IM's on Yahoo and I'll be glad to help you out.

what I can tell now is that you don't love your BF anymore..and if you have been going out of 6 years and no sex.. he has to be cheating behind your back. My advice is to dump him and follow your heart. Tell the other guy how you feel..cause if he don't feel the same then you can but him behind you.

If you want more help contact me K !!!!!

Answer 2

Wow. That's the longest question I ever read!

First, simple rule of thumb - go with your own intuition. Who out of these do you really want to be with? I don't think you have really made up your mind about this, and it would be wrong to ask for answers as to who the right person for you would be. Only you can answer that. Just remember the grass always looks greener on the other side!

Could you be interpreting your bf's behaviour differently because of the feelings you have for this other guy? Are these feelings prominant for the other guy because of the way you feel about your bf?

Have you asked your bf if he still wants to be with you? Could he be feeling the same way..?

If you decide to tell this other guy about your feelings, you must be prepared to deal with the outcome. He may not have the same feelings towards you, and then where are you left?
On the other hand, he may feel exactly the same way, and if that's the case, he is also in a relationship and do you want to jepordise that for him? Are you prepared to really deal with whatever happens?

1. Sit down and YES tell your bf what your feeling.

2. Make the decision about breaking up with your bf after you talk with him. He make help you to clarify what you are feeling.

3. Don't tell this guy anything until you know what you want to do about your bf. It wouldn't be fair on him if he mirrors your feelings towards him. You might lead him to believe you have something together when you may end up staying with your partner. This kind of thing could possibly break up any friendship you two may have because it will certainly leave things in an awkward situation.

6 years is a long time - maybe a break will help you both?

Good luck.

Answer 3

Okay, you really need to tell your boyfriend how you're feeling. The relationship you are in with him does not sound good at all ESPECIALLY if it is causing you so much pain like it is. Just tell him how you feel about what is going on between the two of you right now. By all means do NOT tell him about this other guy.

Yes you should break up with your boyfriend. The way he is treating you and just wanting sex and him not wanting to show you any affection is flat out unhealthy for the relationship and even thought it's been six years and apparently you guys have built a business together, the personal relationship is not working out and like I said before, it's just not healthy. Keeping the business relationship will take work and strength on your part as well as his but PLEASE think about yourself and how this is making you feel. You are important and so is your well-being.

This other guy, do not tell him how you feel at this point. First of all, he is in another relationship. You don't want to cause any issues between his relationship with this other girl. Second of all, you don't know this guy well enough. Be friends first, get to know him better so that you can judge correctly whether this is someone that you know for sure that you want to be involved with.

If you need any more advice or help just email me. I really hope things work out for you and I hope this helped.

Answer 4

Whatever happened that made you think he wasn't the one, keep in mind that it will probably happen again. Here's the thing, there is no perfect person, we just have to find somebody with the faults that we can deal with. I've had enough long term relationships to realize that the man your with is not going to change very much, so if you can't accept the way he is now the best thing would be to leave him. Also, if hes not being very affectionate, maybe hes feeling the same way and is scared to break it off. 6 years is a long time. Most men find change very scary. My advice on the other guy is to wait. Make sure your over this one before you even think about another relationship.

Answer 5

You didn't mention your age, 6 years without sex is relative on how old or young you and your BF. You sound like you're too young to be in a permanent relationship. You sound like you're getting impatient with your BF and you're looking for someone to make him jealous enough to give you the attention you're seeking for. Ask yourself, Is that the kind of GF your BF is looking for? Maybe what you need is to grow and be more self-confident. That's what makes us all interesting to others.

Answer 6

it may seem like a lot to juggle with, but it's good that you have your problems listed. first of all you have to tell your boyfriend what you've said to us. the way you've been treated and how you're losing feelings for him but you still want to be friends and and maintain this partnership. you should find the right time to tell him all this . also don't bother with the other guy , unless he's single again.

Answer 7

1) honestly
2) only you know
3) not until you know what you want to do with your current boyfriend, if you want to stay with you BF then no, forget about the other guy. if you break up with your BF you can talk to the other guy but don't take him serious if he dont want to leave his girl. once a cheater always a cheater. guaranteed.

Answer 8

1) Honestly
2) Yes
3) Yes

Answer 9

i was in a similar situation, remember this....choose the guy who will treat you better! you know sub-consciencely which one that is. good luck my dear.you can e mail me too if you need more help.

Answer 10

Sweetie..email me... no joke, I can try to help.... you need to deal with this...click on my lick, my link is right there...