Daughter having sex help?

Question

When i got home from work I heared a nosie coming from my daughters room. when i got up there i saw her having sex with her boyfriend. When she saw me she didnt even stop right away. What should I do?

Answer 1

Beat her A SS!!

Answer 2

My 16 year old daughter was there when my 4 month old was born... she has decided not to have sex until she's married now and she's considering adoption instead of having her own baby. Seeing the actual birth and being a part of it kind of put things into perspective for her. She got to see up close and personal the consequences. My daughter is not sexually active but she is in the minority. There is a lot of pressure on girls to be sexually active today that wasn't there even 10 years ago. I don't know how old your daughter is but it isn't unusual to hear of 11 & 12 year olds having sex now a days. It is absolutely horrible. The best advice I can give you is to sit down, calm down and think. You and your hubby need to decide what to do together. The first thing I would do is take her to the doctor and get her on the pill. Then I'd educate her about Std's and teen pregnancy. And after that I 'd take her to see our pastor so that she could get his perspective and maybe that of a few of the teen mothers in our community. The more you talk to her about the consequences the less likely she'll end up pregnant or worse. I wish there was some miraculous bit of info i could give you that would fix this but there isn't from here out it's all about monitoring her closely, being honest and straight forward with her and educating her. Good Luck I really do hope you can convince her this isn't the right path for her life.

Answer 3

Take her to a gynecologist and get her on the pill TOMORROW! Then hit the drug store and get her a box of condoms, and make sure it's always stocked.

It must have been quite a shock, and even harder to swallow considering her under-reaction. I wonder if she was hoping to be caught, perhaps to get attention?

It would probably be wise to speak to a family counselor with your daughter. Sometimes teens listen more to people outside the family, because of "baggage" or past lectures, making it hard to hear the same truth from their parents.

The family counselor can address issues like STD's, pregnancy and self respect, without confrontation, anger and recrimination taking center stage.

Also, the counselor could perhaps find out why she wanted to be caught and to disrespect you the way she did.

I know it's hard, but punishment isn't the best course, as it will just make her more rebellious and more likely to continue having sex somewhere else.

As hard as it is, try not to get angry, go for instructional instead. It will do a lot more good for both of you in the long run.

GL

Answer 4

Depends on how old she is. First - you have a talk with her about how dis-respected you feel. Calmly would work better.
Second - if she's underage you should take her and get her on birth control unless you are ready to raise another one..
Third - If she's overage she should know enough to NOT do this in your home and should be out on her own.
Fourth - DO NOT forbid and get crazy with the mom rules ; otherwise she will just be defiant.

I was a young girl once and I have to remind my 15 yr. old step-daughter of this! She has been sexually active. The reason I know is because we had a respectful talk in private and she had alot of ques. I assumed her mom had talked to her about; although I was wrong.
I also did stuff when I was in my mom's home UNTIL my mom said she felt so dis-respected by me and she was calmly crying...I never felt so bad in my life! I was trying to be "grown-up"..but at that moment I actually felt like a selfish-little brat! I never did it again in her home! Good luck to you and I hope you and your daughter enter a whole new level of understanding. She needs you now and forever.

Answer 5

How old is she??? If she is very young, stop leaving her home alone this is the perfect opportunity for her to mess around. Have a talk with her about STD's and about her morals and so forth. Lets be honest a lot of us fooled around when are parents were not home but depending on her age I would really be worried especially due to the fact that you seeing her barley even fazed her . This tells me that she has no respect for you or the rules of your house.

Answer 6

How old is your daughter? First of all if you get angry she will not respond very well, but if you sit her down and say hey thats fine as long as your responsible about it and tell her all facts and ensure she is on birth control and using protection she will respond more positively. This could even be a rebelious thing and she is looking for a reaction from you but if you don't give her one she will probably think about what she is doing and be more cautious.

Answer 7

First, I know this is a young kid asking this question. or someone with too much time on their hands... I doubt that a mature parent would come online to ask what to do when they caught their child having sex.. well she needs to be taught respect, for your house and for you...and if she isnt old enough to be having sex, have a talk with her, about all the consequences that comes along with having sex...but again i know this question is full of BS.. but just answering anyway

Answer 8

Whoa! How disrespectful is that! Your not going to stop it unless you send her to boarding school. I think the best thing to do is talk to her about the importance of safe sex and the incredible risk of STD's. And do it in a nice way or she will never listen and might even do what you say not to out of spite.

Answer 9

how old is she? my sugestion is sit down and talk to her about it. she oviously feels like she is old enough. take her to planed parent hood get her on the pill. when i started having sex my mom forbid me from having sex in her house...so we did it in the park and in cars.. not cool. i personaly will let my daughter have sex in her own room if and when she starts having sex. it is a natural thing... let her know that you lovwe her and only want the best. but deffinatly get her on the pill... having a baby as a teen can be realy tough... belive me i know

Answer 10

LOCK HER IN A CLOSET!!!

Oh I would die! How are you holding up???

Okay so if you get her birth control you are condoning it. If you don't are you just sticking your head in the sand? I seriously probably would not get her the birth control. I also would probably never let her see the boy again. I maybe would even move. Do they still have boarding schools? Thats an option.

Don't do what I would do. God gave me 4 boys for a reason.

Answer 11

you could try telling her about safe sex, and make some new rules for certain behaviour around the house, here's a hint for your safe sex talk.

Rather then dwelling on when the right time is for everybody, we would just like to remind everyone to stay in tune with their own bodies, and to stay true to themselves as much as possible. If the person you are with isn’t willing to wait for you to be ready, then you can fill this part in yourself…

That said, when you are ready to have sex, you will already know that safe sex is a responsibility of all parties involved, and that knowledge and practice, are the best tools to making sex fun, positive and safe. Use a condom, every time, for any reason, and you will be much less likely to have a problem.

Performing safe sex is recommended whenever possible, but we can not stress the importance enough of using it when with a new partner.

1. Whenever possible, use latex condoms.
2. Since no birth control method is bullet proof, a condom is great backup.

3. Using a latex glove for finger penetration prevents cuts from fingernails.

4. ONLY use water-based lubricants with latex as oil based products destroy it.

In one recent U.S. study* about one-half of the sexually experienced teenagers had failed to use a condom the last time they had intercourse. So for all the kids, bumping and grinding and forgetting to wrap it up, this next section is a taste of reality that can be easy to forget about until it happens to you.

Sexually Transmitted Diseases

A little “finger wagging” as our mother’s would say, and now comes the stats. These are important, so pay attention. They provide the foundation for answering the too often asked ‘what are the odds that I’ll catch something this time?’ question, and should convince you that this is a serious affair affecting at least 40 million people around the world every year.
AIDS / HIV

We will begin by looking at the AIDS epidemic. In 1997 2.3 million people were estimated to have died worldwide from the disease. Though that number may be coming down in western countries, the number of people contracting the disease is certainly going up. And over the last twenty or so years over half a million people have died in the USA from AIDS, and it still registers as the primary killer of people ages 25-44. What is the most scary part of this epidemic in North America is the fact that the number of HIV (the virus that causes AIDS) positive teenagers doubles every 14 months.

Q: What is driving these seemingly out of control numbers?

A: up to 80% of infected Americans don’t know that they are carrying the virus.

In an attempt to even the playing field I have included a brief description of what HIV/AIDS is and how it is spread. HIV is the virus that causes AIDS and is spread when semen, vaginal fluid or blood passes from an HIV positive person into the bloodstream of another person. To enter the bloodstream, the virus must enter through a break in the skin or tissue in the mouth, vagina or rectum, or, enter the tip of the penis. The virus then breaks down our immune systems that fight off infection and other illnesses. People tend to contract fairly harmless bacterial or viral contagions, which under normal immune operating conditions would simply keep you in bed for a couple of days, but when the immune system doesn’t work a common cold can kill you.

The World Health Organization says that in the first five years of the new century, half of all new infections world-wide will occur between the ages 15-19, and the fastest growing infection rates are among young women. This means that this issue is most pressing for our young people. We can no longer afford to not talk about it, or not educate our children about sex and their responsibilities.
Other STD's

The fact that AIDS and HIV are so dangerous should not reduce our concern over other types of sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s). Left untreated, sexually transmitted diseases can cause infertility, cancer, birth defects and miscarriages - even death. This being said, with the amount of treatments available and easily accessible, Americans still suffer 10 to 50 times more sexually transmitted diseases than people in other developed countries. This highlights the alarming deficit of knowledge within the general population and need for greater dissemination of preventative methods and awareness of the risks.

To further examine this problem in the US and Canada it is astounding that sexually transmitted diseases are diagnosed 12 million times a year in the United States -- including 3 million cases among teenagers. In light of massive empirical evidence suggesting that perhaps there may be a problem, the U.S. spends just $1 to prevent sexually transmitted illnesses for every $43 spent treating them. Gonorrhea strikes 150 times per 100,000 Americans, vs. just three times per 100,000 people in Sweden and 18 per 100,000 in Canada.

There is strong evidence that sexually transmitted diseases greatly increase the risk of sexual transmission of HIV, and thus are not something to exclude from any discussion of safe sexual practices.

To learn more about other STDs, just locate the section in the Sexual Health area of the navigation bar.
What about Oral sex?

Is oral sex safe? Well, yes and no. This is certainly not to say that there are no risks, though unprotected oral sex is generally considered less risky then unprotected vaginal or anal sex. Since the lining of the mouth is less permeable than the lining of the lower orifices, there is a less likely chance of getting a small tear from the activity. That being said, if a cut is already there, ex cut during flossing, then it can be equally dangerous.

To minimize your risk while engaging in oral sex follow some suggestions for experimenting with at least new partners:

* Use condoms or dental dams whenever possible
* If you decide to roll the dice on the first tip, avoid ejaculating in someone's mouth
* If you see something suspicious, put the fantasy on hold until a doctor clears it
* Floss and brush regularly - but not right before oral sex
* Above all, get tested and know your status, so that you can help protect others

Remember to take things slow, and that behind every unwanted pregnancy or STD infection, is a person thinking it wouldn't happen to them.