Ok i confronted my fiancee, because she was giving me Mix Signals in our conversation and there were signs that she might have Sleeped with her friend, but i have no physical proof, i asked her if she could discontinued the friendship with him and she said fine, but i need Closure and i don't know if i should confront the other guy and just ask him? She also told me that shes willing to take a lyieng detector test? Should i make her take the test or just move on and make it work, and sould i talk to the friend??
2007-03-26 16:50:02 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should consider if you trust her enough to go through with this marriage. A marriage should be based on trust. If you do trust her then you need to drop it and move on, as you said, you have no proof and she said she will even end the friendship if it will make you more comfortable. If you still are bothered by this and don't believe her the two of you need to have a serious talk about where this relationship is going.
2007-03-26 16:57:32 · answer #1 · answered by Starshine 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think i would invest in the lie detector test, she i banking that you will not do it. I bet you if you make the appointment to have it done she will finally come clean. How can you marry her and have this be part of your legacy. When we doubt it is for a reason 99 percent of the time. You would invest more in a home why not your future wife. Many people are going to tell you to trust her and not to be insecure and all that mumble jumble, But your heart is telling you something, so listen to your heart, i believe that you will come to find out she was cheating. It is best you clean the air and then proceed with her if you love her. But only if she comes clean before the test , if she takes the test and fails then you have to leave her because it will show her true colors. If she passes then you will know you can trust her and love her , and if she loves you she will not try to turn the tables one you. If your not one of those guys then go for the test.
2007-03-26 17:11:19 · answer #2 · answered by LittleDaisy. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you really need to think about whether the two of you should be engaged to be married. If you are having trust issues with her now, that will not change when you are married. Did you ask her if she slept with him? I would start there and reevaluate the relationship. Also, when a person is guilty they say alot of things to make the other person believe they are telling the truth.....like I'll take a lie detector test (it's not like there is a lie detector test site on every corner), I'll never drink again etc. etc.
2007-03-26 17:06:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't confront the other guy, or ask him anything. No lie detector tests, either. It would just make you look weak.
If she does discontinue the friendship with the guy (and she should, if she's marrying you), it's a good sign.
2007-03-26 17:12:44 · answer #4 · answered by joe b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fiancee... well she might be giving mixed signals because she is nervous about marriage.
If she told you she didn`t and she`s willing to end the friendhsip (which I don`t think is right for you to ask by the way), you should let it be. It sounds llike you are insecure and you shouldn`t be. She`s engaged to you, so you should give her the benefit of the doubt.
To take a lie detector test is pretty much impossible unless you are willing to go to a police station, so just let it be.
Don`t talk to the friend and just be happy.
2007-03-26 16:56:54 · answer #5 · answered by can_you_accept_who_i_m 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OK, you're letting this thing make you into a silly little boy. If she said she is dicontinuing the friendship, leave it at that.Confronting the guy is actually going to empower him.
Where you need to be concerned is that she may have cheated on you and is lieing and is planning on taking that into your marriage. Not a good way to start off a marriage.
I'd keep my eye on this woman if I were you. I'd let this thing die down but I would watch her a little. If another funny circumstance pops up and that guy is involved, then you need to suspend your marriage palns indefinitely, you guys have some serious issues you have to work out first.
2007-03-26 16:59:42 · answer #6 · answered by huckleberry1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love her, believe her and leave well alone!
If you need a lie detector test, what will you do after marriage. You see, this is why marriages fail - because they don't trust BEFORE the fact. It's not a case of once a cheater always a cheater. Just my two cents' worth...
2007-03-26 20:44:52 · answer #7 · answered by Sugar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
chasing after closure to something is just a hunt for false promises that things are going to return to normal as soon as u come face to face with reality. closure is not something to pursue to an end its a consequence of acceptance, letting go. confronting him will only get u lies, u just have to move past it, she needs to never see him again, and focus on getting her relationship back where it was with u, providing that is her goal here.
2007-03-27 12:41:35 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do don't do to the guy. If your girl slept with him then she is the whore.
Ok, and it shouldn't take a lie detector test to sense the truth. You should know if she is lying or not1
2007-03-26 16:56:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you just have to trust her, im had the same problem with my girl and i decided that even if she did there is nothing i can do about it, and that if i keep pushing the subject and im wrong then she might get fed up and just leave. TRUST HER if thats how you feel
2007-03-26 16:54:28 · answer #10 · answered by Chrystopher P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋